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We're thinking of taking our guests out to a very high end restaurant for our "reception" instead of having a catered reception with dancing/band/dj/first dance etc. We'll be having a private room, full open bar, great food and a cake but none of the other traditional elements. No dancing.
Our wedding will be in Vegas so people will have traveled to get there. My partner does not want to host other events like a brunch for people - just the best food we can find for one really great dinner for our guests. I'm worried people will not think it is "enough" even though the dinner will be so high end?
Also do you think you'd enjoy this rather than a traditional reception - I'm a foodie so the food is the most important thing to me, but I am curious to hear what others think.
We actually considered this option. We care a lot about the food and not so much about the dancing. The only reason we didn't do it was the restuarant location we wanted did not have an outdoor space or private room. I think it's a great idea as long as you'll have your own private room. Also, you don't have to pay for linens, etc. like bringing in a caterer.
There are plenty of places to go dancing in Vegas afterward if you want to!:-)
@arizonabride - that is what i was thinking too - we can always go dancing on our own but - do you think people would expect us to pay for them to go dancing too? That's what I am wondering, if we have to host other events.
I think you could work it out so that people did not expect you to pay. It's Vegas and you could say it's a "No Host Afterparty", right? Or maybe you could go somewhere where they do bottle service and just pay for the first bottle or minimum? I don't know how many people you are expecting, but that could work.
Sorry about my typing! Good thing for the edit option!
I agree with arizona. It would be nice to have a no host afterparty for those you love to dance.
I would be bummed if it was somewhere else and no dancing. Just because, it would probably be a little boring. But, IT IS VEGAS. OMG. So I wouldn't care about the reception--I can totally go out anywhere afterwards becasue well, it's vegas and it doesn't close...OMG!
So, I think you know what I voted for.
thx. i don't even know if we'll want to have any dancing even after (my partner says the afterparty only has two guests - me and him hahaha).
i just keep reading about people hosting all these events at destination weddings and I'm worried that people will think badly of us if we don't do that. i have been to many weddings overseas and in other cities and never thought much about this but now I'm worried!
My partner wants to have one great dinner and blow our budget on that.
Alright, I hope I don't bum you out with my opinion but honestly, I would be very disappointed if I went to a destination wedding and there was no dancing. But that's just me. If you guys aren't into dancing and if you feel your guests won't care or expect it, then go for a fancy dinner! But personally, I feel like half the fun of going to a wedding is dancing with all your friends and family, to me that's where the celebrating comes in...But it's your wedding and your day so do what makes you happy!
what would you guys think if we got everyone discounted or we paid for passes to a club or something after the dinner?
Wildstyle, I lived in Vegas for three years--there are PLENTY of options for people to get their dance on after the dinner!!! If you're worried about providing enough for the guests, I do have an idea. At nearly all of the high-end clubs in Vegas, bottle service is an option, especially if you have a large party, arrange it in advance, or both. It's basically where you get a private sit-down area and they bring you a few bottles of liquor and different mixers/garnishes. I think it usually costs about $500. I don't know if you can find an extra $500 in the budget, but it would be an add-on to the dinner if you felt like you needed to do more.
PS--what restaurant are you going to?? There are so many incredible ones!
Go for it!!! This is almost exactly what we did (except in Chicago, not Vegas) -- have amazing food, open bar, and no dancing -- and seriously, everyone from our twenty-something friends to our older relatives raved about our wedding. (I mean, obviously people probably wouldn't tell me if they were disappointed there was no dancing, but I don't think they would have been as over-the-top in praising the reception if they'd been disappointed).
I think for our reception, it helped a bit that we had an afternoon reception, so people were probably less inclined to expect dancing anyway (and doing the meal in the afternoon instead of evening also helped with the costs). We also tried to include a fun activity -- having a faux photobooth with digital camera and photo printer, with props set up -- so people would have another reason to get up and mingle.
We also had some after-party type activities that we invited everyone to join us at -- in our case, it was hanging out on the hotel rooftop deck and then going out to see fireworks from a boat off Navy Pier. I think inviting people to go out to a club/lounge afterwards is a great idea, and then anyone who wants to dance would probably enjoy it more anyway. Personally, I love dancing, but I feel like DJs at weddings tend to be cheesy and it's hard to please everyone.
