(Closed) Venting/update

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Sorry, I deleted my comment because it was not helpful or supportive, which I know is what this bee is looking for….

Post # 6
Member
853 posts
Busy bee

Marriage is for the rest of your life. Why rush something that is going to last forever? You have FOREVER to be together; I say enjoy this time now instead of being anxious and annoyed. I understand being impatient and wanting things to evolve quickly, but I think there is a lot to be said for the saying “don’t wish your life away.” There is something beautiful to EVERY stage of your life; enjoy it. Relish this time when there is love, something wonderful building between the two of you, and best of all, anticipation. Anticipating something wonderful can be an amazingly terrific experience if you surrender to it, and not focus on what’s over the fence.

Post # 8
Member
5968 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

I’m happy things are moving in a direction that makes you feel better, seriously, that’s awesome, why you pushin so hard?  Life is long, and it is sad when people miss the scenery because they were eyeing the destination the whole time… 

Post # 9
Member
853 posts
Busy bee

That makes sense. I guess it’s like anything that you’re eagerly anticipating though—try to think of it as a time when you have so much to look forward to! I LOVE looking forward, and ahead at things (this is the reason I like Christmas Eve better than Christmas…becuase all of the excitement and family fun is yet to come). I also got married this summer and the BEST time was right before the bridal shower and stagette, and the wedding. I had all of those events just looming before me and I was so full of excitement it was wonderful! With your move and your engagement still ahead of you, you’ve got a lot to be smiling about right now! It’s not a negative thing that you want to be together, and it sounds like your FI isn’t trying to pull the wool over your eyes and NOT propose. So try to focus on that giddy excitement! Because before you know it, you’ll be looking back at it (although you will have a wedding ahead, which is awesome!)

Post # 11
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@jules28:  

@impatientlywaiting20:  

@Nona99:  You all said it better than I did! I just feel like there is still a lot of work that needs to be done to even begin merging your families, but you only have your eye on the prize, and are making it sound that somehow getting engaged will solve everything (the house, the distance, the siblings…etc). You have to make sure that you are in a good place NOW, before you get engaged and bring wedding planning into the mix, which only makes things harder.

I’m just afraid that you’re going to push him into getting engaged too soon, move your kids into a new house and new school while you’re planning a wedding, and once you’re married, take a step back and realize that you still have a lot of issues that were never fully addressed.

I’m glad you’re going to therapy, that is a big first step, but maybe focus on working on your issues and getting on the same page in terms of the future instead of pushing so hard for a ring.

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