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As a fellow Christ follower and virgin until the wedding, I feel your pain!
I had been put on birth control pills far before my wedding, when I was underweight and stopped getting my period. I have never had any issues with the pill as far as sex drive and weight gain. I have only gained weight off the pill. Its really something that is individual to every womans internal body chemistry previous to pills.
My suggestion would be to make an appointment with you OBGYN and go over all the different options! A lot of it is trial and error, it took me a while to find something that worked for my body.
I have only been having sex for a month, but we have used condoms and birth control pills. I feel most secure and safe on the pills which inturn has incrased my sex drive because I don't constantly fear pegnancy- like will the condom break? Is such and such on correctly , etc etc.
Best of luck! and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!
We went with BC pills. I actually started them about a year before we actually started having sex b/c I figured they'd get rid of my long periods. For a while, it was great. A little annoying to take the pill at the same time everyday, but shorter periods, clearer skin... I did gain 10 lbs but it seemed to be mostly in the boobs so I was happy. Haha.
Fast forward a year or so... I think my sex drive has decreased (although I sometimes wonder if I really could know for sure since I've been on them since before we were actually having sex...), and the big issue is that it's raised my blood pressure to really high levels that aren't healthy to be living with.
So, now I'm going off of it and we're planning to do NFP, but I wish I would've just started with NFP from the beginning. It's going to be really hard to figure out NFP while my body is regulating post-BC, and I think we're going to just have to not have sex much for a few months. It would've been so much easier to just start NFP before the wedding and have it all figured out without the BC complications.
Anyway, that's just my experience... for a lot of women BC pills are a wonderful thing.
As pp have said, there is a lot of trial and error with finding the right controceptive for you, so the best thing to do is talk to your doctor. about your options and concerns. It can seem a bit awkard at first, but I promise your doctor has heard it all before.
definately make an appointment with your OB/Gyn.
That being said, I currently use NuvaRing, and have more than ENOUGH good things to say about it! It is AMAZING, it is a once a month BC that you place inside your vagina, its not hard to put in, it stays in place, my fi can't feel it when we have sex (but if a guy can its easy to pull out and put back in after). I have a friend that is a virgin that used it and didnt' have any issues either (she said it was easier to use than tampons!)! I also love it because it has up to 4-5 week of BC in it, so if you forget to take it out at exactly week 3 you are STILL protected.
I had been on OCP's (oral pills) and hated the way they made me feel, but i don't have any side effects from the Nuva Ring--my period is lighter, no cramps, no weight gain, no change in sex drive...also you can back to back them if you want! (i put one in for 3 weeks, take it out and put the next one right in! I don't have any spotting or anyting!) I honestly feel no different on or off the nuvaring
I high reccoment trying it for a few months, my Ob/Gyn gave me 2 months of samples, and then i got a Rx for a few more months to make sure i liked it!
The big thing with BC is be sure to try any meds for about 3-4 months, because it takes a while to get used to them, so dont try just one month and then switch, try a few months before you decide a certain brand isn't for you...
Thanks for all of these responses. That is really helpful. Re Nuva ring, I know someone else who loves that, too. I don't know why I'm so afraid about it right now . . . . I've just never done anything to alter my cycle . . . so the thought of doing it kinda worries me. Probably the best thing I can do is just become as educated as possible on it for now and start trying different kinds. . ..
I really like the way BC pills regulate my cycle and make my period lighter. I am way more emotional on them though. But really, if you REALLY don't want to get pregnant you should use two forms of BC. Because the only one that doesn't have a failure rate is abstinence. DH and I use condoms as well, because my coworker got pregnant twice while on the pill, but since she started using condoms too she hasn't had any surprises.
A non-hormonal option that I use is an IUD called Para-Guard.
Talk to your Dr... I believe there are some risks with it that may make conception difficult once you decide to get off of it so since you want to have kids you'll want to get the scoop on that.
However it doesn't affect your period, sex drive or cause any weight gain.
@Lexy: I have paragard and there aren't risks associated with fertility if the insertion doesn't have any issues or there are no complications during having it.
