Post # 1
I dropped my SO and his friend off at a party last night, and when my SO came home (just before 3am), he was drunk and in a foul mood, said the night was s**t and that he didn’t want to talk about it – only to say that he doesn’t take kindly to disrespect and he ‘totally could have gone off’, but he didn’t. What the? I think he’s been laying awake on the couch all night, and when I got up, he was still in the same mood and still won’t talk about it. He’s gone back to bed, so I’m sitting up, wondering what the hell happened. Apparently it was nothing to do with me, but he’s in a bad mood with me! I was sitting at home all night, feeling sad and lonely (self imposed), looking forward to him coming home. Maybe it has nothing to do with me, but I feel like he’s taking it out on me and giving me no explanation why. I gather he had a drunken argument with someone – not sure who or what about…
Just needed to get it off my chest. I’ve been feeling really emotionally fragile lately, so I’m taking everything personally 🙁
Post # 3
There’s really not a lot you can do about this until he comes around. I usually let Darling Husband know “I know I can’t make you feel better, but it hurts me to see you like this. Help me understand.” He usually acknowledges his grumpiness & opens up. If your SO is not that kind of guy… its really out of your hand.
Post # 4
Give him time. Some people need a few days to process their emotions. Don’t take it personally for now and resist asking him about it again. He’ll come around.
Post # 5
Ugh I hate it when this happens. I just wish he would open up so that I could try to make him feel better. PPs have it right though- give him time and hopefully he will open up and come out of his grumpy mood.
Post # 6
If you guys usually have pretty good communication when he’s ready he’ll talk to you about it. If not, you’ll have to prod him more to find out what happened.
BUT either way, give him some time.
Post # 7
oh Darling Husband is sometimes a bit like this. He will say “im incredibly angry, but its not about you” but thenm he needs to be left alone until hes ready to talk about it. and if i ask him anything like “do you want dinner” he replies in monosyllables
i used to take it personally until we had a great talk about it, and he said that he needs time to process it and it avoids the temptation to take it out on me/pick mini fights about other things just cause he’s in fighting mode. and he says he doesnt want to do that. maybe your SO is same way
give it a day and try not to pressure him.and when he calms down have a good talk about why he’s mad and what you both expect when the other is angry/ for me, i asked that he just say something like ‘i love you and im not angry at you but i need to be alone right now” so i dont stew
Post # 8
He’s just gotten up again. I asked if he was okay, and he said ‘I’m fine’, I asked if he wanted to talk about it, he said no. I asked if he will want to talk about it, he said no. I’m feeling completely shut out and frustrated, especially because he’s moping around like there is a problem, but I’m not allowed to know what it is. He won’t even tell me who he had the issue with! I can probably safely assume that it was the friend I dropped him off with (they’ve argued before and SO felt disrespeced), but why oh why won’t he talk about it?! 🙁
Post # 9
@Deejayelle: Give him space. I would let him know that I am there if he changes his mind and wants to talk and then tell him I love him very much. Then I wouldn’t ask about it again. Hopefully he will get his head out of his ass and come around.
Post # 10
I agree about giving him space, but if he continues to act moody with you I would just say “I understand you are upset about whatever happened and you don’t have to talk about it, but please don’t be disrespectful toward me when I’m not the source of your anger.” It’s not fair for you to have to deal with an attitude just because he’s upset.
Post # 11
@ThatOneGirl9613: +1. OP – if he dosent come around on his own soon and keeps taking it out on you then you should definitely tell him straight up how it is making you .