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I want tradition. THE vows. Nothing changed or watered down. I want the vows to be the same ones my grandparents said 70 years ago and my parents said almost 44 years ago when they married.
And I don't want a long sermon either. it will be significant, eloquent, heart-felt, and traditional. And all in 20 minutes or less.
My fiance offiated a wedding where he said the part, "to have and to hold", and instead of repeating it, the couple said it in their own words. I think the bride said to that one, "To spoon with you on the couch." :) It was really cute!
I like the Hindu seven steps! It sounds really meaningful, and if you can find a way to tailor those steps into your vows, it would be lovely.
The most memorable vows (in fact, the only vows I can remember) I have ever heard? My friend and her husband wrote down ten promises to each other on paper. Each person sealed his or her promises in an envelope and gave it to the other person. During the ceremony, the bride read out the groom's promises, and vice versa. Some of them were serious, and some were funny. I don't remember the actual promises they made, but I remember it being incredibly touching and sweet.
"______, I promise to be faithful, supportive, and loyal and to give you my companionship and love throughout all the changes of our life. I vow to bring you happiness, and I will treasure you as my companion. I will celebrate the joys of life with you. I promise to support your dreams, and walk beside you offering courage and strength through all endeavors. From this day forward, I will be proud to be your wife/husband and your best friend."....LOVE THIS ONE!
Aww Bubbly I like that idea...and even if we dont read them out loud during the ceremony...maybe at the reception or just something to give each other on the honeymoon!! I love it! :)
Thanks, D.Marie - I never thought of doing this at the reception or during the honeymoon. That's a great idea! What I loved about it was the reaction of the bride and groom as they read out the other person's promises.
OK so I just talked to the fiance and we are going with this...
"______, I promise to be faithful, supportive, and loyal and to give you my companionship and love throughout all the changes of our life. I vow to bring you happiness, and I will treasure you as my companion. I will celebrate the joys of life with you. I promise to support your dreams, and walk beside you offering courage and strength through all endeavors. From this day forward, I will be proud to be your wife/husband and your best friend. I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."
I LOVE IT and Cant wait to say these words to each other and be married in front of all our family members and friends! :)
I love the ideas here! I am (cough) supposed to be writing my own vows as we speak and this was the perfect starting point!
Aww Im so glad Erin...good luck writing them. Check out theknot.com for more!
We "wrote" our own (read mixed a bunch of ones we found online plus little bits of us):
<span class="il">Vows:
I choose you, Michelle/Adam to be no other than yourself; loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I will respect you as an individual, partner, and equal. I promise to laugh with you when times are good, and endure with you when they are bad. I will always adore, honor, and encourage you. You are my best friend and I will love you always.
Ring Exchange:
Today I join my life to yours as your friend, your lover, and your confidant. Let me be the shoulder you lean on, the rock on which you rest, the companion of your life. With you I will walk my path from this day forward. With this ring, I thee wed.
Here are the vows my new husband and I used. We borrowed a few different lines from different vows we'd seen online and combined them all together:
I GROOM take you BRIDE /
for your warm heart and strength/
through love, laughter, and tears/
I promise to take you as you are/ and to accept whom you become./
I will honor our differences/
and make your plans and dreams as important to me as my own./
I promise to work for our relationship/
and to stand by your side as we face challenges together.
I promise to love, honor, and encourage you/
all the days of my life./
I take you as my wife.
these are the vows my husband and I exchanged. I also took snippets from other ones I found and just kind of changed things around
I "husband", take you "wife" to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, love you unconditionally and support you through good times and bad I will stand faithfully by your side during times of abundance, and times of need. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.
from our ring exchange
""Wife", With this ring, I give you a symbol of my promise that from this day forward, I will devote my love to you. You shall not walk alone for I shall always be beside you. May my heart be your shelter And my arms be your home. I feel so honored to call you my wife. I feel so pleased to call you mine."
*tear*
mdarrah -- I recognize part of your vows from Andrew Sullivan's blog post about his own! I love the message of taking your partner for who they are and trusting in who they will become in the future, since we all change.
