Post # 1
So I’ve been struggling back and forth about this one. A little background…My future in laws, are very very religious. They do not curse (ever) they do not accept or tolerate any type of alcohol. They do not listen to any music that is not gospel or christian based BUT they are very sweet, fun, outgoing and friendly! We are 23/24 years old and they don’t “think” we drink. I think they know but they choose to not acknowledge it. My family on the other hand, NJ East Coasters, loud mouths, curse a lot LOL, drink beer and wine etc. So you can see the divide. I don’t even worry about the lifestyles crashing I’m more concerned with making people feel completely uncomfortable. I know for 100% certain that I want alcohol at my wedding. I want wine and I want champagne lol. I want others to have a good time and party and get down and celebrate with us! Should I be worrying about what my future in laws will do and feel when there will be people drinking everywhere and potentially “offensive” music to them?? I mean….what if my DJ decides to play “baby got back??” It’s just so confusing!! Help! Anyone experience any situations like this?? 🙂
Post # 3
@MissTX:Hmm, have you talked to your Fiance about previous family weddings he’s been to? That might give you a better idea of what’s expected and what’s NOT OKAY in their eyes. I would definitely mention to your DJ that he should avoid anything really explicit or sexual (there are plenty of great songs to fill an evening with that are more safe!).
I think wine and champagne are classy enough, and it seems to me like they’d probably be fine (although not drink themselves) as long as no one is really drunk and obnoxious or something. I mean… surely they’ve been in restaurants and such before where other people have alcohol.
Obviously, if your family’s being loud and fun and crazy, they might be a little surprised or think it’s weird, but it seems like it wouldn’t be too big of a deal (and really, you can’t avoid that, so try not to worry about it!). As someone who has a big loud crazy family, and had a GREAT time with them at my wedding, I definitely say you shouldn’t have to give up your big fun loud wedding… you can take certain measures to make sure they’re not offended, but I don’t think you have to throw a party the way your in-laws would throw it!
Post # 4
I mean, they must know that their lifestyle is not mainstream and that most people do not share their views. I think they’ll be fine as long as no one is blatantly offensive. It’s your day, have fun!
Post # 5
If they are as you describe them, unless you abide by their standards you are going against the grain. Only your Fiance will know if they will be really offended or not. You can ask your DJ to not play songs with swears or suggestive language and more “safe” songs, but no matter what kind of alcohol you have or music that isnt religious will be “odd” to them at best.
Just be sure they know what kind of party it will be before they go so they are not surprised. Manage expectations. Especially if you and your Fiance will be drinking the day of.
Post # 6
OMG! this is sooooo our situation! My Fiance’s family is very relious they are LDS Mormon. My family is not, and my Fiance is not active, and he drinks. So we have decided, it is our wedding, however I dont want to forcefully make them uncomfortable. So we decided, instead of a full bar, to have a bar option, for those who choose to drink thats great, for those that dont wish to do not have to.
I dont want to be rude. the past two family weddings I have been to on my Fiance side, no food just little snacks, no dancing, no alcohol.
All my family weddings are incredibly different.
Alcohol, dancing and full dinner… it will be a much different experience for his side of the family, but I have had many discussions with my Fiance and he doesnt want to change what we want to do as I am trying to be cautious.
I am very loud, and curse alot! everytime we are visiting his family i have to THINK about making sure i use different words! eeeek! I am not trying to be rude and not think about them, but I am going to dance the night away and enjoy a drink or two!
I think they “pretend” my fiance doesnt drink…
I have asked my DJ to make sure teh versions of his songs dont include the curse words, and he said that is not a problem! But I am for sure going to be dancing to some booty songs hehe! I actually want the first song to get everyone on the dance floor to be, “I like big Butts” hahahah I have always loved dancing like a FOOL to this song! 🙂 hehehe
Post # 7
I have the same situation going on as you, so I feel your pain lol. My FI’s entire family is LDS, so they are super conservative… don’t drink, curse, anything! Which is totally fine! My family on the other hand, drink and curse like sailors lol. I was worried about it in the beginning but now I really don’t care, well I’ve just decided not to worry about it haha. I respect theire beliefs and lifestyle choices and they need to respect others as well, ya know? No one is making them do anything they don’t want to do, and if they honestly can’t stand the sight of someone drinking, then I would rather have them leave anyways. I don’t think it will be a problem though, they know we are getting married in New Orleans for a reason 😉