- 4 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
Regular bee not ready to “out” us as TTC yet. Gonna be long Tl:Dr at the end if you want the cliff notes.
So I need to have a pathetic, moody, and petty moment. DH and I are married, have been for 2 years, both in stable, well enough paying for jobs, educated, happy, emotionally and financially ready for a kid, and should be plenty young and healthy. But we have been NTNP for over 6 months, no temping and all that, but having lots of sex and not protected. And nada. I came off bc and my cycles are screwy as hell, but seriously its been six months and I was only on the crap for 18 months anyway! So that stresses me a litte. Espeically since I recently found out it took my parents two years and fertility drugs both times they got pregnant. Never even considered it would be an isuse.
There is lots going on in our lives right now anyway, I don’t really enjoy my job as it is fairly high stress, but I can manage as we plan to only be where we are a year and then relocate to where I really want to be “forever”. We really want to have a kid sooner rather than later, I have always wanted to be a younger mom as I want several kids a few years apart and don’t want to be in my 50s when my kid is in high school (nothing against it, just not for us).
We also want a kid sooner because neither of our dad’s are in the best of health, not like, at death’s door or anything, but they won’t live into their 80’s, it just wasn’t meant to be. And we both really want our kids to grow up knowing their grandpas, it is important to us. And suddenly for me, this has become a bigger deal; my dad needs a kidney transplant and he has a lab value that says he will likely reject 98-100% of donor kidneys. Which means basically, my sister or I are the best and only option. I had made an appointment this week to get back on BC so I wouldn’t have issues with potentially being pregnant and it stopping a transplant (which was hard too, but having my dad around was worth a few months waiting to TTC again). But then I got this lovely call from the transplant center, because the reason my dad needs a kidney is genetic anyway, they won’t even test us until we are thirty, which is several years for my sister or I, and longer than my dad would be happy on dialysis. And it was a hard blow to take. But at least it meant not having to go back on BC, so small plus. But not really.
Then I get this WONDERFUL call, my 17 year old cousin and his 18 year old “girlfriend” he has known all of 8 weeks are now 6 weeks pregnant. WTH. Literally, the first freaking time they slept together and “the condom ‘broke'” and she got pregnant. Added joy, we have discovered she is totally nuts (cliniclally, its an incredibly unhealthy relationship, but that is not the point here) I’m not that much older than her with sad dried up eggs or something. I am in good health, DH is in good health, we are stable and ready to support a kid but somehow the irresponsible teenagers who just met can be pregannt and we can’t? BLARG.
I just don’t get it, it always seems those who don’t need a kid get knocked up if they even grind too close to a man but people who have loving, stable relationships spend months and years and lots of money to get pregnant. I have seen the heartache and painful procedures friends have gone through to get pregnant and that isn’t what I want for us, but at the same time, I want to BE pregnant and have OUR biological child. It just sucks. And I know lots of women on here have been trying a lot longer, but it is a reality I never thought would be us, everyone else had issues, we were going to have it easy and pop out a kid whenever we wanted. But reality set in. And I hate it.
Tl:DR-We have been trying(Well, NTNP) 6 months, life has gotten totally screwy And I am really angry the stupid teenager that is my cousin and his gf can get knocked up on their first time and somehow the stable adults can’t. And I know its petty and stupid but I am still mad about it.