We're having an outdoor wedding/we are not religious, therefor there isn't a set structure for our vows. The type of vows that appeal to me are civil ceremony vows i.e.
_____, do you take ______ as your lawfully wedded wife. Do you etc...
They remind me of old hollywood movies, and they are what I am most comfortable with.
The thing that worries me is will these be too short? The wedding is a tented wedding/reception- we will be getting married on the dance floor while guests are seated at their tables. We're throwing a very untraditional wedding (essentially a big party)- and the actual ceremony part was planned to make my MIL happy... I wanted to get married in a private ceremony, and she wanted a church wedding in her religion. I compromised and found a man of the cloth who was willing to marry us in a civil ceremony (MIL is still not happy... but neither am I, so it works out :)
What kind of vows are you ladies planning? Would you be totally turned off if you attended a wedding with such a quick ceremony?
I'm not sure whether you are asking about short vows or a short ceremony.
Vows: Length doesn't matter; select whichever vows express the commitment you want to make to your FI.
Ceremony: Nothing wrong with a quick ceremony if it's in the same location as the reception. (It's annoying to have to find parking, get assembled, etc only to have to return to your car and do it all over again for just a 10-minute deal, IMO).
We will be having a brief ceremony, very similar to yours (with guests seated for reception) with opening remarks, a reading (maybe two), and our vows. We're incoporating the ring exchange into the vows to streamline. It will probably be about 15 minutes from processional to recessional (although I haven't timed it )
Don't worry about the actual vows being short. This happens more times than people realize and think. A lot is said before the vows and that's what counts. A couple will often choose to express themselves to each other before the vows are exchanged. The officiant will start off by addressing and welcoming the guests, then talk about things relevant to the couple and love, etc. etc...
We are having a non-denominational ceremony and from the time the first bridal party member walks out to the time they all exit, it will have taken 30 minutes. It's not as short as you think, see? And our vows will be similar to yours in length. Your officiant will write and have something to say before and after as you wish.
You have to use the vows that YOU want to use and mean the most to you. That is the most important part about the whole ceremony. Don't worry about length or what family members say. When it comes down to it, this is the MOST personal part of the whole day.
I love your idea of everyone seated at tables while you have the ceremony!! Totally cool. So don't worry about the length or the ceremony. Go with what you want!!
Talk to the officiant about if he is going to say anything or if there are going to be any readings. Even though you are not using religious readings, there are LOTS and LOTS of beautiful passages and poems that could be read if you are concerned about the time of the ceremony.
Short ceremonies are great, if you can still achieve some meaning in them. If all you're planning on doing is the vow part, then yes, as a guest, I would find that odd. You are, afterall, getting married, and there should be some indication of happiness and love in there!
My hubby and I are not religioous either, so a friend was deputized at city hall to perform our ceremony. We did an online search for bits and pieces of ceremonies that we liked, and pieced it together to make it what we want.
Definitely talk to your officiant to see what he plans to do. Even if he agreed to do a civil ceremony for you, make sure his planned ceremony is what you want. If it's not, make sure he will work with you to write a script that will mean something to both of you.
Hi bees!
We're having an outdoor wedding/we are not religious, therefor there isn't a set structure for our vows. The type of vows that appeal to me are civil ceremony vows i.e.
_____, do you take ______ as your lawfully wedded wife. Do you etc...
They remind me of old hollywood movies, and they are what I am most comfortable with.
The thing that worries me is will these be too short? The wedding is a tented wedding/reception- we will be getting married on the dance floor while guests are seated at their tables. We're throwing a very untraditional wedding (essentially a big party)- and the actual ceremony part was planned to make my MIL happy... I wanted to get married in a private ceremony, and she wanted a church wedding in her religion. I compromised and found a man of the cloth who was willing to marry us in a civil ceremony (MIL is still not happy... but neither am I, so it works out :)
What kind of vows are you ladies planning? Would you be totally turned off if you attended a wedding with such a quick ceremony?
posted by maureen9004 256 posts 5 months agoI'm not sure whether you are asking about short vows or a short ceremony.
Vows: Length doesn't matter; select whichever vows express the commitment you want to make to your FI.
Ceremony: Nothing wrong with a quick ceremony if it's in the same location as the reception. (It's annoying to have to find parking, get assembled, etc only to have to return to your car and do it all over again for just a 10-minute deal, IMO).
We will be having a brief ceremony, very similar to yours (with guests seated for reception) with opening remarks, a reading (maybe two), and our vows. We're incoporating the ring exchange into the vows to streamline. It will probably be about 15 minutes from processional to recessional (although I haven't timed it
)
posted by peachypear 98 posts 5 months agomaureen9004,
Don't worry about the actual vows being short. This happens more times than people realize and think. A lot is said before the vows and that's what counts. A couple will often choose to express themselves to each other before the vows are exchanged. The officiant will start off by addressing and welcoming the guests, then talk about things relevant to the couple and love, etc. etc...
We are having a non-denominational ceremony and from the time the first bridal party member walks out to the time they all exit, it will have taken 30 minutes. It's not as short as you think, see? And our vows will be similar to yours in length. Your officiant will write and have something to say before and after as you wish.
posted by JCM9608 466 posts 5 months agoYou have to use the vows that YOU want to use and mean the most to you. That is the most important part about the whole ceremony. Don't worry about length or what family members say. When it comes down to it, this is the MOST personal part of the whole day.
I love your idea of everyone seated at tables while you have the ceremony!! Totally cool. So don't worry about the length or the ceremony. Go with what you want!!
Talk to the officiant about if he is going to say anything or if there are going to be any readings. Even though you are not using religious readings, there are LOTS and LOTS of beautiful passages and poems that could be read if you are concerned about the time of the ceremony.
posted by nickyt 42 posts 5 months agoShort ceremonies are great, if you can still achieve some meaning in them. If all you're planning on doing is the vow part, then yes, as a guest, I would find that odd. You are, afterall, getting married, and there should be some indication of happiness and love in there!
My hubby and I are not religioous either, so a friend was deputized at city hall to perform our ceremony. We did an online search for bits and pieces of ceremonies that we liked, and pieced it together to make it what we want.
Definitely talk to your officiant to see what he plans to do. Even if he agreed to do a civil ceremony for you, make sure his planned ceremony is what you want. If it's not, make sure he will work with you to write a script that will mean something to both of you.
posted by SoCalBeachGirl 385 posts 5 months ago