Post # 1
Hello Hive… don’t know where this should go, so I put it here, but I guess it could fit under waiting or LDR too.
My SO just called and informed me that he will not be graduating in May like he had planned. He’s in graduate school right now, and somehow managed to miss a deadline for a part of his thesis!? WTF I don’t even know how someone would manage to do that! He said he didn’t know this thing was due so soon. It was due like a week ago and he just tried to turn it in today. They still accepted the proposal he turned in but he just won’t be able to actually graduate until August.
I’m really angry that he was that irresponsible, but I’m also upset because he lives 3 hours drive away from me right now, and when he graduated he was supposed to find a job so we could live in the same city finally. We’ve been LDR for 6 YEARS and I am so happy to have the distance part of it be over. He said he’s still going to try to get everything done by the end of the semester anyway, but he won’t have that physical piece of paper until August. Is he even going to be able to get the type of job he’s looking for (he majored in biomed eng), or is he going to be stuck a poor colllege student until August? If he practically has his degree will companies take him seriously?
I’m really ready to get on with the rest of our lives, and even if this only pushes things back a couple months, it still feels like an eternity because of the distance. Anyway, I just wanted to get that out and vent a bit. 🙁 I feel a little ridiculous for being so upset, and I’m sure none of my friends really understand.
Post # 3
I completely understand the frustration- I thought due to requirements I may be a later grad too, thankfully I did extra work to get back on time with my doctorate. 8 years is ENOUGH to be in higher ed. I’m graduating 2 weeks before our wedding (literally to the day), so it’s just stressful. I’m sure that’s what he’s experiencing too- he’s trying to be involved in your wedding and in his degree. Sometimes you just don’t realize.
Bottom line: It stinks, I’m sorry but I thought it might help to hear a grad-student’s perspective. I hope it helps, even a little.
Post # 4
It depends on the company if they want to wait til he has actual degree or not..don’t be too hard on him I’m freaking out about taking my law school admissions test..I want to apply as early as possible to schools so I get the best shot, but I have no clue when to take “entrance” exam..He’s probably freaking out right now too so be his support..he loves you and i’m sure wants to be with you and get things moving along so just don’t nag him and be there for him..he’s hurting just as much as you are!
Post # 5
We’ve been ldr 6 years too – 3 hours flight. Writing a thesis is hard and advisors insist on it being perfect – perfection doesn’t always fit into a time frame. You also have to turn in your thesis weeks before the end of the quarter generally to graduate that quarter, which doesn’t make much sense and is really easy to miss. On the other hand, as soon as it’s in you’re “graduated” (and I got a piece of paper to prove it) even though it doesn’t say it on your transcript until the end of the next quarter. It really shouldn’t matter for a job. I started my job August 1, even though technically I got my PhD in September. I was done and that’s what mattered. It’s not like undergrad at all. I’m sure that if he finds a job that wants him they won’t care. Really don’t stress about this and don’t hold it against him. Just be glad you’ll be together soon.
Post # 6
thank you for putting this in perspective a little! I’m not in grad school and have never been. It’s a different world than undergrad. Good to hear that he might still be able to go on as planned.
@azinaugust – I wish we were actually planning the wedding, I’m just trying to get to the same city at this point 🙂
@rachelss – “Writing a thesis is hard and advisors insist on it being perfect – perfection doesn’t always fit into a time frame.” This is what was happening partly, and I guess he lost track of the deadline with all the back and forth.
ugh, i feel so selfish, I know he’s working hard, but I’m still frustrated. i didn’t really say much to him, he knows I was upset but I’m not really nagging him about it.
Post # 7
This totally sucks. I actually am all too familiar with this same scenario. My Fiance and I are currently about 9 hours apart (he moved about 2 months ago for his job) and I am scheduled to graduate about 2 weeks before our wedding. BUT up until about a week ago, I didnt know if i was going to actually be able to graduate in August which would have been HORRIBLE considering the wedding is in August.
Anyways, I know it sucks, but im sure he is JUST as upset about it as you are. School is soo hard, and I can’t imagine how Grad school would be. I see his side because thats where I was and I felt TERRIBLE when I thought I wouldnt be able to graduate mainly because I knew it would break FI’s heart if we had to push back the wedding AND spend another 5 months apart. So, moral of story, i’m sure he is beating himself up about it and he wants to be with you just as bad as you wanna be with him.
Keep your head up! and as much as it sucks, in the long run of life what’s another 3 months? right?! haha I hope everything works out tho!
Post # 8
I understand about graduating late! My Fiance graduated about 6 months after we thought he would due to miscommunications about requirements. It pushed back me moving closer as well because I wanted him to be completely done with school before I moved. It’s worked out for the best though and as tough as it is, 6 more months won’t kill you!