Venting……

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4526 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would suggest to just take her off your wedding.  I understand that pregnancy can take you away from people, without even wanting, but if she cannot commint with you, she should just be open and honest and let you know.  You dont want to look back at your wedding pictures and see her there when you are not friends anymore, you know.  GL lady!!

Post # 4
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago

Yea, one sided friendships are the worst.  I’ve started to weed people like that out of my life!  Unfortunetly for you she’s in your wedding so you can’t do that. 

I would be the bigger person and still go to her baby shower.  After the shower (not immediately after the shower) but after a day or two, sit down with her and let her know how you feel.  Maybe she doesn’t realize she is leaving you out…or making you feel like she doesn’t care.  Good Luck, and sorry you are dealing with that 🙁

Post # 5
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@flowingoan:  I am sorry she is being so cold.

I am normally against dropping people out of the WP but this is a bad situation and you don’t want to look back on your pictures and see her. So I would suggest dumping her in the nicest way possible

Post # 7
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Hold the phone. You decided to not go to her baby shower because she didn’t tag you in a fbook post? Isn’t that a little petty? It sounds like shes really overwhelmed by the pregnancy (guessing it’s her first?) and she just doesn’t really know she has ahead of her. I think it was fine of her to say she might not be able to go to the shower, she doesnt’ yet know what having a baby will be like. I think you are honestly a little out of line for reacting like this. So she ordered the wrong size, big whoops! She’s probably a little nervous about her weight and size and self concious about it.

If you want to be a good supportive friend, let this all go, and be there for her and hope she’ll do the same for you.

Post # 8
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Woops repost

 

Post # 10
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

@flowingoan:  After all you’ve said, and mistreating her ex, I believe she does that with all the people she’s with, including friends, isn’t she ? It’s the kind of person who believes the world revolves around them, they want to be center of attention and don’t even bother to even *pretend* they care. I had a ”friend” like this once. And it was pretty much like you explained : I worked my a** off to help her and be with her whenever I could, but when happy events happened to me, she was nowhere to be found. Even on Facebook, when it’s just easy to ”like” a status when I’ve got good news I’ve been waiting for months, she, my ”best” friend at the time, NEVER mentioned it, not even online, not even in real life. It was just like nothing happened.

So, basically, I decided to end the relationship when I realized how egoist she was, and I don’t miss her at all !

Post # 12
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago

Does she live 2 hours away from you?  That could be another reason why she doesn’t want to help plan the bridal shower, having a new baby and having to drive 2 hours to help plan a party would be stressful for a new mom.  Not attending your Bridal Shower is not acceptable, but I don’t think you should be too hard on her for asking your other BM to help plan the shower. 

Post # 13
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

It seems one sided. And, if she isn’t coming to your bridal shower, I certainly wouldn’t go to her baby shower. I would ask her to come to the wedding as a guest, since being a BM is clearly too much for her right now. It doesn’t mean that the friendship has to end, just that she should come without any responsibilities.

Post # 15
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee

Good for you.  You called her out about the way she has been treating you, so now she knows that you’ve noticed.  If you can get through the upcoming events, then I think you are right to re-evaluate the friendship.  I am a little stunned that she actually said you talked about the wedding too much and not her.  That seems a little self centered to me.  Everyone should get to have their day and everything that comes with it.  I’m sure she had hers.  Like I said,  good for you to get it off your chest.

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