Post # 1
I’m about to lose it.
Long story short, we spend Christmas day in 3 states, and the day after we travel another 2.5 hours to see more family. It sucks, and its been an adjustment for me because growing up, my family all lived in the same town and we never had to travel more than 5 minutes. But regardless, this is how its been for about 3 years now and I slap a smile on my face and deal with it.
My Future Mother-In-Law is really not bad, but she can be extemely selfish. Ive posted about it before, but basically she completely ignores us. Her and my Future Father-In-Law had a nasty divorce years ago and I think my Fiance reminds her of her ex-husband and therefore treats him like dirt. She treats FI’s sisters like they walk on water, and my Fiance has always felt like the black sheep.
So anyways, my Fiance reminded her what time we would be stopping by on Christmas and we plan to spend about 4-5 hours there before we get back on the road to see my side of the family. She freaked out and was complaining that she only gets to see us 4 hours and its so unfair. We invited her to Xmas eve, but she wont attend because my Future Father-In-Law will be there.
Please keep in mind that she lives 1 hour away and has been to our house once in the last year and half. We have invited her probably 40 or 50 times and she always has an excuse-she’s tired, doesnt want to drive in the dark, the dog can’t be caged…its always an excuse. So why is she making such a big deal out of Christmas?
Its hard juggling all the families. Last year we spent the morning with my side, and the afternoon with his. So this year we are swapping and I think its the most fair thing to do. But no matter what, she is complaining. I feel like no matter what we do…everyone still gets mad.
Ugh…just needed to vent.
Post # 3
Sorry to hear it. That sounds a bit ridiculous. I mean really, once you hit adulthood good luck NOT having a bunch of holiday plans, especially if you attached to someone. I don’t have to travel very far at all but still do the juggling thing and it is still exhausting. Someday Fiance and I are going to just get a cabin that is buried in snow and cuddle up to a fire the whole holiday and see no one! Sound fair? Yeah, Future Mother-In-Law is selfish if she doesn’t even understand that you don’t get to see your family very long either. Sorry about it!
Post # 4
We went through similar hassles in my first marriage- not travelling through three states but travelling from an island on the ferry, then hours of driving. We pleased no one including ourelves.
We finally said “enough is enough” and decided to stay home for Christmas. Everyone was welcome to join us. We visted out of town family at Thanksgiving.
Frankly I consider living one hour away to be almost the same as living in the same city as it takes that amount of time to drive anywhere in rush hour here.
Post # 5
Last year Fiance was unemployed and we lived in the Midwest while both of our families live on the East coast. I spend almost 2K on flights for Thanksgiving for 1 week and Christmas for 2 weeks, which we split evenly between our 2 families who live 2.5 hours apart. We had to rent a car and drive back and forth a bunch and Future Mother-In-Law still bitched that we didn’t spend enough time with her. She was expecting me to drop Fiance off at the beginning of the vacation and then leave haha…I can’t wait until we have kids and can just make everyone travel to see us for Christmas…
Post # 6
wow. sorry dear. Sounds like she will never be pleased. I consider myself my familiy’s black sheep ( and i say that proudly, i totally own it) and no matter WHAT my mom always gripes. It is like living in the twilight zone. Anyway, this year I said screw it and didnt go see her across the country. I used to travel 3 times a year from Cali to FL to see her. But after so much meaness and complaining and never pleasing her I said NO and it was the best decision I made. And I told her why too. It was her wake up call and she has gotten better as have I with her.
Post # 7
Glad im not alone in this yearly battle!
The thing that kills me is that she never ever ever cares about seeing us throughout the year. So why is she making such a big deal out of Christmas? We actually offered to go visit her last weekend and had plans to meet up, but she told us to forget it because she was too tired. Like, WTF!??