Post # 1
I recently visited my cousin at the hospital after she gave birth. I was so surprised by how many of her friends and family she let come see her and her newborn at the hospital and take pictures and post them to facebook!! Maybe I am just an overly private person, but I would be so livid if someone came to visit me after having a baby and put a picture of me and/or my baby on facebook, instagram, whatever, without at least asking me first! (If they did ask, I would have said NO)
It just got me thinking about how I will handle this when the time comes. How did you moms handle visitors in the hospital/birth center/wherever? Did you allow people to take pictures, and if so, post them on the internet? Did you have certain rules?
Post # 3
I didn’t mind the visitors at the hospital. Most of them kept their visits short since they knew I was tired and baby & I were figuring things out. It was also really nice because most of them brought food or snacks 🙂
I didn’t mind the photos either… I did ask my mom & sister to show me the pics to make sure I didn’t look like a bag of ass before they posted them for all the world to see. I did get a little teensy bit annoyed that someone posted that we had the baby, her name, weight, other relevant stats before I had a chance to, but I was obviously busy immediately after birth getting cleaned up & acquainted with BabyDane.
It was harder to have visitors at home right after the birth though. I felt like I had to host/entertain, but honestly all I wanted to do was take a shower & a nap if I wasn’t feeding the baby. It was nice that people brought food, but I didn’t want to be all “Thanks for the grub, now get out!” Again, I would just ask people to keep their visits short and sweet so you have time to rest and just spend time getting to know your baby.
Post # 4
@Sea_Ashley: ive decided that after i have my baby, only siblings and parents are allowed to visit in the hospital and not for the first few hours of birth. photos…of baby, i dont mind. none of me
at home – i will probably settle into a routine before visitors come so minimum a week or two in the house. then whatever photos they want (as ill have time to prepare before they arrive)
Post # 5
We will allow visitors at the hospital. Only a couple people in our room at a time though. I don’t want to get too overwelmed. As far as Facebook. We will be the first to annouce and post any photos. This will be clearly stated when we call everyone to tell them I am in labor…
Post # 6
I personally can’t even imagine Facebook as a concern. Neither of us have it and our kid sure won’t be posted on it either. I may email a few pictures to folks but anyone who I want to see our baby will have the opportunity to do so in person.
I’d prefer no visitors at the hospital except my parents (I wouldn’t be able to keep mom away anyway).
Post # 7
We had a few close family members, a few less-close family members, and one good friend visit at the hospital. I didn’t think I would mind, but when I actually had the baby and was delirious and exhausted from a long labor and lack of sleep, and all baby wanted to do was snuggle and nurse as I learned how to BF, I just found it so overwhelming and honestly wished everyone would leave! I didn’t speak up because everyone who came had driven a significant distance to get there and I would have felt bad kicking them out, but next time, there will be NO visitors at the hospital. Everyone can wait until we get settled at home (and hopefully bring food)!
People took pictures, but kept them off social media without me having to ask.
Post # 8
@Sea_Ashley: I don’t want any visitors in the hospital but I’m sure I won’t be able to get my way. I’d like to keep it to parents and siblings only and even then, I don’t want them camping out there. We shall see how it goes, though.
I’ll be pissed if anyone posts pictures/stats on facebook before I do but I’m sure it will happen with my mother. Oh well, you can only control so much.
Post # 9
@Sea_Ashley: We live 4+ hours from everyone important in our lives, so we’re only expecting our nuclear families to show up. And they can post whatever they want, as long as there’s no nudity or partial nudity in the pictures (the baby or me!)
