- 8 years ago
I am a regular bee poster but I have created a pseudo account for the purposes of keeping things private.
My FI and I have been together for nearly 2 years. We had a LDR for a year because of work. Now he is back home. We are less than 2 months from the big day and I am having some doubts. BIG doubts. I love him dearly. He is kind, gentle, and loving. I could go on about the million reasons I love him and why we get along so very well.
So what is the problem? I have had a nagging feeling for the last month or so. My gut kept telling mie things are not as perfect as they seem and no relationship is this perfect. The feeling got worse after last week when we were going through our outstanding balances for the wedding and he logged into his bank account. After looking at the screen I asked him if that was all the money he had left? He said the wedding money is in his savings account. I asked him to show me the balance. He then told me his savings and checking aren’t linked and that he cannot see the balance online. I knew this was a lie because we both have the same bank and I know the online banking website like the back of my hand. I told him how he could look at his balances for all his accounts but he refused and stated he could not because it wasn’t linked. I decided I would give up and we worked on the budget together.
Well… I decided to follow my gut this morning while he was at work (he starts work way before me). While he was away workinng for a year I paid some of his bills for him (with his money) so I have his banking information. I decided to call the automated banking line with his information to check the savings and checking account balances. Why? Because the incident about the balance last week has been really getting to me and I coudl just feel he was lying. Well my gut instincts were confirmed. His savings account does not even have enough money to finish paying the caterer, yet alone the rest of our balances. I am pretty angry that he lied to me and even more angry that he has yet to say ANYTHING about not having enough money!
At this point we are contractual obliglated to pay 3900 bucks to all wedding vendors. There is no cutting corners or guest lists to save money. This is our bare minimum that must be paid. It really doesnt seem like much left to pay BUT our wedding is less than 2 months away and I know how much he will bring home after we pay bills, etc. and it would be almost impossible to do it. I don’t make much money and I never wanted the big wedding, he did. Because of this, he said he would pay for it. I did purchase my own dress, hair makeup and pay for the photographer. We have no help whatsoever from family and I am starting to feel a bit jaded about the whole ordeal.
I am starting to question what else has he lied about and why he felt it was ok to keep this secret. I am really at a loss for words at this point and I am feeling like I may be making a mistake. I am just hell bound on not being takin for a ride and being in control of our finances. When my grandpa died my grandma didn’t even know how to write a check. She didn’t know my grandpa had mortgaged the house and the boat. I will be damned if that ever happens to me.