We too borrowed from various online sources and had a wedding officiant friend help with our ceremony and vows. We wrote individual letters to read to one another first, followed by the exchanging of rings and then a passage of vows we repeated in unison.
Here's what we used for the ring ceremony:
I, Groom/Bride, take you, Groom/Bride as my friend and love beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us.
(Groom/Bride places the ring on Groom/Bride's finger and says)
Groom/Bride, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you always.
And the vows we repeated in unison:
As freely as God has given me life, I join my life with yours. Wherever you go, I will go. Whatever you face, I will face. For good or ill, in happiness or sadness,Come riches or poverty, I take you as my lifetime partner, and will give myself to no other.
Such great memories!!
I'm doing a spinoff of the grey's anatomy vows, lol. It's our favorite tv show, and they are just really cute vows! We aren't religious at all, so we don't have to deal with that, and we're out of the box type of people anyways.
bqsyalum- I love these vows so much, they are beautiful!
Thanks for sharing all of these, ladies, they are giving me some good ideas!
I'm so glad I found this post because my FI and I are writing our vows this weekend! Our "inspiration" vows are the following:
"Groom/Bride, I love you. You are my best friend and today, I take you as my husband/wife. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you,and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times, and in bad, when life seems easy, and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life."
We are going to keep the beginning and end and change customize the body of the vows. I plan on throwing something in there about promising to learn to cook!
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; color: #333333; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
Our minister stuck to the traditional vows, but I had hoped he would change the last line. Instead of "Until death do us part" I had read a vow somewhere that said "Until God in His wisdom parts us by death" which just seems to have so much more of a peaceful tone.
We wrote our own, influenced by my parents and my sister's wedding vows, and encorporating a traditional interfaith Jewish vow:
I ___, give myself to you ____, to be your loving wife/husband.
I join my life with yours and promise to support you on good days and bad days, to multiply your joys and divide your sorrows for all the days of our lives.
I give you this ring as a sign of my love: ani l'dodi v'dodi lee (Hebrew for "I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine"
(They still make me cry!)
Aww, I love <span style="font-family: tahoma, verdana; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic;">JoesWifey's too!
These are our vows.
I take you ___, to be my (husband/wife), loving you now and as you grow and develop into all that God intends. I will love you when we are together and when we are apart; when our lives are at peace and when they are in turmoil; in times of rest and in times of work. I will honor your goals and dreams and help you to fulfill them. From the depth of my being, I will seek to be open and honest with you. I say these things believing that God is in the midst of them all
We did the same, and came up with this..
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">"_______,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I promise to be faithful, supportive and loyal and to give you my companionship, support and love throughout all the changes of our life. I vow to bring you happiness, and I will treasure you as my partner and companion. I will celebrate the joys of life with you and walk beside you offering courage and strength through all our endeavors. From this day forward, I will be proud to be your husband/wife and your best friend. I, ______, take you, _______, to be my lawful husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. With God’s blessing, I pledge my life to you."
I'm not sure what our vows will be yet, but I do NOT like "to have and to hold." On the surface, it sounds kind of romantic...but it's a legal phrase used in property ownership and that's kind of yucky to me. I'd like to think there's something more special about our marriage vows than there will be about the deed to our house. I really like the Hindu vows, though!
My favorite line in a wedding ceremony is "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder." It's very traditional, and I love it.
my favorite wedding vow word is "cherish." if you think about that word and what it means, if you really always cherish your spouse, you are going to have a good marriage.
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We're meeting with our officiant tomorrow and I wanted to talk about vows. I dont know how traditional I want to go with "I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part." I do like something of that version...but Im not sure. What are your vows and what are some of your favorite you have heard or seen written down? I was on TheKnot.com and came across some Hindu vows...they do a seven steps of marriage and I like the 4th step, "While taking the fourth vow, the married couple pledges to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love, respect, understanding and faith. And the 7th step..."When the bride and the groom take the seventh and the last vow, they promise that they would be true and loyal to each other and would remain companions and best of friends for the lifetime." But how would you go about saying these in your vows? Im not saying this is what we will say but I like them! What do you like?