Post # 1
soo i’ll try to make long story short. me and dh have decided to get married by church, after 8yrs, i’ve decided its time to do it for us not for anyone else or soo i thought. we decided that to have our wedding we would pay everything our selves with a little help from my mom. just so you understand me ill explain a little more,….we are mexican (catholic), to which we are custom to have padrinos and madrinas to help out with the wedding costs…..but since we’ve been in this sort of situation before we opted not to ask for help because we got a completely negative attitude before. we’ve been married for 7yrs going on 8 in june and have 3 beautiful daughters, but we’ve been togheter for 11yrs and dh family has never approved of me for one reason or another. ive been planing my upcoming wedding for the past month, and to tell you the thruth i just rather not do anything at all….its been really hard on me because i come from a family of 3 including myself and dh comes from a family of 9. he has 4 sisters and 4 brothers which of them only the wife of his 3rd oldest brother talks to me,….shes the only one i can count on for anything… sad, i know. every time i start planning or thinking of the wedding i cant help to think of how they are going to react, criticise, badmouth me or just simply instigate and create drama for me like they’ve done in the past. i actually no longer want a party/reception planning of that sort,….because all i can think about is how no one will be there at the wedding for me, all i keep on picturing is sitting by my self at the table and just having a bad time, and i say this because weather its me throwing a birthday party for my girls or going to a family gathering im always by my self while everyone else is in a circle talking and laughing the night away. ive talked to dh and he just rather we go get married on a weekday without a reception or anything of that sort and who ever wants to join us at church are more than welcome to….but i just cant help to feel heartbroken every time i start to plan what should be our special day. sorry for the long story…..please help any advice or kind words are welcome…….thanks
Post # 3
I’m so sorry to hear this 🙁 Don’t feel discouraged! Don’t let other people ruin yours and your husband’s day 🙂 This is a day to be happy, to celebrate your marriage before God. It’s something between you, your husband and your daughters. There’s always negative people around and if they don’t approve of you or what you do, that’s their business.
As an advice, I would ask your husband to talk to them and ask them to be polite, to avoid creating drama or not to bother to show up. You actually don’t have to deal with them, your husband is the right person to do it.
Keep planning and imagine that day surrounded by the people you love, the people who truly loves you, no matter if there’s a 100 people or 10 people, it’s better to be surrounded by love 🙂
Everything will be alright, every family (especially us mexicans jaaja) has someone like that, but in the end, I’m sure you’ll have a great time :)!!
Post # 4
I am sorry to hear that you are stressing so much.
I think if you feel that you need to be married in a church then you should do it. If this is something between your family and God, then don’t let other people bring you down.
I say keep planning your day and think about how much fun you will have with your husband and your children. If anyone else wants to join in the fun, welcome them but don’t expect it. Enjoy your day and celebrate the love you have together.
Post # 5
I’m sorry you’ve had so much negativity from your family – but, I think it may be a blessing in disguise.
While I know you’d love to have the wedding of your dreams: surrounded by a loving a supportive extended family – it doesn’t sound like that’s a reality for you, unfortunately.
Even when a family doesn’t have issues there are STILL ISSUES! You are not alone in this disappointment!!
I say maybe it’s a blessing in disguise because the situation you find yourself in may be exactly what you need to really think about what’s most important to you regarding the wedding.
FOCUS on the people that support you and the ones that you can count on. If the others choose to show up and be supportive, then that’s a win. But, at the end of the day – it’s a celebration of your and your husband and the children you have together. That’s what’s most important.
You don’t have any control about how others can or cannot support you or how they choose to respond.
Plan the wedding that you and your husband desire (so you have no regrets) and do it without demanding or assuming you will get support from those non-supportive people. Invite those you wish to and enjoy those that choose to participate. If the others miss it, it’s their loss.
Post # 6
thank you sooo much for all your wonderful advice….i will talk to dh and hope to come to a solution. i hope we or i in this case have a wonderful wedding. i will try to let youu know what happens and what we decide.
Post # 7
If you want the wedding do it for yourself and your husband, not for anyone else. There are always going to be bad people around you, you just have to stay focussed on your family and what you want for yourself and for them. Who cares what the others think or say.
Post # 8
i know i’m late but why dont you just take that money and go away with your family. and just go to the church for the blessing of your marriage and your family! and dont bother talking to them, they just jealous!
Post # 9
Three words: Don’t invite them.
Seriously, you don’t have too, if they aren’t nice too you, you don’t have to be nice to them.. I know it’s easy to say and not so easy to do, and that it’s your DH’s family so you must care about what they say or think about you, but it sounds as a lost case… so, if you want to have your happy wedding, invite YOUR family, and your friends, and those of your DH’s family who are nice to you, and ignore the rest of them…
Post # 9
wow how many times this thing posted!!
Post # 10
I’m semi going through the same with his family. They dont respect our relationship. Invite them as a gesture of maturity and respect but if they dont show up, remember that that day is about your love for each other. Its a celebration of family and unity and its so sad that pple have forgotten this very special detail. Keep your head up and plan your dream day for you and your daughters. =)