(Closed) VENTING: Grandparents teaching bad habits

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Find alternate childcare.

Post # 4
Member
3617 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

If your in laws aren’t following through with rules you set for your son and encouraging him to fight they are acting like kids.  They need to realise the consequences of their actions.  If they continue to feed DS non-vegan food, and contine to allow (and therefore encourage the bad behaviour) then I don’t think the in laws should be around your son and certainly not look after him.  Your son is 18 months old.  What happens when he’s older? What will they teach him that is “ok” then? Nip it in the bud now I think.

Sorry you seem to be fighting a losing battle right now.  Good luck.

Post # 5
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Finding a sitter who is respectful of your choices is the only option.

Post # 6
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Jenniphyr:  I was about to write something wrong, but THIS. lol! This hit the nail on the head. That’s about all you can do!

Post # 7
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yep, I’m with the PP’s. Find someone else to watch your son if you don’t agree with the what they’re doing. 

Post # 8
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

Yup. If they won’t respect your wishes, you have to accept it (I wouldn’t) or find somewhere else for him to go. I would be more upset about them feeding him Mac if you’re vegan tbh. I’m kind of the opposite–paleo–but if it’s important to you, you don’t want them feeding him that. 

Post # 9
Member
1994 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I feel like this kind of thing is to be expected from grandparents.  Especially the Mac & Cheese thing.  I know when I was growing up, my grandparents let me get away with murder.  They gave me anything I wanted, and disregarded many of my parents wishes when they weren’t around.  These people fed me cake for breakfast when I stayed the night!  It dosen’t make it right though.  And to be quite honest, I would be pissed if I were the parent in such a situation.  I would definitely find someone else to watch the kiddo, and maybe limit the amount of time he spends there without you or your DH. 

Post # 10
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

Another thought is that kids are able to understand what is acceptable at grandpas is not acceptable at home and vice versa. Not sure if you are doing this but if you want him to be vegan I would hope you are providing the grandparents with the food you want him to eat otherwise I would say suck it up because most people are not vegan. If that doesn’t work then you need to find somebody else to watch him.

Post # 11
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

It is one thing when children visit Grandparents occaisionally, completely different when they are a regular caregiver.

Talk to them calmly with your DH at a time when there isn’t an issue. If they can’t follow your way of raising your child then you need to find different caregivers.

Post # 12
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Um, and by “wrong” in my last post I meant “long”.. didn’t catch it til now. wtf.

Post # 13
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

@SincerelyShe:  

@Genuine513:  

 

Totally agree… Lighten up!  That’s what Grandparents do… They let kids get away with murder.  As long as there is no permanent damage Grandma & Grandpa’s house have diferrent rules.  As he gets older, he’ll understand that.  Besides, your in-laws did a good enough job of raising kids to get you to marry their son.

Post # 15
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ieatunicorns:  This.

@AuntPatchy:  I completely disagree -when the kids just stay at the grandparent’s house every now and then, having special rules and being allowed to do mroe is fine and fun. But when the grandparent is the regular caretaker, they need to enforce the parents rules like any other babysitter would.

 

OP, this is pretty much the reason I won’t have the husband’s parents babysit when we have a child, his mom would want to watch him or her every day we work, and would refuse to follow our rules. Time for your husband to put his foot down and help you find alternate childcare, and explain why it’s necessary to his parents.

Post # 16
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

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