- 2 years ago
- Wedding: May 2016
I am researching prices and venues for a ceremony that might be just us, might be up to 30 people (50 absolute max), and the prices even for simple ceremonies are discouraging. We really can’t spend much on this, and I don’t have family at all and we don’t want FI’s family to pay for anything (they are actually so immobile due to age-related, medical issues they can’t even come unless we get married in their living room, which we really don’t want to do L )
Fi is adamant about not wanting a JP wedding, because he made me wait so long for him to propose, and he wants me to not feel cheated out of a “real” if small wedding, with a real (simple and inexpensive) dress, and a couple of very close friends, and another ordained friend has offered to officiate. It’s silly, but I’d also like a small bouquet (I can make it myself from flowers at the grocery store) and a small cake. I don’t think we can even swing feeding guests, unless one of the cheaper packages seems okay to FI.
I have found a few places that might work in our under $1500 total budget for this (FI wants under 500 – bleh), and we’re not making plans for anything till next May/June, but geez. This is just illustrating a little too much how well off our friends, about 30 of whom have gotten married since 2010, really are. True, many have large families who can spread and absorb costs, and some even have oil-money in their families, but I don’t want our small event to look cheap to them if we’re able to invite people. They were all able to have very nice, classy events, and now that I’ve looked at the venues, my word they are pricey, 2,500 is the lowest, 5K the average start, and includes little more than the space – food, drinks, cake, flowers, photos and officiant are all extra for most of them.
I don’t want them to look at us as being cheap or trashy – I don’t think they will, necessarily, but I’ve found for people with family to help them with things, they don’t really understand what it’s like for those without. And, admittedly, I have a sensitive spot about it – I live in a region where close family is the norm.
I’m just being silly, I guess, but I never realized being here, engaged and trying to find a way to get married now would make me this emotional. I hate feeling poor and alone in the world. It’s MY family that’s traditionally supposed to help, but they are so awful I have been advised to have no contact with them for my own well-being. But this makes me feel that it should be ME able to save and take care of the ceremony and any sort of reception.
All I really want is a nice day, outside, with FI to become his wife, and celebrate a little with a few people, and then to be able to take a few days off work, and have some sort of under $2K honeymoon.
This is also making FI feel kinda sad, that he can’t easily give me a simple, pretty wedding without lots of scrimping on our parts, like he can’t provide for us. So I can’t bug him about this stuff bothering me.
Just needed to complain – sorry.