Post # 1
I’m going to do this as short as I can…
- Girl cousin volunteered her BF’s hair styling services to me and my BMs as a “wedding gift”.
- I find out hair trial needs to be paid for which I did because I thought it was so nice that they will do all our hair.
- Hair trial was a flop; and, I find out he was only doing my hair on the day of my wedding. (They took back the gift!)
- I can’t reach her BF and he takes days to get back to me. And, he never replied to my last text.
- I finally decided that maybe I should just decline the offer and politely said that I was grateful but didn’t want to inconvenient them and would love them to attend as guests.
- Girl cousin texts me to tell me I’m ungrateful so I should accept the offer.
- Now she is going around telling people how I wronged her; she also bashed my FI calling him “cheap” for having a small wedding; and, she is no longer going to the wedding with her bf (he refuses to do anything that has to do with me) but coming with a girl friend.
I want nothiing to do with my cousin but I’m afraid she will crash the wedding if I disinvite her. What should I do?
Post # 3
@mnp: This is a small spat that you shouldn’t disinvite her over. No matter what, she’ll always be family.
Post # 4
@StuporDuck: *sigh* She has been bad mouthing my mom and little sister as well. And, she also insulted my father once. Ehh…I feel bad that she is so bitter but seriously, she needs a filtering system. // I’ll see how I feel in the AM.
Post # 5
I don’t think this is worth disinviting her. It would be more drama than it’s worth. Just get your hair done somewhere else and don’t let her bug you. Ask your friends and family to quit telling you what she says. Not worth the drama.
Post # 6
@mnp: See, now you’re including information that Jules didn’t already have… but I still agree with her, she is family. Don’t disinvite her. Trust me, 10 years from now people won’t remember that she was rude to your family, they’ll only remember that you disinvited her to your wedding, unless they were directly involved. I’ve seen it happen first hand…
As for the wedding gift… “I find out hair trial needs to be paid for which I did because I thought it was so nice that they will do all our hair.” So did you pay for the hair trial or did you assume the hair trial would be free?
So the BF said he was only going to do your hair after all, and you end up saying no thank you to the gift. From their perspective it could seem like you declined the gift because he wasn’t good enough and/or he wasn’t giving you a “good” deal. Not saying you DID, just saying it could be viewed as such.
Post # 7
your cousin’s bf was possibly insulted for you decline the “gift” to do your hair. don’t disinvite her. just let things settle down. don’t add more fuel to the fire. as pp said, she is family and it will probably be forgotten in a few years anyways.
Post # 8
@SakuraBlossomBee: You’re absolutely right. People won’t remember why she was disinvited but that she just was.
They said that everything was “free”. I even offered to pay or tip the BF for offering but they declined that. However, as the hair trial date came closer, it became “Oh, you need to pay the salon for the hair trial. I wish you didn’t but since I’ll be working on you there.” BUT in the end, he worked at his apartment and I was gracious to tip him because my cousin told me that I should. *shrugs*
Oh, I didn’t tell him, “No, thank you” after finding out that he was only doing my hair. I only made the decision not to use him because I asked him to reschedule my hair appt. on my wedding day and he he never replied back. I gave him a week to respond and got nothing.
@mypinkshoes: I know it was insulting but he did a really, really bad job. He also didn’t reply to any of my texts about setting the date for the hair trial. It took 2 weeks to get a reply back to my text. I also found out that he bailed on an aquaintance’s wedding and sent a friend in his place.
I’ll be the bigger person and not disinvite her. I’m going to go get some ice cream to make this bad feeling go away.
Post # 9
@mnp: “Oh, I didn’t tell him, “No, thank you” after finding out that he was only doing my hair. I only made the decision not to use him because I asked him to reschedule my hair appt. on my wedding day and he he never replied back. I gave him a week to respond and got nothing.”
I figured you didn’t, because it seemed like there were other factors in your OP, but they could be looking at it that way. Sometimes people don’t realize where they dropped the ball and just think back to the most recent thing that “could” be.
Post # 10
I’d let her know that she’s welcome to come with a girl friend but you don’t appreciate her bad mouthing your family when they have nothing to do with this incident concerning her bf that flaked on you. If she continued to make a scene at the wedding then you would kindly have her and her friend escorted away from the party. It’s her call on how mature she’ll be acting.
I’d tell it to her face calmly and preferably with an audience of other family members. But that’s just me and my no nonsense attitude ^.~ It might cause more trouble XD
Post # 11
She seems to like drama, so just don’t add more fuel.
I’m sorry she’s causing stress for you, though. It’s probably for the best he was so flaky then. Now you can stress less and have someone less involved get the hair right.