Post # 1
I need to vent. I got engaged back in Aug. of 2010. And I started planning and looking into venues etc…. However my budget was down sized because my family just can’t afford it. ( No big deal for me) I’m a college student and my FI is Military so I have been fortunate to have some saved away for a rainy day. Now my FI will help pay. But I need his help with ideas and things… He’s saying that I’m driving him crazy at this point. I have not yet started back on planning this wedding. The reason for this vent is because last weekend, we were at his aunt’s house and she asked how far had I got on planning the wedding.( now I’m getting married in June of this yr) So I told her I was still thinking about some ideas. Now her Granddaughter was there and she’s getting married in July 2012. And when she heard me say that I was still working on it she just went into a ” Oh I have have all my stuff planned colors, time etc…. I kinda felt like :(… But then the next day hanging with his mother made it no better. While out eating she asked ” so how’s the wedding you guy’s are still getting married right?” I just looked at him and he was like yeah but we might set it back because Aunt Anita thought that the time and planning was to much… I guess I’m not feeling like I can get the wedding I want so why plan so much into it !! Am I wrong for this……
Post # 3
You’re upset because your FI isn’t helping you and causing you to stall on planning?
If you haven’t booked anything or done any concrete planning and your FI doesn’t want to help or encourage you to do so, you may need to have a serious conversation with him about what his expectations are regarding your wedding and marriage. You two clearly aren’t on the same page about what you want to happen and when.
Post # 4
I think that guys have the “I’ll rent the tux, just tell me where to be and what time to be there” mentality and really don’t know how to help!
My suggestion? I would offer three venues to consider. Three color schemes that you like, three invitations, three of everything and ask if he likes any of them rather than saying “What do you want” and being generic about it. It could be he doesn’t know what he wants OR he wants to make you happy and doesn’t want to give you a wrong answer.
Maybe if you break it down for him (as I said, 3 venues, color schemes, etc.) it will be less overwhelming for him? Give it a try. Good luck!
Post # 5
i know when we first got engaged i would ask my FI to be involved but the fact was his care factor was zero, he was happy to be told when and where and if i was happy he was happy – i learnt this after i had a major meltdown over stationary, i wanted his imput on 2 different shades of blue and all he saw was blue and blue
i suggest you go forward and make plans, tell him what you have decided and if he has any comments/imput/issues ask him to speak up otherwise lock it in and move to the next item
Post # 6
He’s like what ever makes ME happy… Now the wedding he says is my thing. He’s always has said it’s about the “Marriage”. I just need a push into the right direction. I have my colors, I brought my dress, and I have my bridemaid and flower girl dresses… I just haven’t found a venue, dj, caterer, etc.. ( I guess the big stuff)
Post # 7
Just kick yourself into gear then and get working on it, or you’ll be running out of options for a June wedding.
My FI cares about specific things about the wedding and nothing else. He cared about the venue, which he helped decide on (after I did all the research and set up viewings). He cares about the food and the guys’ suits, and the favors, the ceremony, and he sort of has opinions about invites. Everything else is ‘my thing’ and he doesn’t care and i don’t bother him with it (like flowers, table numbers, timeline.
I would suggest asking him what he does and doesn’t care about and then just moving forward, if he really just wants to get married and you really don’t care about the wedding, then do something small and keep it simple.