*VENT* Surprised Hubby for B-Day, DH Can't Even Say Thanks

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

….TBH, I don’t even keep to myself and I would be uncomfortable with that much of a big deal over my birthday. And I freakin. love. my. birthday.

I’m not saying this to be bitchy, but sometimes the gift you would want for yourself isn’t necessarily what someone else would want, Maybe you overwhelmed him?

Post # 4
2751 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

🙁 I’m sorry.  Maybe he’ll thank you at the end of the day? If not, I would definitely talk to him about it later. 

Post # 5
5781 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think if he’s a keep-to-himself kind of guy, all that showy stuff made him really uncomfortable at a minimum, or maybe even mad for not respecting his private-guy ways. Maybe next year, a quiet weekend at a B&B or a casual dinner with some close friends (and no singing waiters) would get a better reception.

ETA: maybe undo that call-off for tomorrow. That is really over-reaching and a lot of people would be very pissed off by that. I know I would. It’s creepy and controlling.

Post # 6
47 posts

See how he acts when he gets home. He was probably surprised and a bit embarassed by all the hoopla especially in front of his work colleagues… especially if, like you say, he is a bit on the quiet side.


Dont take it personally… Im sure he will thank you properly when he gets home.


Im a pretty extroverted person but I think even I would have been embarrassed by balloons and writing on my car and then a surprise gift at work!


He was probably just overwhelmed.

Post # 7
1356 posts
Bumble bee

I think you embaressed him and he didn’t know what to do.  You said right away that he keeps to himself.  I would say make note of this and don’t do it again.  He probably would have preferred a private gift at home or a card to open in private. 

Post # 8
25 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014

LittlePumpkin:  I’d have to guess, yes, you embarrassed him. Don’t feel bad! I’m sure he’ll be back to himself at home. I don’t mind PDA but definitely NOT at work. I hate even kissing my FI at work when he occasionally drops me off.

I’m sorry you’re feelings are hurt. I know how that goes– when you go out of your way to be thoughtful and pamper someone and it isn’t well recieved. But, you said “he is not one for PDA and mushy stuff AT ALL” and while what you did was sweet, it was quite mushy 🙂 Also, some people really don’t like attention on their bdays. Is he like that?

Post # 9
6632 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Um you probably embrassed the hell out of him and I can see why he acted like that.  If he is a keep to him self thing the last thing he would want is a huge show of balloons/gifts/kisses at the office which by the way is sorta inappropriate anyway

Post # 12
2385 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You either embaressed him or he’s having a not so great day at work. I enjoy my birthdays as well, but that much surprises would make me a little awkward & uncomfortable in front of my co-workers. On the other hand even if I was comfortable with all those surprises I feel like it’s a little inappropriate at the workplace… 

Or he’s just having a shitty work day and it falling on your birthday makes it even worse and would put anyone in a bad mood, awesome surprises or not… 

Post # 13
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

I don’t think you made such a huge ruckus as to cause embarassment. The decorations and things for his car…who is going to see that? Do people sit out in the parking lots and notice each other’s vehicles? And visiting him at work to give him some treats and some balloons doesn’t seem crazy and over the top to me, but a sweet gesture that yes, should have warranted at least a hug if he was too shy for a public kiss. You didn’t involve his co-workers, sing happy birthday or decorate his cubicle or anything of that sort, so I do think you’re justified in feeling hurt and even if he was a little taken aback, should have had the manners to at least give a proper thank you. A basket filled with candies and coffess and sentimental gifts is sweet, low-key and not asking for the entire world to come shower him with attention.

Wait and see if he says thank you tonight, but if he doesn’t I DO think you should say something. Just be careful in choosing your words so it doesn’t sound like you’re accusing him of anything but rather explaining how you feel instead.

Edit: I’m also surprised that many people think it’s innappropriate. At our office we go all out for birthdays, decorating cubicles, ordering lunch, cupcakes or pie and even gifts. We have about 9 of us in this one building and it’s all pretty much accepted. It sounds like his office is also pretty similar when it comes to the laid backness factor.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  TwinkleBoss.
Post # 14
4147 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My DH is the same – He would be mortified if I decorated his windows like that or showed up to work with balloons and a basket of goodies and tried to kiss him.  I tried to have a surprise birthday party for his 25th (with just his close friends and family) and he found out about it and asked me to please cancel it all.  I was sad because I love birthdays, but it was that moment that I realized I wasn’t taking his feelings into consideration and I have to respect that.

Sorry, but as his wife, you should know and realize that these types of public displays of affection/attention make him uncomfortable and not be upset with how he’s reacted.

Post # 14
602 posts
Busy bee

Uh, yea, you definitely embarassed him. The gift is very thoughtful but it should have been waiting for him when he got home. My husband and I work together so I know all of his co-workers and even I wouldn’t bring his birthday shit to work. Also, I really don’t think calling out for your husband was a good idea. I’m surprised his boss was okay with that.

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