(Closed) Venting… future family in law hates me

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
74 posts
Worker bee

It sounds like there may not be much you can do.  It’s great that you and your Fiance are on the same page though.  The only thing I could think of would be for BOTH of you to sit down with her and tell her that her attitude towards your marriage is inappropriate and that neither of you will tolerate being treated like that.  Make sure you show a united front and do it together if you’re going to do it.  Beyond that… if she wants to be crazy, she’ll just keep on doing it, so don’t expect much.  

There’s always a possibility that if you do have kids, she may come around then despite what she’s saying now (though whether you’d want her in their lives at that point is a different story).

Post # 4
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am so sorry. I don’t really have any advice. Hopefully, they will come around. All you can do is continue to be nice to them. Remember their birthdays and holidays and send them a card and/or small gift to let them know you are thinkng of them. You could try to write a letter from your heart; maybe it would open the door and their hearts.

Post # 5
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

That is awesome that you and your Fiance are doing premarriage counseling. Would it be possible for your counseler to mediate a conversation between the four of you?

Post # 7
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am sorry this is happening to you *Hugs* but on the other hand if its not making things between you and your Fiance tense/fight!…then I say let it be as long as you two are happy no one else should matter you hold the key to your own happiness no one else if they want to patch things up and stop with the drama let them come to you. Do not make an effort if you did not do anything wrong!.

Post # 8
27 posts
  • Wedding: March 2010

oh how sad..

you can just hope that they come around.  do you even know if there’s any real reason behind it?  or is it just that they don’t want him to be with anyone..

sometimes people change.  

other times they don’t.  i have a friend who was disowned from her parents (the grandparents and everyone else was for the couple..just not the parents).  

i wish you well.  glad you two are strong.  if it were me, i would leave cuz my mom has told me that you marry a family not just the guy. 

Post # 9
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Im so sorry this is happening to you. Im glad your FH is supporting you and that your united as a team. Its just sucks that they have this view.

Their anger will only eat at them and become more miserable than what they are already are! (going by what it sounds like!)

Post # 11
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am getting married for the second time.  My first husband’s mother was a mean nasty [email protected]!%H, and any time that he and argued which was a lot, it was always my fault.  We were together for 15years and high school sweethearts.  It was all well and good until I grew up and became my own person.  She was not happy that I actually asserted myself and had my own thoughts.  It was a big problem.  I knew she hated me.  It is a jealousy issues and insecurity on their part.  Good luck.  When we got divorced he and I had to go to court.  It was 5 days of hell.  She was there everyday making nasty, snide comments and being really obnoxious.  It was aweful.  I really hope you and your Fiance can work through it and be strong.

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