Anyway, long answer, but I really think the upshot for me was that, for your guests, if you provide amazing food, cake, and open bar (plus maybe one activity so people have an excuse to get out of their seats), they'll have a great time.
I voted for go for it!
And here is why - Personally I LOVE to dance - I met my finace while dancing at a club so it just makes sense that at my wedding I will be the first one on the dance floor and the last one to leave!
However, this doesn't sound like it is you or your fiance. As a civilized adult I also really enjoy a night out drinking, eating and talking with friends and that sounds more like what you are going for! It sounds wonderful to me and you can always have an after-party or suggest somewhere for guests to go and party afterward!
It sounds wonderful to me - so I say go for it!
Ok I'm sorry to burst your bubble but I went to a wedding just like this a few months ago in Vegas and I have to say it was a disappointment. We went to the ceremony and then to a very nice dinner, (delicious), but without the dancing and a few other wedding touches, it just didn't feel like a wedding celebration. It just felt like a nice dinner. I think food is obviously great but the celebration part of a wedding comes with the dancing and the wedding touches, (first dance, cake cutting, speaches, slid show?, etc).
I voted for food =) Seriously ... you have the very best dinners in Vegas! There is plenty of fun to get distracted by ... you'll be everywhere! Where is dinner? Wynns new Encore hotel has the best food ever!
I've been to a wedding like this and it was very special and elegant. I think its different (in a good way) from the typical wedding.
Like others have been saying, there are TONS of options for guests to party afterwards! I think it would be great if you set up a "no host after party" -- you don't have to attend, just let your guests know that there is a room at a club near the reception reserved for them.
In the end, its your reception and your guests will be happy to be there to celebrate with you. Your wedding isn't about pleasing everyone!
I think the hardest part of the one hour time frame, in my mind, would be how short a time it would mean spending with you guys. Yes, destination is great fun for the sake of destination, but if I want to go to Vegas just to go, I wouldn't wait around for a wedding. If I'm going for your wedding, I would appreciate having at least a few minutes to chat with you at the reception - so if you're eating for half an hour and only socializing for half an hour, that's not a lot of time per-guest (unless you've only got six guests, haha).
You guys are great. Thanks for all the comments. They are really making me rethink this idea.
My partner is ADAMANT about not having a traditional wedding (he is from an uber traditional family and I am not) and I do want to respect his wishes and that is why he loves this idea so much. I love the idea as well but maybe just b/c I love celebrity chefs and we would be going to a celeb chef place (we were thinking about Craft Steak - craft is my favorite place!).
We like dancing but most wedding DJs are kind of not my style. In fact, not to offend anyone but the really over the top wedding Djs - they kind of scare me - you know how people are scared of clowns??
I am also not a fan of most of the traditional stuff but I do think that this might not be "wedding - y" enough for me. I might rethink this one a little.
My original idea was a reception in the Foundation Room, which is an awesome restuarant and private night club. I love this idea more than Craft Steak but my partner is worried about the food.
I'm all for untraditional weddings. But I think it is nice being able to mingle and mix at weddings. Maybe would it be possible to still have cocktails? I just love getting to walk around and chat with people at weddings. For me the food part is the least exciting aspect. But thats just me.
I don't think you should rethink this idea - just adapt it! I think having a cocktail hour before that is more mix and mingly, like sharcharades said, and then arranging for a place for people to dance afterwards, would be perfect! Your guests are so lucky to have such a delicious dinner.
Considering your destination location is VEGAS, I don't think you need to worry about what people will do after dinner! I think it's perfect, you're feeding everyone an awesome meal at a well known Vegas restaurant and they will already be dressed up to go out on the town and do whatever they want. I'm seriously excited about your wedding idea!!!
Okay hmm...maybe I won't re tool it as much then since a lot of you seem to like it! My partner loves the idea of an upscale dinner as do I. Maybe we could do the cocktail hour and the bottle service after as was suggested by carrie.
I mean, I hear those of you that weighed in on it not seeming like a wedding per se, but I guess that might be kind of the idea I'm going for. Even if we go for a more traditional reception there will be no bouquet toss, special dances, cake cutting ceremony etc. I don't even care if we have a wedding cake! So our wedding may not feel very much like a wedding no matter what I do which I am sure will disappoint some peeps but - I guess I can give them some quarters and point them towards the slots. :)
We just want to party Vegas style!
