- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
We ended up spending about $15-17k on our wedding, when we had hoped for closer to $12k in the beginning... but then the guest list kept growing. But when I consider that we had a beachfront wedding with a reception hall directly on the water for 150 guest, and that figure included everything, from meals to my dress, to tux rental, limo rental, everything... I guess it isn't THAT bad, but still hurts when we paid for the bulk of it ourselves after wiping our savings out last year to buy our house! But when people hear what we spent, they are like, "wow, you did ALL THAT for that little?!" Which is a compliment I guess, but still... I can see how you would be offended by your mentor's comment. But hey, maybe you SHOULD go into wedding planning! Show her a thing or two!
@Meowkers: what a debbie downer! is she even invited? or married for that matter?dont let it bother you - you'll have a fabulous wedding and she'll still be a callous hag. lol!
We're only spending about $9k and we had tons of people comment negatively on how that was SO expensive. I just shook my head and told them to look up the national average and then come tell me my wedding was expensive. My local average is even $12k so.... STFU.
It's rude for people to talk about money at all, esp in the workplace. Once I bought a new pair of designer sunglasses and a coworker asked me how much the cost. I was really pissed off b/c that's none of his business and it's not like he was in the market for a pair of womens designer sunglasses, he jsut wanted to gossip. As far as wedding budget, we were TOTALLY silent on this issue, even to family. We either said we weren't willing to discuss it or gave really vauge answers like "We're trying to spend as little as possible" or "The budget goes up every day" or something like that.
Yep, in hindsight (and if anyone else asks), I would just reply, "Oh, we don't really have a budget!"
As for your boss -- I understand her tone may have been somewhat condescending, but why not just turn it around on her!? Another good reply, "Why, thank you for the compliment!"
Just remember next time something like this happens you always have the choice to openly say "I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you" and leave it at that. It's not her money, or her problem for that matter. It was an unnecessary comment.
You can do it! The Bees have faith in you!!
Good grief that was the rudest thing I have ever heard.
That is not right. It is no ones business what your budget is and to make a comment like that after basically forcing you to tell her something that you didn't want to share is just inappropriate. The next time she says something or asks something, just tell her that you don't feel comfortable discussing it with anyone other than your FI and leave it at that. How rude.
You will be able to pull of a magical wedding with that amount. Don't even let her comment stress you out about that.
Good luck. :)
@Meowkers: I would have said: "Thanks! You just saved me $150 (or whatever it was going to cost you to invite her)" Then walked out and removed her from my guest list.
In the future, I would keep wedding talk with her to a minimum. People get very weird around weddings. If you feel uncomfortable telling her information just say so and that should be that.
i would tell her "well, if you gave me a raise i could move it up a bit"
My budget is under 6K... and I'm very proud of it.. Should I be ashamed that i've figured a way to have a classy wedding for less? I never tell anyone my budget anyway. No one has even asked me that before
You can have a beautiful, wonderful wedding on pretty much any budget. Because what matters is you marrying the love of your life. Ignore her!
Not cool. She never should have asked - that is totally crossing the line.
As for her comment though, don't take it personally. I think I would have responded with, "Well, pay me more money and then I can have a larger wedding budget!"
Your boss was way out of line to say that! A similar thing happened to me, before I was even engaged the women in my office, our manager and I were talking about weddings since one of the girls had just got married and we knew a ring was on its way for me. I brought up how its crazy how expensive weddings can be especially to someone who never looked into these expenses before and was questioning in general how people afford weddings. Note that during all of this, a prospective budget for my wedding had never been brought up or discussed, after my comment about how people afford weddings, my office manager looked at me and said, people like you, just have something little and nice and thats all you need.
I was shocked! People like me? What exactly are people like me? I just let it go b/c it was work. But I was really hurt. Just because I pay for what I have and my education doesn't mean anything or make me a different type of people. Turns out the budget my fiance and I came up with for our wedding is many times higher than we thought we could of had in the beginning and as much as I want to tell my manager, its none of her business.
I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I think budgets are just one of those things that should remain between those involved (now if she were planning a wedding and wanted the info as a reference, it'd be different).
My coworker asked me how much I was paying for my venue, and that made me incredibly uncomfortable. But I told her anyways... 
@bells: I meant absolutely no offense by mentioning the 5K amount. I think you can have a gorgeous wedding on any budget. I was just throwing a random number out there.
I was shocked at how much a wedding these days can cost, so FI and I talked it out and decided what we can afford. I am amazed at how many people think that type of question is ok! A friend of ours asked FI flat out how much our wedding is going to cost...if you're not intending to contribute, why should that matter to you at all? I feel like as a bride-to-be, it puts you in an awkward position. If you answer, you'll probably get criticized for being too cheap/too extravagant, but if you don't answer, you're a rude bridezilla. I like what Niki8911 suggested, but even that makes me feel like the rude one...when it's a rude question to start with. I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels bad/awkward about this.
