Post # 1
I wasn’t sure where to put this so i have put it in emotional because i’m upset about it…. actually i’ve been very upset lately. in the past 3 months i’ve lost 10kgs… which is good in a way… i’ve also gone down a dress size… which is a plus… but *cries* i can’t stand the way i look…..naked 🙁 I’ve gone from a size 22 to a size 10 and i look horrible… my boobs are from a Dirty Delete to a B now… and they are horrible saggyish thingys… Over the weekend i was just in tears (hiding from my partner because i dont want him to know i’m upset about it)
i’ve been getting really nervous lately about having sex… like i’m worried that he’s going to touch my tummy and think GROSS… which i know he won’t he has told me in the past that it doesn’t bother him…. but it upsets him that i’m upset and that there isn’t anything he can do to make it better 🙁 anyway… last night was terrible (and i’m sorry if this way to much information for anyone) but…. went to bed last night and he was like “tired?” lol…. but i could relax…. if ya know what i mean… i told him there was no way that he was going to be able to do anything as it would probably hurt me lol…. so i just gave him a happy ending….. But i felt so embarrassed and stupid…. i try not think about anything but i can’t help it.
I’m just so very down lately 🙁 I can’t stand the way my body looks now… i mean i love being able to fit into size 10 pants and looking good in nice clothes but i don’t feel good when i get my gear off…. and if i put weight on i feel terrible LOL its a lose lose situation here.
I guess i’m not wanting any answers…. its just not something i wanna share my close friends *cries*
Post # 3
First, congratulations on losing weight. I would love to know how you did it.
Second, I am sorry you don’t feel good about yourself. I feel the same way. Are you doing any toning exercises? That is what I am trying to do. They do help some, if I stay on track and actually do them.
Third, your partner has told you that it doesn’t bother him. He is probably telling you the truth. Mine says the same thing, but I am the same way as you. I don’t think I look good enough, so I don’t think he thinks I look good enough, even though I know in my heart that he does.
I am not sure what to tell you, since I am struggling with this issue myself. It is much easier to tell someone else that they don’t have to worry about the way they look than to to tell yourself that and believe it.
Post # 4
*HUGS* I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but I think that you just want love. Anything you want to chat about to get your mind off things?
Post # 5
Congrats for losing the weight! I agree with noritake22 about the toning exercises. Also, could you talk to your doctor to see what he/she suggests? Maybe they can give you certain exercises to do or do surgery.
Hope you feel better!
Post # 6
Congrats on the weight loss, that’s quite an accomplishment! Have you tried pilates? I really think they would help, they’re great for toning. Also, I think there are a few different firming lotions which might help too. I’ve heard these one are good: Nivea Body Skin Firming Lotion with Q10, plus Biotinm; Palmer’s Skin Firming Lotion, Cocoa Butter Formula; Jergens Skin Firming Moisturizer.
Be confident in yourself and what your fi says. Feel better soon!
Post # 7
it’s not muscle…. it’s skin…. i was over 100kgs and now i’m 60kgs… LOL looks like i’ve already had kids, i think the only way to get rid of it would be surgery and that it’s an option… dont have the money and it kindda scares me lol
I do pilates and yoga. but i might talk to my doctor next time i have to go.
Post # 8
Definitely talk to your doctor about it, he might be able to give you a bit of a timeline on when your skin might start to firm up on it’s own or how much it might cost to fix.
Post # 9
have you talked to your OBGYN about your concerns? many women experience this too although they may not discuss it. talk about it with your doctor and maybe she can give you more information.
Post # 10
I wish you all the best with this – I’m sorry I don’t have any advice beyond what everyone else has said, but your post reminded me of Miss Snow’s post back in January.
Hope your doctor has some helpful advice too!
Post # 11
I agree with the people who have suggested talking to your doctor. You might also want to consider talking to a counselor or therapist, since this issue is so upsetting to you and is affecting other areas of your life. A good therapist or counselor can often give you a safe space to talk about anything, and to help you process stuff- and since s/he isn’t one of your close friends, it can often make things less awkward and much more helpful to talk through.
I hope you feel better soon!
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
Hugs! I think many of us have felt this way at one time or another, you are not alone! If your partner has been with you so far, it seems to me that he loves you because of who you are, not what you weigh (though I know how hard it is to convince yourself of that). I hope you feel better!
Post # 13
Congratulations on losing all that weight! Just remember you are beautiful. Really there are two opinions that matter in that statement, yours and your Fiance. Have you thought about trying to talk with a mental health care professional about your perception of your image? I know when I was going through injuries and gaining back a lot of the weight I lost, it really helped to have an outside person to talk through my issues.
Post # 14
(((HUGS))) It’s got to be so frustrating to have something so important and so serious that you can’t share with people. I’m sure there are plenty of us on here who confide in other bees because it is such a comforting environment. Know that we are here supporting you! I think the other bees are right, counseling could really help you, and when you are comfortable with it talking to your fiancee could help as well. Good luck and keep us updated, please!
Post # 15
I second what everyone else has said– congrats on losing so much weight and becoming SO much healthier! Re: the bedroom issue… perhaps invest in some pretty lingerie that will cover up your trouble areas? That might make you feel more comfortable when you’re going to get started doing things. And if your Fiance is a take-it-off-in-2-min kind of guy maybe suggest you leave it on for a little longer for a while until you get used to the way you look now. He loves you…. he will do what he needs to make you feel comfortable again.
Post # 16
Firstly, big hugs. I know how you feel!!!! I have been losing weight for the past several months and am SO SELF CONCIOUS about my body. My boobs have lost weight and look gross, my belly is jiggly and my thighs are huge.
I agree that talking to a doctor and maybe a therapist is a good place to start. I have arranged to have bust reduction surgery in May which I think will really help with my body image issues. I have been trying to think about why I have all these issues and I think talking to a therapist would really help.
In the meantime, try to do things that make you feel great. Treat yourself to something, spend a little extra tiem getting ready each day so you feel beautiful, go buy some cute lingerie or sleepwear that makes you feel sexy.