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I'm going to hope for your sake that there's some massive revalation coming in the very near future that makes you say, "Oh, well NOW I understand! Good reason! All is forgiven!"
... But I doubt it. I don't understand weekday weddings in general and DWs in particular. It's the most difficult to deal with because (IMO) if we all know that weddings can be an inconvenience even under the best of circumstances, it's that much more intrusive on a working/schooling day.
All I can say is good luck, and I sincerely hope your professors are flexible!
@MightySapphire: What's the destination? For most resort weddings it tends to be mid-week. If it's not a resort wedding and just a regular venue then that sucks!!
Las Vegas. Not even a place I want to pay to go to. Mother Effing Las Vegas.
It's just a personal taste thing, but I really hate Las Vegas. My experiences there have colored my opinion. If it was Jamaica or Hawaii or somewhere I consider NICE I probably would have less of a problem with it (although still a problem). There are cities/places in the world that some people just hate, and for me that loathesome location is Las Vegas.
@MightySapphire: That really sucks :(. Especially since it's not like you can't have a Vegas wedding on a weekend! It's frustrating when weddings are on the weekend to save the couple money, but it ends up costing their guests a ton in lost work time. It's kind of a personal pet peeve of mine.
I totally understand how you're feeling, though. I had to miss a close cousin's wedding because it was a semi-DW afternoon wedding on a Monday or a Tuesday and I would have had to miss finals senior year. :(
Hum, well.... not gonna lie. That would peeve me, too. That is a lot to ask people to do on a Tuesday.... I, like you, have impossible Tuesdays. I feel bad enough making people travel for a Saturday.....
That's strange that the wedding is domestic and its midweek. Must be really cheaper? Does it follow a holiday Monday?
@MightySapphire: I'm not a Vegas fan either, but I live here and have found ways to make it bearable. I posted this on another thread to a girl looking for suggestions on what to do while here, maybe this will help make your stay suck less.
"I know you've seen most of the must-see items. As far as clubs/lounges, VooDoo Lounge at the Rio is fun, though MixLounge at Mandalay Bay also has a great view with an outside portion and it's less crazy and a bit cheaper. Do yourself a favour and get bottle service if you do go to a club or lounge. Mandalay also has Shark Reef, a cool aquarium exhibit. Take a walk through MGM if you get a chance and check out the lions! Mirage has a dolphin habitat. I love walking through Crystals Mall at City Center, the architecture and use of space is cool, but everything is super expensive and designer, Fashion Show Mall has more reasonable prices if you wanted to go shopping.
Check out Fremont Street. It's old Vegas, and they have a Zip-Line so you can fly about the street. LA Comedy Club in the Four Queens on Fremont that is really reasonably priced with pretty good comedians. If you get a chance to take a drive off strip and like hiking at all Red Rock is BEAUTIFUL. Take a day trip to Lake Las Vegas. If you like country music, Stoney's Rockin' Country is a huge country bar, they do line dancing and such."
Hope that helps.
Edit: Forgot to say, I'm with you, weekday weddings aren't my favourite.
Hopefully they have a good reason. Unless you "have" to have the wedding in the middle of the week, I can't see why you'd want to.
DH and I were married on a Tuesday. If we had waited until the weekend to get married, DH and I would have had less than a week together before he had to leave and go back to where he was stationed. So, we opted to be married earlier in the week so we could have a few more days together. I'm sure we inconvenienced some people, but at that point, I really didn't care because all I wanted was a few extra days with my "husband" before he had to leave again.
Did they not offer the info (date, etc) when they asked your DH to be best man? It just seems odd they didn't give anyone a heads up before the invites went out.
@heather25: They actually had to switch venues already because it turns out it isn't cheaper at all, so they had to scale down. (Wouldn't you check something like that BEFORE you send out invites??) The Monday before isn't a holiday. I thought about that and if that Monday was a holiday, it would make some sense why they would go with a Tuesday. It's actually a week AFTER a major holiday.