I had a similar experience at Kleinfelds which I found similarly offensive. My bridal consultant asked about my dress budget and when I told her about my budget and my wedding plans said something to the effect of "do you really think you should be spending that much on the dress?" As if to imply that I was being unrealistic about my budget!
Yes, it turns out I AM an adult and have decided this is how much I want to spend on a dress!
I was fuming!
I walked out of the dressing room and told my sister/bridesmaid that I wanted to leave and to make up an excuse for us to get out of there ASAP.
i had one of my BMs ask me how much everything was costing and it made me a bit uncomfortable. i think partly because i know she makes more money than me AND she is always asking how much things cost. i am not sure why, maybe she lacks some basic social etiquette skills.....actually, 5 years ago, i remember the first time she came over to my FI's apartment (then BF), she asked HIM what his rent was! because she couldn't get over he had such a nice apartment for a graduate student!!! i could never get over rude that was! now i just expect it from her i guess.
i would have responded with "why? are you contributing?"
Totally inappropriate for your BOSS to ask you those questions.
I never discuss our budget with people. If people ask, I say, "oh, millions, it seems."
I HATE when people ask personal questions like that. If she's not footing the bill, it's none of her darn business!!!!
I don't think I would have responded. I can't stand when people can't take a hint. . .your initial comment was an extremely polite way of telling her you didn't wish to share, and unfortunately she didn't get it.
That's like when people ask what someone paid for their house or how much their e-ring was! WHO CARES?!?!?!
Wow. Rude! If she says anything further, just say "wow, are you willing to help us pay?" That might get the oint across!
Hey ladies, just keep in mind- in some cultures asking what people paid for things is totally normal and not rude at all! I would not take it personally!
wow my budget is £2500 and i am going to do it end of story and if anyone else has a problem with it they can go jump in a puddle cause i am beyond caring now
no matter how good your relationship is / was with your boss thats a rude question and an even worse response
but hey plan your wedding for your budget and just show her it can be done end of
lolly xx
I'd be asking that boss of yours for a RAISE then, since she thought your budget was so inadequate! Sorry that happened to you, OP. She totally overstepped her bounds. You totally do not need a gigantic budget to make a beautiful, special, amazing wedding and everyone (except her) knows that. So rude!
@zippylef: Oh goodness keep those people away from me, I can't imagine what they'd say about my budget!!!
While it isn't anyone's business of course we all know that people are nosey and they judge. My grandmother has tried to have her hands in everything including knowing how much everything costs. Anytime I mention "oh we have that already" her next question is "how much?" I try to side step the issue by stating it cost "enough."No one is helping us with our wedding so frankly I don't know why they are so concerned, it isn't like they are contributing or we are spending their money!
@Meowkers: I would have said, watch me do it! It's not her business at all what you are spending on your wedding and I wouldn't have told her in the first place. (Not bashing you as it may sound when you read the comment. :) I would have just said, I am not sure of the total and I need to get back to work..)
i get mixed responses to my budget, i'm quiet open to telling people, i get the good luck mine cost triple that and we could have spent more, and wow can you really do it for that little lol, to me £4000 isn't a little amount of money at all, but mainly i get if i could do it all over again i wouldn't have spent as much as i did i think you've got the right approach.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| kate02121 | 12 |
| ndreighton | 11 |
| rivierabridal | 6 |
| ozpeony | 4 |
| bonkeyball3 | 4 |
| cbeyelia | 4 |
| mcdonald_515 | 4 |
 turtles73 |
4 |
| jaguar | 3 |
| BMORE SEXI | 3 |
Sorry, there are no users yet.
So I just have to get this off my chest because it's been bothering me for days. My boss and I have a very cool relationship. She's my mom's age and we are a lot a like so we constantly talk about personal life stuff and I consider her a professional mentor as well. So from time to time she asks me about how the wedding planning is going and about details like the venues we're looking at and generally what we want and what we are planning.
Well, the other day she asked me what our wedding budget was! I got very uncomfortable because seriously, that is no one's business but mine, FI's and our families'. So I gave the non committal answer of "we have a range but no hard and fast budget." I thought that would be the end of it. But she pushed further and said "oh just give me an idea of what the low end of the range is." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
I felt soooo uncomfortable and frankly didn't know how to respond except to tell her. So i told her our low end number and her response was "good luck! if you can pull of a wedding for that amount then you should be a wedding planner because that would be a miracle." I seriously almost cried and I'm a really tough cookie. I can't believe that someone would ever say something like that. She made me feel sooo inadequate. Now this is besides the point but for what it's worth our budget is fairly high for the national and local average although it's by no means platinum wedding status. But seriously, even if i told her our budget was $5K how dare she say something like that.
I just responded that my friend had 50 more guests than we're expecting and a smaller budget and pulled of an amazing wedding so i'm not worried, then i turned around and walked out of her office.
It's days later and i'm still fuming about it so I just wanted to get it off my chest.
Has anyone ever made rude or inappropriate comments to you about your budget? How did you handle it?