OP I really like Paragard, but I will tell you that it hurts REALLY bad to have it inserted and for several days afterwards. My first two periods' cramping was worse than ususal, but now everything is back to normal and I LOVE not having to worry about a daily pill or any type of BC for the next decade. Also, it can significantly increase how heavy your period is, so if your period is already heavy it can lead to anemia (just take an iron supplement or eat a lot of red meat during your period to avoid).
If you aren't up to dealing with a significant amount of pain and tough it out for the benefits a few months down the line, I wouldn't get it.
Plus, it might not be for you two because you are planning on having children in the next few years and it is expensive. However, I got mine for free under the new health care law, so it was the best choice for us!
@Miss Mochaccino: I totally disagree about talking to your Gyno. A lot of doctors are great with some things, but most will put you on a pill without evaluating your risks and explaining these to you. The pill caused me serious health complications and also screwed up my hormones for a long time when I got off of it and now the pill I was taking (yazmin) is under lawsuit. Why don't you consider learning and using NFP? This tends to be used by Catholics but it is also for everyone. Christians in general used to be pretty against BC. Or you can use a secular version which you use condoms on your fertile days which are only about 5-7 days per month!! Then on non fertile days you don't have to use anything!! It's awesome! It's a great way to not have to hurt your own body by using a foreign substance and establish intimacy and understanding from your partner. I highly highly recommend it. Please atleast read about it and consider seeing a nurse that teaches about it. There's a reason you don't like the idea of altering your cycle and it's because it's entirely unnatural and causes some women problems later on.
http://www.americanpregnancy.org/preventingpregnancy/fertilityawarenessNFP.html
One thing that a lot of women don't know about the pill is that it messes up your attraction to your mate. It causes you to feel less attracted to a partner who you should normally be attracted to. That is because your body thinks it's pregnant and it changes your olfactory senses (in your nose) to be turned off by pheremones you would normally be attracted to. Also during ovulation you send out strong pheremones that make your partner much more attracted to you. The pill or similar devices cause you to stop sending out attraction pheremones because you don't ovulate.
I have the Implanon implant and I love it. I expereinced no weight gain, sometimes I may get a little moody at that time of the month, but I have only had 1 period since getting the implant about 5 months ago. It sounds a lot scarier than it really is. My arm was numbed and the implant was inserted and I didn't feel anything. It just itched alot for the next couple days. It lasts for 3 years, but you can remove it at any time and your fertility is not affected at all. I wasn't good about taking the pill at the same time each day and I had heard horror stories about IUD's, and the Nuvaring kinda creeped me out, so this was the most attractive option for me. Make sure to talk to your doctor though and do all the research you can about each option you are considering.
I am in the same boat as you. I had never been on birth control because there was no need for it. I just started using Nuvaring so I would be protected for after the wedding. I have only been on it for 2 weeks now, but so far it's great! I used a tampon applicator to put it in (take the tampon out, fold up the ring and put it inside where the tampon was). It was really easy to put in. Felt no different than a tampon. I haven't felt it at all since I put it in. I haven't noticed any side effects, but obviously I haven't been on it very long.
The reason I chose Nuvaring was because I am horrible at taking medicine consistently, and I really didn't want to be stressed out from thinking I might be pregnant. My biggest fear was actually putting it in and taking it out. As I said, putting it in was super easy. I still haven't had to take it out yet, but I know it will be okay. I plan to do it in the shower to reduce some of the "eww" factor in my head. I've read that if you squat down it's super easy to get it out.
Good luck finding something that works for you! If you are leaning towards Nuvaring but don't like the idea of putting it in and taking it out, there really is nothing to fear!
And third, or fourth, whatever, for nuva ring! I love it, and minus the very first day I ever put it in I haven't had any real side effects. Plus I am horrible at rembering things so it is incredibly nice I only have to remember once a month. The other plus is (TMI WARNIGN) my period is max 3 days and super light. And it isn't a big deal if you stack them so you have NO period. That is what I am planning for our honeymoon.
