Venue before being engaged? Crazy to do?

posted 3 years ago in Venue
Post # 3
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@FutureMrsJefferson:  I would ask him, and if he doesn’t freak out do it. Saving money is awesome. 

On the other hand, think about your guest list and budget. Will it fit the amount of people and your budget?


Post # 5
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Honestly, I wouldn’t ask him, i think it could be best kept to yourself until after he pops. If it’s something you really want, put down a deposit, but…

make sure you really know what sort of wedding you’ll BOTH want. I thought I wanted a big thing. And six months on from the proposal, that couldn’t be further from my vision of our big day. And as beautiful as the place is (It really is!!) what if he secretly always wanted to get married on the beach, or in a forest or something?

I wouldn’t completely forget this opportunity but I’d give it a massive think through before any money went down.

Post # 6
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

This is just me being superstitious, but I would never book a venue before officially being engaged.  So many things can happen; even though he’s shopping for a ring now, it may take him months to propose (hopefully not though).  And for me, picking a venue together was something that was important.

Post # 7
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@FutureMrsJefferson:  I would talk about it with you boyfriend and see what he thinks.  If you both want to do it, go for it.

The only concern I would have is asking family members if the date works for them if you don’t want to announce your engagement before you have a ring.  You wouldn’t want to accidentally book on the date of another family member’s wedding or other big day.

Post # 8
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@FutureMrsJefferson:  dont lose that moment of visiting with your fiance, looking at eachother, and knowing its “the one”.  So far, thats been my favorite part of planning almost.

Also, agree with PP about the vision.  I imagined a very rustic country club wedding since I was young but now my vision has completely changed. We are having a downtown wedding at a very classic old hotel in their ballroom and I couldnt be more thrilled.  Its more “us”

Post # 11
356 posts
Helper bee

@FutureMrsJefferson:  I would ask him and see how he feels. My SO and I know when we will be getting married, but he won’t let me put any deposits down until he proposes- he wants to do it “traditionally” which I said fine to…and that he better hope no one takes my venue 😉

Post # 12
8510 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think it’s okay as long as you talk to him about it beforehand.  We booked ours before we “officially” announced our engagement but we were discussing it and we had picked out the date.

Post # 13
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Ask him first.  My FI and I booked our venue before he proposed, but we were on the same page for everything and had already had a few discussions on how we wanted things to go.

Post # 14
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

You are ‘engaged’, you just don’t have a ring/proposal yet.

I’m all up for the romance of waiting and doing things in order…. BUT $500 is a big savings! I would at least mention it to him, if you are planning to marry him you should be able to communicate about these types of things. Good luck!

That is one beautiful venue 🙂

Post # 15
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Alexander Homestead

@FutureMrsJefferson:  I would definitely discuss it with him as well and you may be surprised at how amenable he is to the idea! Before FI and I were engaged, we had a date set, photographers picked and had even paid the initial deposit one week before he popped the question so you know your SO best and where his head is in this planning process.  If you two are eye-to-eye on things, then definitely go for it! Our big day is not until one week before yours and I’ve gotten nothing but thumbs up from vendors, venues, dress boutiques and the like who know that we are already planning.  So glad we booked our venue because we were told thaty they typically book 15-18 months out since they have become so popular.  So the lady said I am right on time! Laughing  Best wishes to you both and Happy Planning!

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