1. I LOVE the Foundation Room. Very nice and the food is great.
2. I think Daydreamwanderer really hit the nail on the head. People aren't going to Vegas to just go to Vegas and go out clubbing with their dates/traveling companions. They're going for your wedding. They wan't to socialize with YOU and celebrate with YOU and be around YOU. I think if you're thinking of dinner and then everyone heading to a club, (including you and your partner), that's one thing and would work. But if you're just seding people to a club but you won't be there....eh. Maybe it's just me,but I could go to a club any time. What I'd really want to do is dance, celebrate and have fun with the newleyweds.
Wow, the Foundation Room would be SOOO cool, if it's anything like the Foundation Room here in Houston. We had dinner there a couple of months ago and even talked to the manager about doing an event there. But, I suspect it'd be a bit out of our price range since we'd have to join the Foundation Room first (which is why we ended booking our reception at the dining club where we DO have a membership in connection with our health club/gym). But, I'd so love to go to a reception @ the Foundation Room. Some cocktails and dinner there would be great. I'm not a big dance type, but I don't know that I'd want to have a dance @ the one in Houston.
By the way, the food we had at the Foundation Room here was excellent--on par with many of the best restaurants we've been to. Service was good too.
@meowkers - I know. LOVE the foundation room. That was totally my first choice and still is but my partner doesn't like it for some reason I can't figure out. And I totally hear what you are saying on all fronts.
Since I started this thread I have emailed a few other nightclubs to see about renting one of them to have our reception in them - I guess I am trying to avoid a ballroom/hotel reception in favor of something more funky and different.
We were originally having a very traditional wedding but we were both absolutely miserable with what that event was turning into - my partners mothers wedding, not ours. Didn't want a wedding party and ended up with three bridesmaids for example.
He was especially unhappy and we're paying not only for the wedding, but for the flights of his family to come from overseas and mine from New York - so I don't want either of us to be unhappy about it at all.
I wish there were another poll option. I don't necessarily think you have to host dancing. There are tons of clubs (some you can coordinate free admission). I would like to see some traditional wedding elements to make it seem more wedding-y. Some sentimental toasts and reflections on you as a couple would be nice. Favors that are special to you. A cake cutting. A first dance. Anything. Otherwise, what separates this dinner from a dinner out at our local high end resto. Good luck. Sounds like whatever you decide, your reception will be fabulous.
another vote for the foundation room huh?? I know -my fave too! maybe i can tell my honey all of the positive things you guys have said.
@iswim - you can rent a room at the foundation room without being a member. expensive yes, but they were willing to negotiate. the minimums are the issue - they are high and i don't think we will have more than 50. but i got them to knock 2500 off the minimum the orginally quoted me - i'm still hoping for it. it looks beautiful and very cool - and we could have dancing there and then our crowd could join the party in the other parts of the club after if they wanted.
they have their own dj that does weddings for 1K - i imagine he might be a very good dj since he works at a place like that.
FOOD!!!
That's usually what people remember most. We're having our wedding at a restaurant that doesn't have room for dancing... but the dinner itself will make up for the lack of dancing. haha I only wish we could dance so we don't have to roll anyone home. My guests & I will be so fat once we're done eating. :)
I love this idea! The only risk is if people are in the mood to party (it IS Vegas!) they may leave early to find excitement elsewhere. Although, that does mean the wedding night can start sooner!
I've never been to a wedding in Vegas, but your plan sounds good to me! Who wouldn't want a super yummy meal?! And so what if it's not a "traditional" wedding... it's what you and your FI make of it! :)
In response to people that say it wouldn't feel like a wedding, I disagree. The wedding I went to that was like this still very much felt like a wedding - BECAUSE I JUST WATCHED THEM GET MARRIED! I don't think you need a cake cutting or first dance for it to be a "real" wedding - you just need the ceremony! You should celebrate how YOU want to, not how other people think you should.
Having said that, someone made a good point that your guests will want to spend time with you and your partner, and just one dinner may not be enough. I know its important to your partner to have an after party for two, haha, so if you aren't going to go out dancing with everyone, maybe think about having a welcome party / rehearsal dinner, or having a day after brunch? Of course you don't have to, but I would be slightly disappointed if I made a weekend trip to Vegas for someone's wedding and only saw them for a few hours.
