Vent- Stop telling me what to do for my pregnancy!!

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I say: snap at her next time!
You’re allowed to be snippy anytime you need to be – and your new excuse: it’s the pregnancy hormones (right? haha)

Sounds like she’s really earning it!

Post # 4
3 posts
  • Wedding: November 2013

The only annoying advice I got so far was from my MIL when I was five weeks. she told me that because my husband was allergic to everything & couldn’t breast feed as a child I should/need to just start the baby on soy formula right away. Pretty sure that’s the worst advice ever.  I know she didn’t mean anything but it really irked me.

Post # 5
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Wow she’s nuts, she hasn’t even been pregnant so how the hell does she know what are good books and what’s safe to take? Jesus, I’ve never been pregnant (fingers crossed soon though!) and I would NEVER tell someone what to do during their pregnancy, it’s just not my place or anyones really.

Next time she voices her opinion I would just say “P, I really don’t need the advice” if she doesn’t stop, I’d snap and say in what universe would I take advice from someone who hasn’t been pregnant. That should shut her the F up.

Maybe wear this to work:

Post # 6
5533 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Evie19:  To p’s credit,  depon amd Tylenol are the same medication,  just named differently. Both are acetaminophen.  But then again, why does dhe care if you take a different brand of it and why would she think you care what she thinks??

Post # 7
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Evie19:  Lol love the onsie.

The more you try to justify your reasonings to people, the more defensive they are going to get.

For instance, I told my MIL I wasn’t using crib bumpers. She immediately got snappy and was like, “What ‘s wrong with bumpers?!” I should have just said, “I am just not using them” and left it alone. But instead I started explaining the increased risk of SIDS and other research that I had been doing and she came flaming back at me with, “Well, it’s a good thing [DH and his sister] didn’t die then!” She has defended a whole host of crap, but this is the one that stands out in my mind.

I’ve stopped justifying my reasoning to people and just say, “Thanks for the opinion” or “Thanks. I’ll take it into consideration” and just move on. I found people WANT to argue because everyone likes to justify why they’re right (especially if they already had kids and you’re a new mom), and honestly, more than likely, those people already think they’re right and won’t change their mind even if you have 5 billion studies that prove that they are wrong.

Post # 8
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, with people like that it’s easier to just “yes” them instead of trying to argue/defend yourself.  Just say, oh thanks for the info that’s good to know or I’ll have to check that out. Then go about your business as usual.  Unsolicited advice is a part of life (esp pregnancy and motherhood).  You’ll go insane if you get upset over every thing someone says.

Post # 9
4941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Evie19:  Ugh, I’m 26 weeks and I TOTALLY get this! People telling me what I can and can’t do, especially at work. My MIL is especially bad, but thank goodness we don’t live near her. 

Next time anyone tries to say anything, just nod, smile, and walk away. It’s your body, not theirs. You know what’s best for you and your baby, not them. Fighting people is not even worth your time, and I’ve discovered it happens ALL the time when you’re pregnant. 

Post # 10
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Evie19:  I go to the etiquette website Miss Jeanine and she once wrote about how to deal with boorish people.

You can try phrases liek ” how kind of you to notice” or “what an interesting assumption” or “thank you for your concern” and leave it there.

You don’t owe “P” and explanation for anything. She is being rude. I had a cowoker like her who would criticize everyting I ate at work. I would just say “My liscensed medical doctor and I have discussed my diet. She is fine with it.”


Post # 12
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@megz06:  +100000 This. Exactly this.

@Evie19:  I love the onesie!

I’m not pregnant and (hopefully) won’t be for a few years, so my advice may not be quite as useful. That said, I think most people fall into one of two mindsets – about pregnancy and offering advice on anything:

1. They just want to argue about something.

2. They honestly think that they are helping.

For both categories, I recommend just smiling sweetly and thanking them for their advice. You don’t have to justify yourself or your decisions to anyone because, at the end of the day, you are going to be the momma and you need to make decisions that feel right for you. Hope you have a wonderful and happy pregnancy!

Post # 13
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

So irritating. No advice…just sympathy. I’m not looking forward to this part when I make the news public. 

Post # 14
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Evie19:  +1! Unsolicited advice is SO annoying. And where did you see that onesie? I want one!

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