Very confused long-distance in law problem!

posted 3 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 3
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@confusedbee25:  I would go on the trip with them after the wedding. You are right that you will be way too stressed and busy to do anything right before. You might be kind of bummed out that you don’t get to do a honeymoon right away, but it doesn’t sound like you would have to wait very long and I’m sure both your FI and his family would really appreciate being able to spend time together. My DH and I won’t get to go on a honeymoon til almost a year after our wedding. It sucks, but life’s complicated and we have responsibilities outside of just being in love with each other. But, this is just my opinion.

Post # 4
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@confusedbee25:  You said you want to maximize their time, so I would go on the trip. You won’t have time or energy to go beforehand. I think it could be a lot of fun, and since you guys have your own room, you will still get to experience it as a newlywed couple. Think of it as a honeymoon before the honeymoon. Fun!

Post # 6
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i would do family trip- my fil and his wife took her sister and her mother to california to see the sites( they came from an asian country) the day after their wedding- spent a week with the family and then two weeks later they went to hawaii just the two of them.

Post # 7
Member
2115 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Can your in-laws not fly in earlier, and you can spend some time with them before the wedding? 

I don’t think your feelings are unjustified at all – I think the time after your wedding should be about you and your new husband, and what you two want to do, not spending it with his family. 

Post # 9
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I can see why you would be kind of upset…but I can also see their side.  If they are spending all this money coming out, maybe you guys can just bite the bullet and go on a trip with them and then go on your official honeymoon a little bit later?  I know it might not be ideal…but I think you guys should at least make the effort. Maybe you can go on a trip with them, and then you and your FI go on a seperate leg of the trip?  Maybe their is a way to meet in the middle halfway (idea wise, not location wise?)

Post # 10
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We’re flying into Ireland a week ahead, doing a wedding in Ireland on Saturday, then flying out to India on Wednesday and having another wedding on Friday! My parents are coming to India too so we’ll be travelling with them and FFIL for a week or so after the wedding before heading back to Australia for work. So we don’t have time for a proper honeymoon. Our compromise is that we’re going to have a couple of days to ourselves while in India then do the honeymoon at a later stage. 

Post # 13
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We had a delayed honeymoon, but we went on a mini-moon for 5 nights, and it was an excellent decision.  I think you should “fight” for at least 2-3 nights on your own first.

Post # 14
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My husband’s parents were with us a further three weeks after the wedding, as had flown over from South Africa, and our mini moon was spent with them on a canal boat, wasn’t what I expected straight after our wedding, but we had our proper honeymoon to look forward to six months later, if I had to do it again I would arrange a weekend away one month after the wedding to have something more immediate to look forward to when they had gone home

Post # 15
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@confusedbee25:  Yea, definitely talk to him and let him know how you feel…but i think spending a week alone and then meeting up with them (or vice versa) seems like a good comprimise 🙂

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