Post # 1
Hey guys, I need some advice. My FI and I dated for 5 years, and as of this November finally got engaged! Before becoming engaged, I never really envisioned what I wanted my wedding to be like so this was a whole new territory for me. However, I quickly discovered my taste in weddings. I LOVE the rustic, warm, subtle, and romantic kind of feel. My dream wedding would be in a barn with the glow of a thousand candles. I also envision it being somewhat laid back but elegant at the same time.
Now, back to my real wedding. My FI and I were in between a venue that is a barn converted into a restaurant (swoon), and a nautical venue (also extremely beautiful). My heart was set on the barn. . . I absolutely loved it. That is until I was bombarded with opinions. My mom and sister didn’t *love* it. At all. However, they fell in love with the other venue. So did my dad, in-laws, and friends. To the point where my parents were saying “This is the venue. Hands down.” My FI was my last hope. But a few details pulled him away from the barn, and made him like the water venue a bit more. We ended up going with the venue on the water.
At the time, I had talked myself into the venue on the water. I really liked it, and I really liked the fact that everyone else loved it. My parents put down the $2500 deposit. It’s been a couple weeks since we booked, and I am having serious feelings of regrets. To the point that I almost get teary when thinking about it. While it’s unbelievably gorgeous, I don’t think that it is us! I feel like we are more subtle and down to earth than the feeling this venue gives you. And now I don’t know what to do. Everyone else loves it, and $2500 is a LOT to lose (especially when it is my parents money). Also, God knows how they would react if I told them. I haven’t even really expressed this to my FI, even though I have a feeling he can tell. I feel like I’m stuck, and hate that these feelings are being associated with my wedding!!
Any advice? What should I do? Any ideas of how I can move on from these feelings, and be happy with the place? Sorry for the novel, but it felt good to get it all out…
Post # 3
If you change the venue which is completely up to you and your SO, you must pay your parents back the $2500 dollars. Do what makes you and your SO happy, its your wedding, but your parents will have to be paided back.
Post # 4
@Jade1424: I think you need to cry for an evening and then get over it. That’s a huge sum of money to throw away. Even if you and your fiance paid the $2500, that’s the cost of a gown or a serious upgrade for your honeymoon. This isn’t a case like dress regret where you can resell and get part of your money back. The money is gone.
I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I think you need to mourn for a day and then let it go and start looking at the possibilities the venue has to offer. If it had been just your parents or in-laws that preferred it, it would have been one thing, but if your fiance is on board too, I think the only choice at this point really is to find a way to make it work for you.
Perhaps you could do a vintage nautical that brought some of the warmth you’d envisioned. Or perhaps with your linens and color scheme you could bring a more informal air to the place. I sympathize and am sorry you’re in this predicament, but think that in time you may be able to see the venue in a more positive light once you’ve mourned and let the other one go.
Post # 5
If your venue is truly so nice and so beautiful that everyone but you — including your FI — is convinced that it is the best option, and you would forfeit $2,500 if you changed your venue, I honestly would keep your venue. There certainly could be other forms of “regret” you could end up experiencing as you move forward in this process, and you likely will not be able to make some of those changes either. As long as what you have is really nice, and you’ve already put down a deposit, I wouldn’t change it.
Post # 6
Thanks so much guys. I think that this is exactly what I needed to hear. I had a couple glasses of wine last night, mourned my heart out, and now I’m ready to move forward. No looking back! I’m definitely going to try my hardest to make this venue ME. Even thinking of bringing in some burlap . . .lol. Thanks again for the tough love! =)