Post # 1
Let me start off by saying that my wedding is still on, and the planning is going (somewhat) smoothly. I know my subject line would indicate that something is wrong with my wedding. It’s just…you bees are so supportive and full of good advice. In previous posts, I have talked about my orange Persian cat, Sweeney Todd and his battle with Chronic Kidney Disease. Well, I had to put him down on Saturday. I’m feeling pretty bummed about it (he was only 5) and I’m just exhausted. Just the last 2 months have been crazy for me…I took the certified paralegal exam a couple weeks ago (and I could very well fail because I was so focused on taking care of my cat), last week I found out I had to put my cat down and put him down on Saturday, and last Monday, FI and I hit a bump in the road (a minor bump, but a bump nonetheless.) I just feel like all aspects of my life are completely out of control. If it was in my power to change these things, I would, and I would not blame anyone else for my stress, but it just seems like a sh**storm of awful things that I can’t control, and I have no way to sit down and breathe. I have started drinking a lot, which I feel will get to a dangerous point if I continue to use it in this volume for stress relief. I guess my question is: does anyone have a natural way to relieve stress? I know working out helps a little, but my mind just continues to race and I feel like I need to just turn it off sometimes.
Post # 3
I feel a little silly saying this, but yoga. Working out never really calmed me down or relieved stress for me, but I started doing yoga even just once a week for the last several months, and it’s a major stress reliever for me. You may need to try a few kinds to find the one that works for you – I have a friend who only feels connected to it when it’s Bikram, I like Ashtanga and Gentle yoga – but it could really help.
It’s got to be healthier than the sauce, at any rate. Not that I don’t still have the occasional glass of vino to calm me down, too. Just not so many as I used to 🙂
So sorry about your kitty. Losing a dear pet is awful, awful, awful.
Post # 4
Hugs! Breathe!!!!it will be ok. Sorry about yourkitty:(
Post # 5
I second the yoga suggestion, and also might add meditation. There are a lot of basic instructions on the web that you can find, but if you practice it a little, it can really really help the “mind racing can’t stop obsessing” cycle.”
And you know this, but put the kibosh on drinking for a few weeks. You don’t need it, and it will hurt more than it helps.
p.s. And I’m so, so sorry about your poor kitty. 🙁
Post # 6
I’m so sorry about your cat. Hang in there!
I’d suggest taking some time just for you, no matter what you do. Maybe go for a walk or take a class or something, but get away from the stressors for a little while. I’m a very independent person and sometimes feel a little selfish when I need to get away from things, but if I didn’t I honestly think I’d lose it sometimes. Just take some time to relax and focus on the things that are going well.
I hope you feel better soon!
Post # 7
@ProfessorGirl: Thanks…I’ve been thinking about getting into yoga. I guess I really just need some time to be with my own breath (if that makes any sense.) And, sad as it sounds, now that my kitty is gone, I guess I will have more time to focus on calming down. It has been an emotional rollercoaster.
Post # 8
I take about 10-15 minutes each day to meditate outside. Just to reflect on my breathing and the noises around me. I try to keep any other thoughts out.
A good book is another great way to relax.
Post # 9
I am so so sorry about your cat. What I do to relieve stress is turn the lights out, look out the windown and listen to BB King. And allow myself to cry. *HUGS*
Post # 10
I’m so sorry. Sometimes it really feels like when it rains it pours…and nothing is going right, and then it changes your outlook and attitude and reactions and things just keep getting worse! I really feel for you. Things WILL get better, but in the mean time, I second trying yoga…but very importantly eat right, get good sleep, and drink plenty of water.
And come on here whenever you need to vent, we’re always happy to listen.
Post # 11
I’m sorry to hear about your cat! I know completely well how those crazy days/weeks feel, and sometimes you are so stressed/worried/anxious that you just want to scream! I take it out on the cardio machines. Sometimes when I’m hurting inside, pounding on the treadmill or elliptical for 15-20 minutes actually makes me feel better and relieves stress that has built up.
I am also tempted to have a glass of wine or chow down on something unhealthy when I’m stressed, but I try hard not to because I usually feel worse after (not always successful). What I’ve found really works is making something so obviously healthy that it makes me feel good about myself (i.e. green smoothie).
Hope you feel better! Just remember that we ALL have those times. You’re definitely not alone. ::Hug::
Post # 12
@sbottiani: I am so sorry that you lost your sweet cat. Losing a beloved pet is a terrible thing to go through on it’s own, but added atop already feeling like you can’t get a grip on other things going on in your life makes it that much more of a blow. I know everyone has practically said it, but YOGA was the first thing that came to mind after reading your post. It really helps to calm an active mind and makes you feel good. If you try (or have tried) it and it’s just not enough for you, maybe go talk to a therapist. They are impartial and are only there to listen and help you. A good friend of mine was having a rough patch recently and started talking to a therapist – though she was totally against it at the begining. Well, it’s been 8 months and she’s doing much better and she really enjoys having the therapist on her team when stressful situations pop up. This therapist has really helped her overcome some big obstacles and I’ve seen a big change in her – she seems a lot happier. If you’re not comfortable talking to a pro, is there a really supportive friend you could open up to who would be there for you? Sometimes a good friend or family member can really help put things into perspective when you feel like you’ve got no clue what to do next. Take good care of yourself!
Post # 13
I just want to say how sorry I am to hear about your kitty. I don’t know what would do without mine – it makes me cry even thinking about it! Big hugs to you.
I use herbal supplements…it’s all natural and I do find that sometimes it just helps to calm me down. I use Valerian Root before bed time. It’s a natural, calming herb that helps you sleep. Also for sleep, I have found that St. Johns Wart works. If you find your mind reeling and nothing else (yoga, mediation, chick flicks) is helping – that is my suggestion!
Post # 14
So sad about your cat…
I’ll echo the yoga suggestion. It might take going through a few teachers or classes to find your level (start out with a beginner class, then edge up as you feel able) and someone you’re happy with (some teachers are too crunchy granola for me, others are a little too fitness-tape-perky for yoga). I know some prefer more gentle yoga, but if I’m not working hard, my brain just doesn’t shut off properly.
I also started taking boxing classes not that long ago, and that helps too… Nothing quite like beating up a bag after a bad day. It’s not something I’d recommend just starting by yourself out of nowhere- you’d need to find a trainer or a class and learn to wrap up properly and how to punch so you don’t break your hands (easy to do, even through gloves), but if I had a really especially bad day, even if there’s no class, I’ll grab my gloves and my iPod and spend an hour in the boxing room. The other plus- my arms and shoulders have never looked so good.
The best thing, I think, in general, is to keep your body moving to turn your mind off. Especially if you’re slacking with your health, which I know I tend to do in high stress times. Focusing on your body and nothing else, keeping it healthy and strong, will help all around.
Post # 15
My Doctor suggested st johns wart it a natural stress reliever and also exercise.
Post # 16
Oh man I lost my cat very suddenly at a young age two years ago, and it was the worst time of my life. It was righta round the time my fiance and I got engaged and it really put a damper on things. My pets are like children to me and I was just heartbroken. Not sure what other things you’re up against, but usually when you’re feeling down its easy to let any little thing bother you more than it should. I suggest if you can afford to do so to take a couple days off of work and focus on some positive you and FI time. Maybe get a couples massage, have some sex, go to a movie. Take your mind off wedding things for a while and just enjoy being with each other. You need his support right now, and a distraction. Also try getting as much sleep as possible. I would try melatonin if you can’t get your brain to shut off. Its natural and non habit forming unlike most sleep medication.