Also, I don't know if I'm out in left field, but it seems like you are stressing over making sure your partner is pleased with all of this. Of course it is his day as well, but you should also have what you want! Don't compromise on your desires. You should be able to be as vocal about what you want as he is!
I would not like to attend a wedding with no dancing and carrying-on, especially if i traveled for it. I can eat a very nice meal in town, but i can't dance with all of my friends and family! I don't know - i feel like unless you plan some kind of party or at least a meeting or VIP area of some club, it'll feel less wedding-y. If that's ok, go for it. But, that would def not be for me.
This is only my opinion and I'll temper it by stating that I wouldn't be THAT upset either way... but for me... I would prefer more dancing/events and less fancy food. Of course, I'm also the kind of person who doesn't like fancy restaurants period because I just prefer simple food. Generally when I'm offered fancy food I just pass... so if you have many guests like me they'll be pretty bored :) But I think that my food tastes are relatively rare so take it for what you will.
i went to a wedding in las vegas where after dinner we went to a vip section at tao. we each paid $40 for table service and for the room where we hung out, but it was worth it. so maybe you can organize something like that but ask folks to pay for it. only the young people will probably want to go anyway. it was a really fun night and we had no problem spending the $40.
I'm going to chime here again because I didn't realize at first that you were planning on maybe not attending the after party. I have to say that if I traveled to Vegas to your wedding, I'd be bummed if you didn't hang out at least for a little while at the after party, but I'd understand. The only thing I care about more than the food and the ceremony is getting a chance to hang out with the HC!
I think it's gonna be great! Again, if you want to have all the guests and party go downstairs or to a club inside your hotel and dance the night away after if you want to!
Vegas is good like that!
Thanks for all the comments guys!! But waaaaait a minute. I was jokung about thew two person afterparty - 100% we would attend an afterparty - what the heck would be the point of us not going? I
@daniellemybelle - yes, you hit the nail on the head. i'm trying so hard to please my partner who only seems to care about rejecting every tradition on the planet! It's getting on my nerves b/c I've had nothing tradtional in my life whatsoever - I had a crazy upbringing with no rules, was on my own at 16 - I'm not % comfortable with tradition but I feel like he is trying so hard to be different it's making things hard.
Wildstyle, your wedding is about both of you. If you want some traditions, he should respect that. You should remind them that your #1 goal shouldn't be to reject tradition but to reflect the BOTH of you as a couple!
@daniellemybelle - thank you for the support. i do think that i'm not making my voice heard enough. im usually a bit of a domineering person and i might be overcompensating for that now.
my partner is always really keen on rebelling against his more traditonal family and it's hard for me to get excited about being rebels and bucking tradition. i have a very small extended family that is very open minded - and my own parents were not actually even married and this was buckng tradtion big time in the 70s when i was a kid. i always joke that i probably didn't wear clothes until i was 8 or so!
don't get me wrong - i cringe at the idea of certain traditional wedding things - i'm shy so how scared am i of the first dance? - but i think being different just to be different is tiring.
I am also having a destination wedding (Hawaii) and am doing the same thing - having it at a nice restaurant instead. I've been a bridesmaid 4 times, and at the last wedding, there was no dancing b/c it was at an Asian restaurant. At first I thought, oh, that's a bit strange, but in the end, it was great. The couple spent way more time talking aand chatting with guests b/c there was no dancing, more games were played so people were entertained throughout dinner. It was wonderful. The key thing was to celebrate with our friends who were getting married. Period. It didn't matter about the drinks, the food even really (we were too busy to eat) - it was about the conversation, the laughter, the tears of joy... that was what was most important : ) Besides - it's Vegas!!! There's tons of dancing available any other night.
Wildstyle, I'm in your same boat! I couldn't care less about a cake or bouquet toss, and we're definitely not having any dancing. There is so much more to do in Vegas. I'm working on coordinating everyone going to a show the evening of the wedding... Since the guests will be travelling I do think more effort than just dinner would be nice.
Another idea to consider is renting a suite and having a reception or after-party there, perhaps after dinner? I'm absolutely enthralled with this idea but FI doesn't care for it.
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