Weddingbee boards

Sooo I have never been particularly fond of her. But never made that overtly clear- until today.

Soo her bf is a douche bag dumbfuk idiot, but it's not about him (though I can now see why they're a match made in heaven). So we all know we all need help- set up, take down, etc on the wedding day misc. tasks- you know how it is. I'm not being demanding on anyone but I am asking for a little bit of help from quite a few people instead of a ton of help from just a few.

My mom, aunt, brothers and a few friends are all on the helpers list. That's fantastic. I ask FSIL to help out not 15 mintues ago. Her response: prob not, I'm gonna be hammered. I ask "Seriously?" She's like yeah... I'm like your mom, and my brothers are helping... girl, that's lame. She says: Yeah, well I'm lame. Then it goes to shit.

I type a nasty little message "Wow... just wow" on my BBM (yes, it's visable to her). And her response is harder jab of: "Why would I help someone I'm forced to like?"

After that I deleted her off my phone. No response on my side for fear I'd freak on her ass and flip right the f**k out.

I've given her so many chances in my head to prove to me why I might be able to like her. I don't know if I can get over this epic fail.

Ahhh, end vent. That does feel real good to get out.

Disclaimer: yeah I know my little jab was childish but it's been 20 minutes and I still don't regret it! (usually I would already)

LOL "too drunk  to make the wedding" thing is she keeps messaging shit like: "open bar? SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET I'm gonna get hammered"

*face palm*

I know what she said is rude but atleast she is telling you now she isnt going to help then you be counting on her to help then she is too drunk to help with anything.

Indeed this is true... Can't wait to tell the bar staff to cut off the little drunk fool.

@jjmomma: Nahhh, they don't (nor do I).

She's made a nasty comment about me before (through BBM) She and I were chatting civially, I might add. She was upset her mom seemed to love us more than her and her bf... and when I was telling her no... she loves all her children including you blah blah blah she says oh you'll never know what it's like you're not family and you never will be. Then posts "blood is thicker than water" (clearly for me to see.) So yeah, this was just the final straw.

I know she hates me know for fact. Oh well, I'll be the grown up from this point on :P

I don't have the cleanest language but am still finding the title of this post offensive. Honestly it had me thinking negative before I even read the post, and even then the first thing that came to my mind was that it really shouldn't be your family's responsibility to setup stuff and take it down, that's what I hired a day of coordinator for. Then again, I'd be lying if I said I didn't need help with anything, but that was just from my parents and thye had volunteered to help with a couple of things. But I guess that's really not even the issue, her attitude towards you is.

Yeah, she started it...which is pretty childish, but really the whole exchange sounds pretty childish. I agree that she is baiting you, good plan to go back to being the grown up and don't feed into her games.

@ashleyyyg: So that they can enjoy the day too instead of working (I realize OP said it will just be a bit of work that's why she's asking more people to cut down the amount of work, but I'm speaking in general terms). Plus a DOC does this every weeken,d it's their job, so they are experts and I knew everything would be setup perfectly while I got to relax with those closest to me - I never would of been able to do that without my DOC. Looks like we're both having/had Michigan weddings, coordinators are actuall quite popular here on local boards for MI most of the girls have booked a coordinator.

But like I said, not the real issue of this post...sorry about your FSIL, OP =(

@Pinksapphire: I'm aware not everyone can afford it. I had to do some budget cuts to make it happen to, but I even said in my post that was beside the point and not the real issue her, FSIL's attitude is.

I'm not hiring DOC, not becuase I can't afford one, but because around here it's not the norm, and the few that I've been told about have been completely useless, so I don't even "believe" in them per se.

She is not obligated to help, like I said, I asked her kindly if she would. She made a lame excuse (I'm going to be hammered). In my world getting hammered isn't a reason enough not to lend a helping hand. Regardless of how drunk I'm going to get, isn't the issue, nor the focus. Nearly all of us would agree that the bride nor the groom should be 'working' to put together our day, we rely on friends and family to help us. I would ABSOULELY step up should she get married. Most for sure if she asked. And I would never consider using "drinking" as an excuse not to.

Though... my opinion has since changed and I don't think I will lift a finger to help her, but before today it wasn't even a question as to if I would or not.

Either way, the little B is out of my life (as much as humanly possible). Civil I will be, her family, I will not be.

And for whomever said regardless of how she feels about ME, this day isn't MINE, it's her beloved brothers too (they're really close). So you would think she'd be willing to step up for him, but apparently it's about not wanting to help me only.

Funny, I'm really still not regretting what I said! Usually I totally feel a twinge of guilt! I must have been totally truthful to myself, and not spoken out of sheer anger.

@Pinksapphire: LOL that post made me laugh. She's not that "young" either. She's 21 I think? So she's not like a little 15 year old. But whatever, she's acting a lot younger than I thought she would.

I deleted her BBM so I can't possibly make another snarky attack on her, nor can I see her most like "you're not blood" comments that she likely has up! So vmec, is- and shall continue to be the big grown up going forward. FSIL is a guest, not family (in my eyes) and will recive 0 special attention least from me.

@vmec:

@Pinksapphire:

Okay guys, I made one comment/possible suggestion, and then moved along three times already (or attempted to) saying it wasn't the point of the post. Let's not make this about DOCs because it's not what the OP asked about. If I could go back and edit my first post I would, but I can't.

@smyley: I must respond to this. Before last night, we had never not 'liked' eachother. She confided in me about her mom and her feelings and I attempted to make her feel better. In fact we appeared to get along quite nicely. I've hung out with her alone before as well. So I had zero idea she "liked me only because she had too..." So that's why I asked. I felt like she was happy enough for us, especially her brother to want to help us make our big day happen. God, I couldn't have been further from the truth.

I have no idea if that's how she feels. She could be jealous, she could be thinkingg she's losing him.  But whatever she feels, she has completely lost me and I'm not interested in ever hearing out. Saying you like me because you have to is never something you can take back. Civil, I can be friends is never.