Our wedding is on a tuesday ::hangs head in shame::
hehe... Its during spring break though and my FI and I are both teachers. We have a lot of family on both sides that are teachers, also. I'm sure there will be some people who will complain, but they dont have to come :P lol
How far from vegas do you live?
@MightySapphire: I would be calling them up and telling them to switch dates (But I am rude). Seriously, do they just want people not to come to their wedding. That being said, midweek hotel prices are rock bottom compared to the weekends so that should be good. If you stay til Sunday and go to the Sterling Buffet at Bally's please let me know how it is. I am dying to have perrier jouet poured into my mouth.
I know some very religious Jewish weddings take place on Tuesday sometimes (although more often than not, Sunday) but if its in Vegas, then its probably not a religious Jewish wedding :P
Where are you staying in Vegas? I would stay somewhere nice and maybe that would improve your experience. I got engaged in Las Vegas and it was my first trip, so I'm obviously partial lol. But we stayed in a spa suite in a really nice hotel, and it made the already amazing trip, that much more amazing! Go to a nice dinner at Bouchon in the Venetian - one of my favorite restaraunts!!
@heather25: lol. The buffet at the Bellagio was amazing. And the all-seafood buffet at Rio. Best parts of vegas, hands down. (can you tell I'm a poor student and rarely gamble? ;) )
Weddings are not mandatory events. Personally, i love me a good Tuesday.
Do you have to go? I know your hubby does, can he fly in that afternoon and fly out the morning after? That is really inconvenient...never heard of a destination wedding being on a weekday...
I personally love Vegas...BUT if it's not for you, what a pain in the BUTT!
@Aure: Thanks for the tips! I'll be alone with the baby most of the time while DH is B-partying it up with the groom, so thank you!!
@JsDragonfly: I guess that's why I'm mad. If there was a reason for it I wouldn't be upset. But it seems like they chose the date without thinking at all about the impact it would have on their budget or guests.
@atalante: The groom told DH the date a while back, but he just gave me a month. The invites finally arrived this week and I started to structure a plan and realized that they are asking us to be there Thursday before the wedding through the wedding reception Tuesday evening. I had to triple check the calendar because I couldn't believe that was what they were asking of people.
@petitfour: I can totally understand a Spring Break wedding. That is convenient for you and your FI and many of your guests! :-) We're about five hours from Vegas (I think). It's just long enough that we have to actually stay there.
holy guacamole, you have to take off thurs, fri, mon, tues, wed?
NOT OK...I probably wouldn't go...
It would be a major statement if I didn't attend. And I like the groom enough not to want him to have to deal with his FI nagging him about what a b**** I am for not coming to their wedding. It's a little complicated because she RSVPed yes to my wedding, then told me a week before that she wasn't coming. We didn't have a huge wedding in the first place, so the empty seat next to my DH's best man was awkward. I have seen her once since then and was cordial, but we aren't friends anymore. I'm nice because I have to be and to keep her FI from getting nagged. So if I didn't go she would just think I was "getting back at her" for not attending my wedding. No matter how inconvenient this is for me, if I don't go she will assume it is because I don't like her or that I disapprove of their marriage or something.
DH has to arrive Thursday for some reason, then they are doing something on Friday, drunken bachelor party Saturday, sobering up on Sunday, Monday rehearsal dinner, and Tuesday wedding. It's driving distance, so we would probably just drive rather than fly (especially with the baby and all her stuff) and since we would be driving it is more convenient if I go with him rather than take two cars.
ETA-Geez, yeah it looks like we'll be gone a whole week!
@MightySapphire: You're welcome! Could he possibly fly in on Thursday and then you drive up and meet him Sunday or Monday? This way you only have one car, you're not stuck here for 5 days and you can both drive back together?
