(Closed) Voluntary 2 week No Sex Rule

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
6010 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Ummm, I would say it should definitely be a joint decision.  He’s kinda involved in the sex, too, so I think it’s a little harsh to just shut it down without taking his feelings into consideration.  ๐Ÿ™‚  

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Definitely a joint decision! We abstained for 13 months prior to our wedding. Looking back, I’m not sure it really did anything for us…make sure you outline your reasons really well. We thought it’d give us something to look forward to and make it special. In hindsight, I’m very “whatever” about the whole thing now! =]

Post # 5
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I tried to mention this before the wedding. He looked completely bewildered and just kept saying “No sex? But… why?”

 

@ejs4y8 I am glad to hear you say that. I felt guilty we didn’t manage to go more than 3 nights, but I am not exactly sure what difference I thought it was going to make…

Post # 7
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My fiancee brought this up a couple days ago. He initially wanted three months of abstinence before the wedding, which I balked at. Maybe a month, maybe two months, but three months seemed excessive. He asked me to do some internet research and see what the general consensus might be, but I think he ended up doing more research than I did.

He’s now relented to two months, especially when I pointed out that he wouldn’t get birthday sex if we went three months. That brought a big pouty face. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Strangely, I never even considered this.  We’ve been having sex for over six years, so I guess I never thought “taking a break” would make that big of a difference!

Post # 9
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

We’re doing the “no sex” ban as well. We talked about it together and made the decision. I think it should definitely be a joint decision. If one person’s not in to it, what’s the fun in that?

Post # 10
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Interesting, I hadn’t heard of this! What’s the idea behind it? To make your wedding night more special? Or is it a semi-religious thing, like even if you’ve been sexually active you will abstain around the time of the wedding?

Post # 11
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It’s not really a problem for us cause we’ve never had sex, but I would imagine if you limited it, it would be that more intense and exciting that night.

Post # 13
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

Hubby and I abstained for maybe 2 weeks or so before the wedding? It wasn’t necessarily by choice, but Flo was visiting and then we went to my mom’s house and we were staying their prior to our wedding day. It didn’t make it any more special tbh, being married made it special. We were in a long distance relationship where we got to see each other maybe 3 or 4 times a year, so we were “used to” going stretches without sex. It was kind of a been there done that sort of thing that we didn’t feel the need to do agian. If it’s a spiritual thing for you, that’s great that you want to do that! definitely let him know before hand though!

Post # 15
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

It really wasn’t more intense or special for us, with the break. Maybe b/c we were so exhausted. But even so, we had better sex on our honeymoon! That was FAR more special to me! And more enjoyable. It was like ‘Oh, we haven’t done this in awhile’ but our intention was to keep it exciting for the night of, so I wouldn’t get pregnant (i was on all kinds of medications and wasn’t sure what was up with my uterus) and thought it’d be special and mean more.

Meh. HAving gone that route, in hindsight, it really made no difference. DH was on board for it, but he was very like “well that was whatever’ about it, too! Don’t get me wrong, we were really looking forward to doing it on our wedding night, buuuut. Still.

Post # 16
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

By “intense” do you mean “quick”?  =P

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