Post # 10
@Sea_Ashley: I don’t want anyone at the hospital while I am laboring. Not in my room & not in the waiting room. I know labor can take a long time & be exhausting & I don’t want to worry about my visitors “just waiting on me to pop out the baby.” Seriously the thought of that drives my anxiety up a level or two. Family lives close enough, DH’s parents are the furthest, 1 hour drive from where we are delivering. I am having baby oh I don’t know 10 minutes from my moms house half hour from my sister, 20 minutes from my brother so once baby arrives and we have had our time together as a family, me, DH & LO then we’ll allow visitors, but I don’t need anyone announcing the arrival of our bundle of joy before we do. When my sister was in labor last year my aunt posted on FB, “thinking of my niece today, she’s having a baby.” My sister & BIL didn’t want their labor announced on FB, my sister got a text from one of her close friends who said “does your aunt have another niece in labor or are you having the baby today?” She was pissed! Fast forward 13 months & my SIL goes into labor (this just happened Monday night) – and MY sister (the same one who didn’t want her labor announced on FB) posts “thinking of my favorite sister in law (tags sister in law in post) and my brother today.” — So THATS how I found out my SIL was in labor because my sister posted it on FB. I was annoyed, not to mention that my SIL hadn’t posted anything on FB about being in labor. Am I wicked excited to have another niece & that my bro & SIL are now parents, you bet, but I don’t need to post their business on FB. That’s their news to share.
I guess when the time comes we’ll have to be clear with friends/family that we will be the ones who share the information on social media as we see fit.
Post # 11
our siblings and parents only. If the baby arrives on time and delivery is smooth and both ok, we may go home 6 hours later anyway! Both sets of parents and one brother live a fair distance away so don’t expect them to visit straight away anyway. If I was in for an extended time I wouldn’t mind my friends visiting. Facebook photos of baby no problem, photos of me must be pre authorised!
Post # 12
@ThePrincessBride10612: Funny/related story.
DH had a boys weekend, and his best friend flew into town for it. Best friend’s sister was pregnant and due in a few weeks.
At 1 am, DH comes into our bedroom (I expected them all to still be out) and announces “sister is in labor and I”m driving best friend to the hospital right now”. One BIG problem, best friend was WASTED drunk. I told DH it was a bad idea, that best friend should just grab a few hours of sleep at our house and sober up before he went to the hospital, but DH said that the family wanted him there, so he had no choice.
Needless to say, best friend’s drunk presence at the hospital was NOT appreciated by active-laboring sister or family in the waiting room who had to take care of his drunk ass at 2 am while they waited for their grandchild to be born.
I told DH this “just for the record, no one comes to the hospital until the baby has been born, I have showered, and it’s daylight.”
Post # 13
I want very limited visitors at the hospital, just my parents, my brother and SIL, and because I have to, my MIL. DH’s family is obnoxious, so they will probably all show up. We’re not going to let anybody into my room until I’m ready, I told DH that I want at least 2 hours just the 3 of us, then we’ll let grandparents in then my brother and SIL (DH is an only child).
When we get home, I don’t want anybody there waiting for us. I want a few hours alone before people come over cause I’m sure our parents will want to be there asap. I just want a little time to get settled. We will also have a no visitors between 9pm and 9am rule unless we ask somebody to come over. Like, if I need my mom for something at midnight, she’ll be here right away. I also have to approve all visitors since I’m the one who will be recovering.
I also don’t want any pictures of LO on facebook. I don’t care if people take pictures, but I don’t want my brand new daughter’s face plastered on FB. I think I watch too many Lifetime movies and I’m paranoid because there are so many freaky people out there who kidnap newborns. I don’t care if somebody posts that I’m in labor, as long as people don’t call me to talk about it.
Post # 14
@Sea_Ashley: I had my daughter 11 months ago. I did not have a lot of visitors come visit me in the hospital when she was born. We had only my family, my fiances mom, and a close friend come visit and that was it. Everyone else waited til i was home from the hospital. Our close friend only took a picture of the baby. I would be livid if someone did that to me.They should be asking the mother and father if they can post pictures on facebook like that.
Post # 15
@ExcitedScaredBee: That is FUNNY! Gotta love drunk judgment. Did you tell DH, “see I told you so?” Poor laboring mama. I’m sure he’ll never live it down. When that baby grows up they’ll be telling it, “your uncle came to the hospital wasted the night you were born.”
Post # 16
@ThePrincessBride10612: oh my – everything you just said stresses me out too! I’m thinking it would be a good idea not to even tell anyone I’m in labor and just call after the baby is born.
@Fall_In_Love22: I like your visiting rules! I am certanly one that needs her space – I don’t need people crowding in my house 1 hour after I bring the baby home!
@ExcitedScaredBee: ha! I can’t imagine – I would have killed him if he were my husband!