Venue drama… Need Advice

posted 2 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
7406 posts
Busy Beekeeper

amy.millerful:  Wouldn’t a better plan be to get your FI to tell his mother that she has x amount of invites and that is it? That way you don’t have to give up your dream of a wedding but you are still having the wedding you can afford by keeping it at the original 120 guests.

Post # 3
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow what a shitty thing for you FMIL to do. I’d call the venue to see what your options are. Let them know you are having considerably less people (because your FMIL CANNOT invite all those people now, be firm on that) and since you are still 17 months out they should be able to make changes.

If they aren’t willing to budge on the price, try to get as much back as you can from your venue and cancel. That’s what I would do anyway.

Make sure you and your FI only invite the people you want there and have the wedding YOU want. Don’t let anyone else sway you even if they offer to pay.

 

ETA: From your OP I was under the impression that your venue cost more (and you put down a bigger deposit) because your MIL said there would be way more people and therefore the venue is now charging more.

If that is NOT the case and it is just that your FMIL insisted on inviting 100+ more people and will now not be paying for them then tell her they will not be invited.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  MrsKriegerson.
Post # 4
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

amy.millerful:  Why are you letting your FMIL push you around?  Money talks.  If you are paying for the event you maintian full conrol.  She may give input to the guest list, but you and your DH make the final decision.  Period.

Seems like and easy fix to me.  Cut all the extra people she wants to invite.

Post # 5
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

 

I agree with j_jaye, the issue here isn’t the venue but that your FMIL thinks it’s appropriate to invite an extra 130 people on what will ultimately amount to your dime. Talk to her about it and try to get her to compromise before nixing the venue and your hefty deposit.

Post # 6
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Umm no. Tell MIL she gets X amount of people, and that’s it. You shouldn’t be giving up your venue and what YOU want for your wedding because your MIL is inviting over 120 extras people. That’s ridiculous.

What in the heck does your FI think of all this?!!

Post # 8
Member
7406 posts
Busy Beekeeper

amy.millerful:  No harm in asking them. Also have a look at what your contract says. You may be stuck if it is written in there somewhere.

Maybe gather some quotes for things and set up a budget and then show it to your FI so he can see that weddings really do cost a lot. I would also bring up the scenario of what if no gives you cash as a gift? Will FMIL still expect to be paid back? And definately express how starting married life with debt for a party is not a great idea.

Post # 9
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

amy.millerful:  You and your FI clearly need to get on the same page.  It’s totally uncool that your FI’s mom is demanding to add guests to the guest list that you are expected to pay for (either now or later, doesn’t matter).

The answer to this is very simple.  Enforcing it, of course, will be uncomfortable, but is necessary.  

Post # 11
Member
7531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

amy.millerful: Venue help?  I know of a place where you can have your wedding for up to 100 people for less than 1K for the space.  Feel free to Private Message me with more/for more information.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors