Weddingbee boards

I live in Japan and its very difficult to organize a wedding from here because culturally its just different from America. For one there aren't a variety of options available. We have tried them all.

I wanted to have an outdoor wedding and preferably under the cherry blossoms. Its just impossible. There is a traditional festival here that time of the year called, Hanami. People literally camp outside in the parks, set up tarps, bring foods, chairs, tables, blankets, and most importantly alcohol. Its impossible to even walk through any area with cherry blossoms during this time. Why you might ask? Well, its of course the only two weeks that this lovely flower is available to view so people must get incredibly drunk by them and take up space. Actually, its quite fun with friend and coworkders However, this effected my wedding plan.

So onto plan B. A Japanese garden. Ahhh that just sounded like such a wonderful idea. After all I am in Japan with my Japanese fiance. But again I was shot down. The governments pretty much own every Japanese garden as well as the shrines and since I am Christian and not Shinto they completely didn't get the image of a woman in "White wedding dress" outside with a man in a "Hakama" (aka. man's kimono).

Hakama example( my guy is way cuter ^_^)

So of course its two different religions so understood. I mean I can't walk into a catholic church with a Kimono on and start the party!

So I had to put many of my ideas aside. The venue was harder than I ever imagined. I don't think I have heard the word No so much in one day.

So I would say that after all the things I did understand from park celebrations to the religious matters. The one thing I couldn't quite get is why hotels weddings ( the standard here with uncoustomizeable options) wouldn't allow me to bring my own dress. We called so many people and they gave us every no in the book. I even fibbed and said it was my mothers dress to get a sympothy vote and it didn't make a difference. All they cared was that I didn't want to RENT my wedding dress. Yes ladies RENT. Japanese women typically enjoy the western style wedding with only a rented option. So I am sure yout thinking oh thats cheap!

NOPE!

Rentals in Japan can run from $500 - $1500. Thats just a rental! Yes you give it back after your 3 hour timed wedding and reception are finished.

Phew so long story short too many differences to adjust to with the wedding part of the culture. However, there is a plus! Japanese guests typically bring from $300 as a present to the wedding to help pay for costs. No gift exchanging. Yay!!!

But, just a little over the top, in return we have to provide extravegant dishes around $100 - $150 per person as well as a very nice present, about $50 to the guests.

Oh well! Thats culture

@MrsPinkPeony:

Yes it is. I have been quoted $1,000 for the rental several times. I am hoping to use my own at a new venue. They are flexible and have an outdoor space. Not quite my original plan but reasonable.

I love the culture here for the most part but as far as weddings are concerned its all business. I like to say its like Vegas with the prepackaged options to choose from, but not as classy.

Ooh and many girls here love to do 3 rentals. That can cost up to $3,000-$5000

1st outfit for pictures ( unless you do the Shinto religious wedding which would be the all white)

2nd dress will be the White dress if your having a western style ceremony-the most popular in recent years. It also usually comes with a FAKE minister. It was so difficult for me to track down a minister in a 1% Christian country but I did!!!! Most brides could careless as long as he is foreign.

The last change is a little over the top.

@Atalanta:

Yeah! I so tried to go home and get married in a Japanese garden. How ironic! But they were booked the weekend I was available to come home. I will probably go home and have a second smaller wedding with just family and friends.

@Atalanta:

Oh well characters and cute things are a big part of Japanese culture. I am sure this particular couple did this to be different yet fashionable.

@LacrosseBride:

And you know what I think that would be beautiful, really. Maybe I should have added that I can't walk into a catholic church with a kimono and remove the Priest.

I essentaily wanted the garden but nothing envolving the Shinto religious faith. I couldn't find a gorgeous garden that wasn't manned by the Shinto religion or the government. There are wonderful free parks to visit, however all have a more western look as well as many rules to abide by. None allowed me to go onto their grounds and start a ceremony. The police would have literally ushered us out.

However, if I could have traveled a few hours into the country side, it would have been different. I am sure that these are mostly the rules of Tokyo.

This is the one park that said yes (Inokashira) the only problem was my season since they are popular for the Cherry Bloosom viewing festival.

@Atalanta:

And yes I say shame on these fake ministers! I am not sure how to view this because it sounds a bit sinful. It was hillarious to have two choices- A protestant minister or a catholic minister. I viewed a rehersal for a wedding and I wanted to laugh so loud my fiance and I just held hands and snickered in Englsh. We couldn't believe this actor! He looked as though he went drinking the other night with his friends. When he finished and said goodbye to us he looked at me like, please don't give me away.

They make a good living on the weekends. They can make some peoples salary in that weekend alone, about $100-$300 every 1 hour wedding, some do many in a day.  For example, usually there is a minister company ( I pictured a ton of western men all lined up ready to select which imposter to play today) and then the hotel selects you one. They dress in the fashion you choose (usually protestant or catholic) and then start the cereomony.

There are some real ministers here but weeding them out can be tough. 

But some young Japanese want an actual free-standing chapel, a desire that has given rise to faux chapels (not affiliated with any church but designed solely for weddings and bearing names like "Amour et Confiance" and "Cappellina"). "

So my wedding planning has been a fight. I wish I were able to come home with mu friends and family. My mother wasn't keen on the idea of preparing an entire ceremony without my attendance. She said it would nearly be a surprise wedding and too much on her shoulders. I chose to stay and do the main ceremony here and to return home a few months later to share the joy with everyone else. Luckily my Mother anf Father will be coming, noone esle could afford the $1,000 ticket.

Thanks ladies for letting me vent. This really helped.

@Atalanta:

Humm so true. I truly wanted to be home. Tried to be nice on the board but actually Mom said flat out no. She said she didn't want the guests. The whole idea felt like trouble to her. So I just stayed here. Now though she says, "Maybe you should have just come home."

@luckyprincess:

Aww thanks! I have never done a blog before so I will think about it. I am hoping that other parts of our ceremony will come together soon.

Your also right about how ironic it is that I can't have a real American wedding. Its their personal creation from our culture. I am hoping to find a happy medium. Trying to be patient and understanding.

This is our current wedding location. It all worked out in the end. It wasn't my original dream setting but its mine. The staff is wonderful, the place is clean, it has a magical feeling to it.

Now all I need is a sunny day!!! I suppose I am asking for too much. Hey I am bride.I am in total Bridezilla mode right now and never expected such a thing to happen.I suppose a different culture can do that.