Vow renewal

posted 3 years ago in Vow Renewals
Post # 3
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

Vow Renewals have changed drastically in recent years… and in a GOOD Way… YEAH !!

And part of this is no-doubt that with Divorce stats as they are… the concept of Second Marriages OR celebrating ones that are alive & kicking is a lot more acceptable.

Traditionally they were done if the couple had gone thru a very hard time in their marriage… like overcoming a severe illness

OR at a SIGNIFICANT Milestone Anniversary… 10, 20, 25, etc.

Nowadays, people do them for a variety of reasons…

It can include the above… or it could be that they didn’t have a BIG Wedding this first time… or they want to have a Celebration.

There is NO RIGHT OR WRONG in this regard

(Just that it is considered incorrect to have any of the Pre-Wedding Events that one would have to mark a first Wedding… such as a Bridal Shower – Bachelorette – or a Registry)

Once upon a time, the Traditonal Rule was that a couple doing a Vow Renewal would only wear Bridal Wear if it still fit from their first marriage… otherwise the go-to for both Bride & Groom was a suit.  Most women choosing an Off-White, Ivory, or Cream…

Nowadays, Vow Renewals aren’t that rigid in this regard… infact Couples can choose to mark it / celebrate however they like… Formal / Informal – BIG / Small – or Wedding-like or not

So ya, Printed Invations – Wedding Dresses – Attendants – Flowers etc.  They are all ok.

As for attendance… truth is, even if you Invite everyone you had the first time, atttendance will be lower.  Some people just see it as another Party and opt out, tho they never would for a regular Wedding.

And some people, just see them as frivolous… or even ridiculous.

To each their own.

Hope this helps,


Post # 4
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@This Time Round:  Good advice! I agree.

Personally I probably wouldn’t do one because my husband and I both hate stuff like that (having to do a wedding was bad enough lol). But say we had to do one, I’d pick 10+ year significant anniversaries like 15, 20, 25, 30 years. When people do them when they haven’t even been married for 5 years I kinda wonder why.. but as TTR says, to each their own! I would make sure that it doesn’t come across as a gift-grabby occasion too (I’d worry about that myself).

Post # 5
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

To @canarydiamond:  When I was growing up, not a lot of people had Vow Renewals (they seem to have caught on since the 1990s).

Before that, people had BIG Parties / Celebrations once they got to their 25th year and beyond.

Certainly what my own Parents did… and my Ex-Hubby’s.  And I went to many as a kid as well.  They were always a good time, and could be as casual as a family BBQ or as elaborate as a Weekend Celebration with a long list of activities (so more Reunion like)

And occasionally they went to church and had their Pastor / Priest etc BLESS their Marriage again… sometimes in a private ceremony, sometimes during the Church Service itself (like a Convalidation that the Catholics have)

Infact, I’ve known of Catholic Churches that have regular Services where those that are Married have their Marriages blessed from the Pulpit… and those are well attended by the couples in the Parish.

I am in the camp of Weddings are fun… so I get why some Brides / Couples want to do it again as a Vow Renewal.

But even more than a Wedding… not anyone is going to be as jazzed about it as they are.

And that is a fact.


Post # 7
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010


Time will fly by. My husband and I have been talking about a renewal since our first anniversary. In a couple of hours, we will be able to say that our vow renewal will be next year. 

@This Time Round:  

Your advice is so encouraging! Sometimes families are excited about renewals if there was no wedding the first time. My family and friends are excited. 

Post # 8
315 posts
Helper bee

i agree, there really aren’t that many rules, like the previous poster said. especially if your reason for wanting one is that you eloped for the wedding, almost anything is fair game! in my case, we had a regular wedding with lots of family and friends, so we are thinking that our vow renewal will be just us and our children, but if i hadn’t had guests at our marriage i would probably want an all-out wedding-like event for my renewal. really i would just say that registering for gifts (or anything else that soliciits money/attention from friends and family) is the only no-no.

so do what you’ll enjoy and have fun planning! =)

Post # 9
40 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am planning a vow renewal (no idea what i have to do, but im researching lol) in two years when we’ll have 5yrs married and 7yrs together. We had a quick wedding with just my parents and his brother, and id like to have something small, intimate but still celebrate and get dressed up.

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