- 3 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
So we are hosting and paying on our own for a moderately sized wedding, 140 people. This is the max that our room can hold and the max we can afford.
I come from a huge family, I have 12 aunt’s and uncles on one side and 6 on the other, and 45 first cousin’s not including signifcant others. I picked and chose who I invited, and cut out 18 cousins + dates (36), some because I hadn’t talked to in 3+ years and others because they are convicts or drug addicts. I’m not even close with half of my family but felt obligated to invite most of them.
This isn’t including my fiance’s family. Or friends whom we see weekly and have a relationship with.
Most recently my invitations went out and I had one Aunt asking my mom about her invitation (whom I am not inviting) and another aunt asking me about her son’s invitation.
Which in my opinion is tacky in itself to ask about an invitation in the first place.
How did others address this issue?
I told my Aunt inquiring about her son that our original guest list was over 250 people and we had to cut it down to 140, and that once I get more no’s I can send out more invites. Problem is most people will wait until the very last minute to reply or wont do so at all.
I just hate that people put you in that place or predicament. It’s just as bad as people assuming they have a plus one. Which I am also dealing with. Our wedding is 45 minutes away and 2 of my gf’s got separate hotel rooms because they think are going to ask a random guy to be their date to the wedding, although I did not give them a plus one. I’ve known both several years and neither have had a bf in that time period nor do either have one now. I have yet to get an RSVP from either of them, but I already told the other 4 in the group I wasn’t giving plus one’s unless you were in a relationship, guess no one has told them or wants to. I wasn’t going to pay for them to bring someone just to bring someone, that itself seems tacky. So do I wait until the plus one’s or nip it prior to them sending it?
Fiance’s mother told us to invite her out of state family as a courtesy. We had no intentions of inviting any of them because Fiance has only seen them 2x in his entire life. And now we have half a dozen of them unexpectedly coming.
Lastly I dealt with the honor of a cousin of mine calling me a liar when I said I was funding my own wedding, because my bs’ing alcoholic father is telling people he is giving me a 1k a month for 6 months. I told her I’d love to see some of that money, too bad I hadn’t, nor will I ever.
Needless to say I am stressed and having a difficult time dealing with people in general. I feel as if no one is happy about the wedding. People make it out like it is a burden and inconvenience for them to attend. My fiance and I keep saying to one another that these people needn’t come then if it is such a pain. Because we know other’s who would love to attend.
Any advice or people who have gone through this and how you dealt with it all would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.