Post # 1
I find myself in a bit of a mess. When my fiance and I first became engaged we set a date, booked a venue, created a guest list and sent out save the dates about nine months prior to the wedding date because many of our friends and family live out of town. A few months went by, and through no fault of our own, the venue we had selected completely fell through and we found ourselves scrambling to find a new venue. 🙁
Our initial guest list included about 260 friends and family with an allowance for about 35 ‘+ guests’ for our single fiends. The new venue can only accomodate 200 people. I feel confident we can get down to that number, given the amount of people who are out of town. However, to be sure, rather than un-invite some of the people we already personally invited, we are no longer allowing the single people to bring dates, unless they don’t know anyone else attending.
Obviuosly the wedding invitations will be addressed to only the actual invitees. However, gven the fact that they were previously told we would allow guests, I’m wondering if we should include a note in the invitation explaining the venue change and circumstances no longer allowing for a date.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t include a note but speak to them individually – if it is 35 people that isn’t an enormous amount. It is a delicate situation, so I would just explain it over the phone or next time you see them. Explain it as clearly as you did here.
Post # 4
@afuturemrsl: yep, if it’s only those 35 people, then definitely call them and explain.
Post # 5
You should be fine with a total number coming in around 200. I would send the invitations without a plus one and speak to those people directly, letting them know what happened.
You may end up with more regrets than you think and could possibly invite their guests later on if they’re cool with it.
Post # 6
I haven’t had a chance to speak to each of them yet, but have been doing it on a case by case basis. However, I am very surprised by two friends who are not dating anyone, yet have gotten super upset for not being allowed a date (one yelled at me for being ‘messed up’). In both cases, they know other people and in fact, are friends themselves.
It makes me wonder if I’m up for another 30 angry phone calls as I break the news to everyone else.
Oddly enough, my brother and his wife did not allow +1s at their wedding and had no complaints. :-/
Post # 7
@vabride2011: that friend sounds like a tool. i would get back to them and say, “i understand if you do not feel comfortable coming without a guest, in which case we will be sorry to miss you” i.e. shut up and don’t come if you are going to complain
Post # 8
@vabride2011: Those two friends are out of line! It’s not their wedding, they are a guest and should not be offended that you can’t allow them a guest.
I went to a friend’s wedding a few years ago and one of the guests, who we were ALL friends with, who has never had a steady girlfriend, nor a girlfriend at the time complained to no end about not being allowed a plus one. The bride only allowed those in serious relationship plus ones, and she knew almost every SO anyway. We all just thought that this guy was rude especially since he told her he wasn’t coming because he wasn’t allowed a date.
Post # 9
I agree – I’d speak to the single guests persaonlly and appologise about the arrangemetns but things change. I’m sure they’ll understand. What about not inviting kids?
Post # 10
I would call them and explain that things have changed and they cant bring a +1 anymore. I wouldnt include a note though
Post # 11
Here’s a thought… what if you send out your probable no’s and see what happens? Give it a couple of weeks, then send out the rest of the invitations with a better idea of how many can’t come. You should be okay if you send out the 2nd wave of invitations by May 10th or so.
I agree with everyone else; the “friend” sounds like a total b**ch…
Post # 12
@Rgeddy: The wedding was already an adult reception. The only children there will be my nieces and nephews who are in the wedding. great thought though.