Oh my gosh. I know two cars is more convenient, but I can't imagine being in Vegas as an adult for a whole week (I'm usually done after 4 days, even with the super buffets). With a baby? Wow.
Can your hubby ride with anyone, and maybe you can join him for the super important stuff the last few days?
A Tuesday destination wedding is inconvenient enough, IMO.
But they want you to be there from Thursday until after the Tuesday wedding?!? Are they serious? I can't even fathom giving up a week for someone else's wedding (since you'd be through through at least Wednesday morning).
I find it really strange that your DH is in the wedding and the Best Man and you had no prior notice or heads up. Did they not tell you in advance like when he was asked to be the Best Man about the potential location and week day date?
How much notice were you given?
@Mrs.KMM: I wouldn't have such an issue if it could be coupled with another weekend. Like asking you to be there Monday through Sunday. There is still the weekend before that you could couple it up and make the most of taking time off. But doing it midweek means I will be at work the day before I travel and the day after, and that just sucks.
But I think what we'll do is have DH drive out on Thursday with the baby's travel gear in the car. I have alternate cars I can use at home, and that way he won't have to rent a car. Then I'll fly out with the baby on Monday morning and we'll attend the rehearsal dinner and wedding. Then we'll drive back Wednesday morning. Then I'm only missing one Tuesday class.
Thanks so much for the support and advice! I couldn't think about it clearly before. :-)
I would have the hubby go with someone and only join him for the main event (the wedding) stating your school as the reason, so you still save face but don't have to be around the Bridezilla Bride...lol....good luck...Tuesdays for a wedding do suck...but maybe that's all they could afford...
I'm now terrified of what our guests who don't know it's our dating anniversary think about our Thursday wedding.
@Treejewel19: Like I said, the groom told my DH quite a while back what the date was and that it was in Vegas. When I asked way back then, DH just said "it's in March of 2012 in Vegas." It was more than a year away. Being so far away, I waited for it to get closer before making any definite plans because I know things can change with both dates and locations. So we knew the date/location a year ago, but I never walked over to the calendar and said "But that's a Tuesday." I just thought "Mid March in Vegas, ok."
When we got the invite I finally put two and two together that their date was a Tuesday because I started structuring our travel plans.
@LauraAlmostAbel: When people ask you why you chose it, you can say "It's our Dating Anniversary." and they'll go "Aww! Too cute"
When DH asked the groom about this wedding he said "It's just the date we picked, it doesn't mean anything." Which evokes "WTF."
ETA-I guess that's why I'm mad is that it is an inconvenient day to have a wedding with no reasoning attached beyond "This is the date we thought of." I mean, at least have a reason!
I'm with you on this. I don't mind LV but I don't hate it. However LV is expensive even in the off season and I'm sorry coming from someone who's first trip there was 8 days long, a week is entirely too effing much in that town. I had fun dont get me wrong but by day 5 I was burned out and ready to go. It's a 3 day at the most kinda place. This is extremely inconciderate to the guests.
someplace like las vagas i don't understand why it would be on a tuesday either. i think friday, sat. or sunday would have been much more convenient!
but i wanted to speak up in this thread since i had a DW on a Tuesday, LOL. My wedding was in Jamaica however, and so all my guests that decided to come did so by making a week long vacation out of it. Also, they all travelled in on either friday, saturday or sunday and stayed a week. so if i made my wedding on a saturday, it would have actually been inconvenient for them as they preferred their vacation to go from weekend to weekend. All the DW travel agents advised me to book my wedding on tuesday for this reason, espcially since flights can change and be cancelled last minute. i was told not even to make my wedding on a monday because imagine someone wants to fly in on sunday and their flight is delayed to the next day! so i was told tues - thurs are the best days for a Caribbean wedding.
i also had one friend who wanted to come just for my wedding, like arrive monday night or tuesday morning and leave wednesday and i told them i would feel guilty if they spent all that money to come JUST for my wedding. the point of the DW from the guests perspectives is that they are taking a vacation at the same time.
