venting my fears about wedding crashers… long..

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

Culture clash, what a pain to deal with.  From what you said, having a list may be the best solution.  You can’t order his family not to divulge any details.  Also, you can’t blow a budget or exceed capacity for uninvited guests

Post # 5
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

 I’d have assigned seating and place cards.  It helps if you have a plated meal instead of buffet, too.  If there’s no chair and no food… what are they going to do? 

Post # 6
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

@cmbr:  You wouldn’t want uninvited people to take the spots of invited guests though. 

What if I’m invited but someone took my seat and dinner?  I certainly wouldn’t want to offend anyone by asking for my seat back but it could happen.  Why create a possibility for any negativity on the wedding day?

Post # 8
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you have people show up that are such assholes  that they take an invited  guest’s escort card and attempt to sit there and intend to eat their meal,  then I would get venue security involved.  If I was a guest at a wedding and someone was in my seat,  I’m pretty sure I’d say ” I’m sorry, I think this is my seat.” 

Post # 10
Member
6274 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

you need to have a talk with your FI and discuss your fears and have him talk to his family about the situation.

Post # 12
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ajillity81:  

i agree with this,you FI should be the one to explain to his parents and he and he parents need to make it clear to family members at the party that its invitation only.

also cant the parents let people know or have this party (the one before the wedding)that this party is for the ones who yous were unable to invite then maybe it wont sound bad when his parents have to let people know they are unable to come to the wedding.

also your best bet is to have a list for people to enter,if you dont things can get out of hand if an arguement happends,it happend at my wedding from just one person who we made leave and they wanted to shut my wedding down,i still had hours to go and spent thousands,i told them no way,problem is gone,shut it down and you will give me most my money back.anyway my point is,its better to be safe then sorry

Post # 13
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@virgomasala80:  

also you need to have someone let you FI guest know as they arrive to get a table card to sit at the table assigned to them.do you have a DOC?after dancing starts who cares were they end up sitting,everyone mingles,thats what we did

Post # 16
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@lolaswann:  +1. If I traveled for a wedding and bought a gift, I’d be pissed if an uninvited guest took my seat.

OP, it’s your wedding and you who will be on the hook to pay for the uninivited guests (your dad has already made it clear that he won’t be paying for them). You need to take charge of the situation, or get your FI to. Either way, his family needs to understand the expectations. A list at the door and formal seating seem like the best idea – if there’s no seat, they can’t stay. 

I have never heard of people just showing up to an event they weren’t invited to. That’s crazy.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors