- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
Hello guys, I would really appriciate your advice on my relationship, i will try and keep it as breif and factual as possible….
Im 26 hes 41. He has more money and assets than me. we have been together for 3.5 years lived together for 2. Been inseperable since we met. We are supposed to be gettning married in a year.
He asked me to sign a prenup, I agreeed, it came, it really really upset and insulting me, it had stuff in it that was nothing to do with money such as custody of children, who and where I should live with after divorce. What country I could live in.
Completly ott like he didnt trust me atalll and he wanted all areas covered should our relationship fail. I feel so upset and angry.
We argued, I was quite awful to him argueing and giving him the cold shoulder. I was waiting for him to make a gesture, beg me not to leave, …. it didn’t come.
Instead after me threatening to leave , he suddenly decides to take charge and tell us to go on a break. I was devastated.
The break starts today and consists of us not seeing each other for a week and not speaking. (we live together but i will be visiting my parents and he is working away for a few days)
Last night we sat and talked and he admitted to me that he feels like he is confused about marriage. He is 41 years old! I asked him is it cos of me and he told me that he thinks in some ways im the perfect girl for him that he doesnt want to be alone but also he has a fear of commitment, and maybe he cant be with someone for the rest of his life. he is scared he will want to leave. Although he says he has no desire to now, but he admits that he has lost a bit of love for me since the arguements with the prenup. He says hes never cheated on me and he doesnt want to be with anyone else now…. so why is he even thinking that he can’t commit to me. Before me he was in a realtionship for 10 years. They did have a few breaks though and were never really what i would consider serious
He says im perfect for him and he wont find anyone better… but he says hes confused and a part of him doesnt want to get married.
He says he loves me but isnt excited for the wedding and doesnt get that feeling of wow im getting married and im so happy about it.
His parents have both been divorced twice. I dont know if that could have something to do with it. His sister has been through the same but she seems to be happily married! I dont understand anything and I am scared to accept and try and work through the relationaship with so many red flags. Yet I want to cling on to this man I love and says he loves me and thinks we can be happy together…. I dont know what to do. Please help