Post # 1
Hi, my fiance and I have been together for 3 years and we aren’t living together until we get married. I understand that its tempting because you save so much money but unless its absolutely necessary I say wiat. I was with my ex for 3 years and we lived together and I was in the same position as you and I said I wouldn’t live with bf again or fiance for that matter. With all due respect don’t buy into the ‘test driving’ a car before you buy it. If you wait a reasonable amount of time to become engaged and married, you know what the person is like and what their habbits are. You wont ‘think you know someone’ and then get married and be super surprsied by their traits, if you are ready for marriage you already know what they live like in the day to day. The fact that we haven’t lived together will make moving in together as husband and wife that much more special. Trust me 🙂
Post # 3
I’m curious, why are you posting this?
Post # 5
@michellelee1228: I used to think like you. And then I got married.
Post # 6
I’m still glad I lived with my husband before getting married 🙂
Post # 7
Thanks for sharing. Moving in after marriage will also be more stressful. It’s not a fairytale it’s a big adjustment that for us (a couple who never fights) came with quite a few fights the first few months of living together. I’m glad we got that our of our system before we got married so it didn’t overshadow our newlywed bliss!
you may have a different opinion once you actually experience it.
Post # 8
As my mother said when I informed her that FI and I were moving in together: “But you’ll learn all his bad habits.” Yes. Yes, I will. Better now than after we’ve signed documents uniting us until the end of our lives. [Also your justification of years is just silly. FI and I moved in together at the 3 year mark. Will be married at the 7 year mark. To each her own.]
Post # 9
@michellelee1228: Everyone is different. There is no blanket solution or right thing to do in this topic. Just because it works for you, doesn’t mean it is the right thing for everyone else.
I have always had the vague want to be married before I lived with a partner, however that’s not the way it worked out. My FI and I live together in a house we own, and that’s the perfect scenario for us. I’m still excited to be getting married to him, and our lives will still change for the better after our wedding.
Bravo to you for being in a situation that you feel is the right choice for you and your partner, but please don’t try to force your views on other people when it may not be the right choice for them.
Post # 11
I’m glad we live together now, we’ve ironed out a lot of wrinkles and I know our first year of marriage will be way more enjoyable. Happy for you that you’ve done things your way and it’s working for you, but this is a really weird way to introduce yourself to the forum.
Post # 12
@JulietFoxtrot: This. I am sorry, but with one of us moving to another state before getting engaged, moving in together was the perfect situation for us. Plus I am glad we’ve lived together first. Gives us time to work out the kinks…lol
Post # 13
You’re actually comparing it to test driving a car, no one in their right mind would buy a car without taking it for a test drive.
Also, why would someone trust your opinion? You can know someone inside and out, but it’s absolutely true that you really don’t know them until you live with them. You’ll see.
Post # 14
I love living with my FI and I expect it to be the same after we are married. Why miss out on all for years waiting? Plus, I am so glad I lived with an ex. He was a complete lazy slob and I am glad I found out before it went any further. If we had not lived together and had married I would be stuck cleaning up after him to this day. Nightmare!
Post # 16
I also have to respectfully disagree. To each their own, but my two cents is it’s best to live together prior to marriage. I say always “test drive the car” before you buy it.
I moved in with my now fiance after 1.5 years of dating. There was definitely an adjustment. Even when I stayed every night at his and his roomates’s place and they were digusting boys, I somehow thought he would be different once we moved in together. I thought he’d like to clean like me. Wrong. We definitely had many fights over housework. It went on for a few years. There was a point when I questioned if I could handle the fact that he leaves his drawers open after he pulls clothes out every day. I had to make a choice whether or not those things were that important. You can make yourself crazy obsessing over those things. I chose to stop, and it seemed simutaneously he made a choice to make more of an effort. In the end it all worked out and here we are over 7.5 years together and getting married in 56 days. I guess my point is that if we had been married through all that there would have been so much more pressure and I don’t know if it would’ve worked. I’m looking forward to marriage because we’ve already dealt with all that crap and we can just be happy.