Post # 1
I have a dilemma. When we got engaged, FI and I decided pretty quickly we were sure we wanted our wedding date to be November 10, 2012 (11/10/12). We were really set on that date because it isn’t too close to Thanksgiving, and is also very much still in the fall. If you look at a calendar of next November, we know we DO NOT want November 3, we REALLY want November 10, and November 17 is 5 days before Thanksgiving. The 10th worked the best.
Well, we recently decided where we wanted our venue, and when I called to set up a day to meet with them, they told me 11/10/12 was booked. I was very upset to say the least. I still scheduled a date with them to visit, but after talking it over with my FI we decided to look elsewhere, as we were really set on that date. I called and canceled. 🙁
We haven’t seen any venue as nice as the one we wanted that is also in our price range. We have looked at many venues online, but the ones we have it narrowed down to are either WAY out of our price range or they aren’t nearly as nice as our first choice.
My FI and my family says we should still go with our first option on the venue, and the date will have to be a different one. I wish it were that easy for me to decide!
So bees.. I need your help!! Do I call the first choice venue back and apologize for canceling our date to visit and just pick a different date? Do I go with a not-so-great venue that can offer our date? Do I pick a venue that is very nice that we probably can’t afford but still has our date available?
I feel like any date that isn’t 11/10/12 I will be saying “oh look, it’s the 10th, we would be getting married today if we picked a different venue”. I know I have to compromise either way.
Ughhh any help is appreciated!!!
Post # 3
Personally, the venue is way more important to me than the date. I looked at about 50 venues online and 12 ‘in the flesh’ and ours was perfect, the others had too many problems, so we’d def have changed the date rather than the venue. Ultimately the date doesn’t really matter IMPO, you’re not going to look back and think ‘Oh god, I wish we hadn’t married on the 17th November/married in October’, whereas if you compromise on the venue you might look back and think ‘I wish we’d gone with our first choice’.
Post # 4
It sounds like the date is more important to you. To me the venue was much more important, but everyone is different. You have to decide which of the two you would regret more. I’d be careful going with a more expensive venue, costs can add up quickly.
Post # 5
I think the venue is more important than the date, but that’s just me. I would rather have a great venue that I loved, within my price range, on whatever date than a venue I really wasn’t in love with. We sort of had a similar problem – we had our hearts set on a venue and they had no more saturdays left for next summer, so we had to go with a friday.
Post # 6
If it were me, I would definitely go with the venue I loved. A similar thing happened to us and we did not get our first choice date, but I was not as strongly attached so it was not too big of a problem. I think when November 10th comes you will either be so happy because you just got married or so excited because you are about to get married that you won’t be thinking about what could have been.
That being said, it’s true that different things are priorities for different people, so I wouldn’t blame you for choosing a different venue if the date is at the top of your list.
Just curious, why don’t you want to get married November 3?
Post # 7
In order to get the church we wanted, we had to go with our second-choice date. It was 100% worth it. The date is just a number, the venue is what all of your memories are going to be of.
Post # 8
My suggestion? Try for a Sunday wedding. It’s only one day later so it’s still in that perfect timeframe that you want, it’s more likely to be available at your venue and it may even be cheaper.
Post # 9
We originally wanted 10/2/10 but the venue we wanted (and ended up getting married at) was only available two weekends in August. I had not wanted an August wedding at all! However it ended up not mattering about the date because the venue was exactly what we wanted! And to be honest, I didnt even think about it on 10/2/10 that it wouldve been our wedding date because our wedding would have been awesome regardless of the day it was on!
Post # 10
I would go with the venue especially since you really love it. I was told to have 3 or 4 dates in mind because more than likely 2 of them will be taken. I have a similar situation because we want a summer outdoor reception. It’s difficult for us to find a venue that will accommodate all our criteria. Good luck!
Post # 11
It really comes down to what you care more about, and it honestly sounds like its the date. I would look for another venue.
The date was more important for us when we were searching for a venue as well (it was our dating anniversary), but we started about 2 years out, so we really had our pick of venues in our area.
Post # 12
I understand having your heart set on a date, but I think the venue is much more important. We have changed our date THAT many times, we had the most perfect date but our fav venue was booked. We tried really hard with our 2nd and third choice venues but they really didn’t compare, so we’ve changed our date to suit our venue and so happy with the decision. Once you rebase yourself around a new date, it becomes your wedding date and it will feel right.
Post # 13
I’m also curious why you’re so adamant about not having it November 3rd?
Post # 14
The venue is much more important than the date, IMO. Go with the venue you both love and can afford and pick a date they are available. Trust me – whatever date you end up getting married will be WAY more special than keeping the “prefered” date.
Post # 15
Thank you so much for the advice bees!! It helps a lot.
The date was important to me because its the day you celebrate your wedding and then also all of your anniversaries. We will be celebrating that date every year, but not so much the venue. (If that makes any sense)
I felt like the venue didn’t matter as much as the date, but after an overwhelming amount of people disagreeing with that thought, I am reconsidering.
We didn’t want November 3rd for personal reasons, its just not a good date. With that being said, we may even have to consider October.
Post # 16
for us, the date really did not matter. we had a general idea of when would be good, but we really just chose the date because it was the only one open at the venue we loved. it sounds like you’re really set about this date, but think of it this way: no matter when the date is, it will be from then on be completely special. for us, august 7th meant literally nothing to us before; now it’s the best 🙂