Interesting question as I had the same thoughts/doubts running through my head before getting married. I never had to use birth control before, so I went around asking my close family and friends the same question you asked. My only concern with the pill was, what if I forget to take it? I started taking it only a month before the weeding, and now I'm pretty good about not forgetting it. One thing I loved about it is how well it regulates my period. This in turn helps me get to know my body better and find the right frame as to when I am most fertile. I decided to go with two birth controls, the pill and condoms when I am in my most fertile days, which I have control since I am super regular now with the pill. So far no pregnancy. We decided before getting married to wait at least 3 years, so far so good. Hope this helps!
I can second the recommendation for NuvaRing. It has done a lot of great things for me and is much simplier then having to take a pill every day.
I will be honest, though. It was a little hard to get used to. You can't feel it, per se... but when I would think about it I would get a little freaked out at first.
Best of luck... and definitely talk to your doctor!
I would talk to your gyno.
Mine started me on the pill well before the wedding (year and half even) because we were using it to control my out-of-control periods. I didn't gain anyway, but I was aware that it could be a problem so I watched to make sure I didn't go overboard with eating or anything.
As no one else (I think, I skim read so sorry if I missed it) has mentioned it - depo ralovera (also depo provera) I have been on the injections for just over a year now and I have had no side effects from it... A little spotting occasionally but it is only a little and as I don't get periods I figure that they are my periods (I am totally irregular when I am not on BC so figure why should I be different when on it :)). Also it doesn't dampen my sex drive at all and I don't gain weight on it like I did when I was on the pill, I was on the pill for approximately 8 years before I realised it was the reason I wasn't losing weight, I started exercising 4 times a week, (an hour at the gym doing classes so it isn't easy) and no weight loss :( once I came off it I was able to see a difference within weeks...
I like the fact it isn't reliant on me remembering something daily, I just put a reminder in my phone for 11 weeks time and then make an appointment to go get it done again. Also I have found it is a LOT cheaper than condoms and slightly cheaper than when I was on the pill.
@Dsquared: Of COURSE the OP should talk to her doctor about this. I agree that the pill is not for everyone, but I totally disagree that NFP is a good method to implement if the OP really does not want to become pregnant within the next two years. It sounds good in theory, but in reality the female body can be inconsistent, and there is no 100% accurate way to know when a woman is or isn't fertile. It is guesswork, and if the OP is not ready for kids yet, this is not a good thing to guess about. She herself stated that she knows several people for whom it failed to work.
I would recommend either an implant, which lasts for three years (but can be taken out sooner), or the depo shot. An IUD lasts for five - ten years, and since insertion and removal can be very painful, I would not recommend that for you.
Don't worry about the hormones. If you are only on birth control two years, any risk is quite minimal. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR. They will be able to tell you all the risks associated with any birth control. They will help you figure out what is best for you.
@ShellVee: my doctor took me off Depo, she said it reduces bone density and people aren't recommending it anymore.
Personally I don't like taking medication unless absolutely necessary. Drugs that affect your reproductive cycle are powerful. Of course plenty of women take them and have no issues. I tried it once and got very sick and since then have decided not messing with my body was probably for the best.
I have used only condoms for many years and never had any issues. I've never had a condom break or leak and I'm glad that I don't have to take a pill everyday since I'm rather forgetful. I also have the peace of mind of knowing I won't have any side effects from powerful medications. The only complaint would be that condoms are a bit of pain in that you have to stop and put it on, which can sometimes be annoying and a mood breaker - especially if you run out!
I should add that while I know condoms alone aren't 100% protection, if I ever were to get pregnant, we'd keep it. I never had sex without knowing that as small as the possibility was, there's always a possibility no matter what you use or how careful you are.
Talk to your doctor, but ultimately you have to decide what's right for you. Doctors have differing opinions. You should also talk to your fiance/husband. I actually went back to the doctor to see if he could change my pills to another brand or dosage, and he said if those made me sick, probably all of them would... and wanted to put me on Depo (the 3 month shot)... I refused. Don't be afraid to choose what's right for you! Just be informed the best you can about all your options. :)
Eh, when I say I use condoms, I actually means HE uses the condoms... haha :) Never tried the ones for women.
