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I feel your pain. I was thinking the same way you are when I first started as well. But I watched my cousin have her wedding this summer and found out how it really happens. Vietnamese guests do RSVP... when they ARE coming. They do NOT RSVP when they are not coming. So just expect to get YES RSVPS. The only problem you might have is that people do have a tendency to write in their own number of guests. That's when phone calls will be helpful. But my cousin didn't have problems with people showing up without RSVPing. She also did assigned seating and it worked out fine. She had the aunts and uncles serve as escorts and seated guests. It worked out really well and aunts and uncles actually liked doing it. My FI (White American) and I (Vietnamese American) are also having a cocktail hour, but we compromised with our parents and will be doing a recieving line to greet arriving guests and to take a picture with them. Another one of my cousins said that those first greet pictures mean a great deal for her and that people who don't do it end up not having pictures of all their guests sometimes. Hope that helps. And good luck!
Thank you so much. That really helps. The only problem I have is my church says we are not allowed to have a receiving line. I'll have to figure something out. Thanks again!
Ugh, my fiance is vietnamese. His mom and brother's guests did not rsvp. I've asked my fiance to ask his mom and bro to tell us if they're coming. I feel like they don't want to 'trouble' them by asking so they just tell us 'yeah, they're coming' or 'they're just lazy to rsvp'. It's so frustrating. I wish I can contact them myself but a few of them can't really speak english (I'm not viet). I asked my fiance to do it but he's shy too.
Our wedding is next weekend. I'll tell you how it turned out. I'm happy that everyone on my side is accounted for tho :/.
klcantwait : hope your wedding will be beautyful
I'm going through the same problem with the RSVP now..people are so irresponsible and didn't understand that we having an american wedding. We can't just add them in if they don't RSVP.
Wow, I had no idea this was an issue. My FI is Vietnamese, and while most of his family is fairly 'westernized', it's the ones we don't know very well that are still very Vietnamese - so we'll already feel somewhat uncomfortable calling them if we don't hear from them. Thanks for the heads up. I'll have to think about how to deal with this...
@gill84: For that, you should have his parents call to see if they are coming. That will definitely be very helpful especially since they will know the family so much more.
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This is similar to the Phillipino post but not exactly.
I just heard from my sister that Vietnamese usually don't RSVP. Also, if they don't RSVP, it is not appropriate to call them and ask them if they are coming. How am I suppose to give my caterer a final count?
Has anyone had to deal with this problem? This is a budgeted wedding and I can't just add a full table for people who "might" come.
Also, I'm planning on having assigned seating. I don't want the people who didn't bother to RSVP sitting at a table where other people are sitting.
BTW, I'm vietnamese, my FH is american. We invited about 170 guests.
And we are having food stations, so there's really no time to go from table to table asking people for toasts. We are having a cocktail hour, we I can do a lot of meeting and greeting. Will that be ok?