Virgin bride first pap – Would it be weird to take FI for support?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
5543 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think this is totally up to your comfort level. I was the same way, but to me it would have been weirder to have him there than not. But I have friends who sure as heck had their FI out in the waiting room!

Post # 4
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

@luciaayala23:  I would ask him if I were you. I think that first appointment is pretty scary for everyone, so moral support would be nice. Maybe he just waits in the waiting room, or when the doctor comes in he leaves while she’s looking down below. It really shouldn’t be a big deal since it’s 12 days from now. I’d be kind of upset if my SO didn’t want to come with me for support. It’s not like he has to go down there and take a  look at what’s going on!

Post # 5
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@luciaayala23:  I would say don’t do it. Your first time you can feel really uncomfortable and awkward as it it and I think it will just make you feel more awkward if he is there. The doctor and nurse will totally make it a no big deal situation and (and I don’t know if you have a religious belief against this and if so nvm) but I would take that time to ask about birth control if thats something you are thinking about getting on once you become sexual active. That conversation could also be awkward if your FI is there. If you just mean have him go sit in the waiting room I think thats just awkard for him and YOU WILL BE FINE! I promise! If you make it no big deal it is no big deal. 

Post # 6
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@luciaayala23:  I think if you are feeling anxious and want him there you should definitely ask him! He could always wait for you in the waiting room and just be there for you for before and after if he’s uncomfortable going in with you.

Post # 7
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

it might be better to have someone with you that can relate? Do you have an older sister? Your mom? An aunt? A close friend? 

While I know if I were in your shoes my fiancé absolutely would come with me and wait in the waiting room… I would maybe prefer to have a female family member or girlfriend come instead… That way it isn’t awkward for him…. 

Post # 8
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Carondelet House

I wouldn’t, but that’s just because I wouldn’t want him experiencing anything as unsexy as a pap smear. That’s just me, though.

Post # 9
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Having your feet up in stirrups and a dr sticking a speculum into your vagina is a major mood killer! Do not bring fiancé into the room with you! That will only up your anxiety level! 

Post # 11
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wouldn’t bring him.  I had my first pap smear at 14, because I was moving from a Pediatrition to a regular Dr.  I went in by myself, Mom waited in the waiting room.  She was only there because she was my ride.  It takes like 10 min and your done. 

 

Post # 12
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It really isn’t a big deal at all! Just take a deep breath and it will be over before you know it! It is literally over in 5 minutes! 

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