Due to medical reasons, I've been on hormonal BC since I was 13 years old. I am currently 29. It did take some tinkering to find the right pill but once I did, I did not gain weight nor do I have a low sex drive (this was discovered later--much later than 13). In fact, I gained a lot of weight several years ago and lost it recently while on the pill.
If I were you, I'd get on it now so that you're not spending your first months of marriage not wanting to be touched, crying for no reason and/or all bloaty. It's best to start the pills and try something new if you have unpleasant side effects that persist for longer than 3 months. The Nuva ring is also good from what I hear--since I need a high dose of hormones, I've never tried it but always wanted to.
Take it at the same time every day (I set my phone to go off at noon--some take it right when they wake up or go to sleep but if you sleep in or stay up late sometimes, taking it at noon may work best). If you ever take antibiotics, use a backup form of BC like a condom or abstinence. Some antibiotics cause BC to not work and most pharmacists don't tell you this.
I use lady comp monitor. I dont feel comfortable taking birth control pills because they basically make your body think that it is pregnant. and if you are taking them for years, its not healthy that your body has been thinking its pregnant for years.
When my lady comp tells me its ok to have sex, i will use another form of birth control like spermicide or a condom.
look into the lady comp monitor
@Dsquared: Just to be aware... friends of mine decided to try natural FP after their wedding in April... She's now nearly five months pregnant and they were being careful with charting.
@Miss Mochaccino: I would go to your OB-GYN. There's alot of misconception about birth control especially about weight gain.
@Dsquared said "The pill or similar devices cause you to stop sending out attraction pheremones because you don't ovulate."
NOT TRUE. Please don't generalize about this.
Different hormonal birth control options work in different ways. I've used several in the last 10 years. Depo Provera, the birth control shot, DOES reduce or even eliminate ovulation. Many women on Depo stop having a period entirely because the ovary does not release an egg, therefore the uterus is not stimulated to create and ultimately shed the endometrial lining that is passed during menstruation. I was on Depo for three years. I did not have a period EXCEPT during the time I got a shot two weeks late. Egg released, lining built up, lining shed when conception did not occur, had a period.
Estrogen-based oral birth control DOES NOT prevent ovulation. These pills prevent fertlization and basically make the uterus into an environment hostile to conception. The egg is still released though, and that triggers the development of the endometrial lining you shed during your period if you do not conceive during that cycle.
OP and any other readers for whom this is a concern, people who say not to talk to doctor about this are ill-informed. A doctor who just tries to push a pill on you and not work with you and understand your concerns is a bad doctor of ANY kind, this isn't just about birth control - so find a good one! (It takes time! It's good that you're starting now, with some time before your wedding.)
This is not just a family planning decision, this is also a MEDICAL decision about your body. Pregnancy is a MEDICAL condition, not just a natural state. If you don't want to take pills, don't like shots, are not sure of your options... make an EDUCATED decision and get EDUCATED professionals who respect your needs and wants to help you make them. An OB/GYN doctor can do this, a nurse practitioner, a general practitioner. You must just find a GOOD one to help you work through the birth control process.
If you don't, you may end up in a waiting room too hurried to make a good choice about a care provider because you're already pregnant. You sound like a smart girl. You will get it figured out. :o)
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I've never had to think about using Birth Control before because I'm a virgin. Now my FI and I are starting to talk about it, because he would really like to wait about 2 years after marriage before having kids. For me, 1 year would be enough, but I am willing to compromise and make it 2 years before TCC.
Anyway, I am currently at a loss about what type of BC to use. I am somewhat bothered by the thought of hormonal BC, just because it seems that lots of women gain weight and lose their sex drive from taking it. After waiting for sex all this time, I really don't want to lose my drive right before the wedding. :-/
Someone else suggested using a diaphragm and spermicide . . . but that person (I happened to know) had a surprise pregnancy 6 months into her marriage. And while NFP sounds good . .. I also know people who have gotten surprise pregnancies while practicing it.
What processes have you gone through to decide what methods of birth control to use?