Also, we had people IN our bridal party not come due to unable to get vacation time or costs. Disappointing yes, but part of what i signed up for by having a DW. So in no way did i expect anyone to come, even the bridal party! However, since several important people could not attend, we were prompted to do an AHR and then everyone was happy :)
basically i think you and your DH have a valid reason not to go. But i can see where you feel obligated since it is driving distance. At the very least, neither you or your DH should be made to feel obligated to go for the 5 days.
i also suspect they chose Tuesday because the venues and vendors have cheaper week day fees?
@PurpleUnicorn: LOL, I did mention Jamaica earlier, didn't I, LOL! :-) Maybe that's just it. I would totally take a week vacation in Jamaica! It would be worth missing class for. I just can't stand Vegas for more than a couple days. :-)~ Sometimes I can't see the forest through the trees! Probably not the day I'm mad about as much as the location. Vegas isn't nice enough for me to want to take the week vacation, but Jamaica would be. I was pretty worked up earlier, but now I'm over it. I'll just fly out and be there a couple days. Judging by the movie The Hangover, I'm guessing DH will enjoy his time in Vegas much more!
Just to play Devil's Advocate:
How far avay do you guys live from Vegas? Allegent Air often flys out and returns on Monday's and Thursdays in my city for $25 to $54- It's a HUGE saver from the $250-$350 the other airlines charge. That and a room at an OK Hotel (Excaliber for example) is very low midweek (We pay $35-$40).
Cost wise, Vegas on a tuesday is very inexpensive. Perhaps they were thinking of the overall cost of travel.
A Tuesday wedding that is not a destination is ridiculous UNLESS you are all from the same town/city and doing it somewhere convenient for your guests. Most people can't take time off work like that, so even if you love the couple you may be prevented to attend. It's just plain selfish.
I guess I have a different take on this sort of thing, since we were THIS close to signing off on a destination wedding, but things worked out differently (resort planner suddenly went MIA)...
A lot of destination packages have extremely cheap rates for weekday weddings and it saves the couple a lot of expenses and they can have a nice wedding for a lot cheaper than doing it locally. If we would have done a DW where we wanted, it would have been on a Mon, Tues, Wed or Thurs. Weekends are reserved at many DW sites for large parties of 150 +, since the weekend brings the most business.
I know some people see it as an 'inconvenience' when others do a DW or when someone's wedding doesn't fit into every single guest's personal schedule, but no matter what the reasoning, it is their wedding and what they chose is what they chose. Maybe a lot of guests like Vegas and they don't mind staying extra days. Even if the actual date has no meaning to the groom, who knows, maybe it is special to the bride or her family.
Really though, as part of a couple that was heavily considering a destiation wedding, we were prepared for people to pull out last minute or not be able to come at all. If you really don't want to do it or you don't think it is worth using vacation days for, then just tell them it is out of the question. I am pretty sure that they booked on a Tuesday b/c it was cheaper and they thought it would cut down guest costs.
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Beekeeper
So I just received a DW invitation for a Tuesday. Effing really?!?!
DH is the best man, so we HAVE to go.
But he is in his last year of school and has classes on Tues and Thurs.
I am in my second year of grad school and have classes on Tues for one grad. and classes on Thurs for my other grad.
There is no special meaning for the date that the groom knows of. It was just a date they picked and are going with.
I'm mad because it is quite possibly the most inconvenient day for my DH and me. Yes, I am aware that it isn't about us. But then I think...Tuesday? Really? WTF? Couldn't have it on a Saturday or Sunday? Who the hell goes with a Tuesday DW?? It's like I am being dared not to go. And I adore the groom. He's a great guy, obviously DH's best friend and vice versa. And we are going to make it work for that reason alone. But if he was anything less than DH's "brotha from anotha motha," we would be declining.
Tuesday.
WTF.