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i went to a wedding a couple years ago at paradise ridge winery in santa rosa--it was really lovely! no idea of the cost since i was a guest though...
Any chance you'd consider the Livermore/Pleasanton area instead of Napa? It's about an hour east of San Francisco and there are some really beautiful vineyards.
Have you tried Livermore or other bay area wineries? The Napa area is normally quite pricey and might be better off looking in less well known areas.
Some suggestions
I'm getting married in napa and looked at a ton of venues. It's really going to be hard to find something in your budget. I think a lot depends on the number of people. I would look at the Chardonnay Golf Course in American Canyon. They have a smaller venue (ceremony under a big tree and reception in the club house) and their prices aren't too bad. they are a golf course but have vines around the holes.
I would also suggest looking at smaller wineries outside of Napa. Look at Santa Rosa or even Petaluma. the only issue with wineries is a lot of times you have to bring in everything...like chairs and tables. That gets expensive.
You most likely won't find a winery who will be that inexpensive, a lot of places out here want $10,000 just for the site fee! Check out Mark West Lodge in Santa Rosa. I believe they have a $10,000 package that would include everything. The coordinator, Ali, is so sweet and the space is very beautiful.
What about finding a venue that just happens to have a vineyard on it? That is what I did. It is nearly impossible to find a winery in our area that starts less that $8-10,000 without the cost of food etc.
I would look into wineries outside Sonoma and Napa if your heart is set on that. Otherwise there is the Grand Island Mansion (my wedding is there in May 2012). They start at $2,500 for rental and they have a vineyard on site (kind of see here in the photo).
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I'm finding it extremely hard to find a venue in Napa for our wedding. We are getting married next year (2012) June.and want to get married amongst the vineyards..I've looked in Sonoma, Napa, Healdsburg, and Santa Rosa..and I need to find a venue that will be $11K total (rental fee and catering) ..any suggestions....we need HELP!!
thank you