Post # 1
I think it’s a common theme for women to be ready to get engaged far before the man thinks is practical. Such is my situation.
We had been dating about 8 months when we moved in, and were all set to start looking at rings – then we both lost our jobs. We agreed when he was employed again, we’d get engaged. He couldn’t find anything, so we both decided to go with our plan-b, grad school. We’re just finishing our first semester, and he has a year left, but I have 2 1/2 years left (silly law degree!). Now we’re waiting until he has a job out of grad school, and is able to save up for a very nice ring to get engaged, and since he will probably be relocating for work, possibly up to a year after I graduate for a wedding…that puts us at a 2013 wedding. 2012 in the fall at the earliest, as I will still have to take the bar after my graduation in May 2012. I’m already 25, and am not thrilled with the possibility of being nearly 29 by my wedding. Has anyone else had to deal with this type of timeline? His biggest reservation is finances – we’ll have student loans to deal with, and hopefully jobs, as well as the usual life obligations. I’m a little frustrated because, while I know it’s practical to push the wedding back so far, I feel like I would like our relationship to be legally legitimized, and I get the feeling that he keeps pushing it back further and further. TIA for any advice/encouragement!
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
As a nearly 29-year-old in law school planning a wedding, I can sympathize… but I think if you truly, truly want to get married sooner, you should get married sooner… without the “very nice ring” and a big wedding, if those are what are stopping you. Nicer rings can be purchased later, and I definitely wouldn’t postpone my marriage just to have a wedding. Life always gets “in the way” of things like weddings and babies and houses… the timing is never going to be right, but you have to decide if you want to do it, and then do it!
Post # 4
I agree with Spaniel – I am doing a PhD and so we are living on a single income family and we decided that we didn’t want to wait any longer! I have a very nice reasonably priced ring that I love and we are having a small intimate wedding.
You have to decide what is important to you and if you want it to be sooner you will have to make sacrifices in order to do it – but it can be done!
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2010 - Claxton Farm
I also totally agree with Spaniel! I will be a 29-year-old bride even though I remember discussing with friends how I thought we’d be married by 25-26 (and we really both knew we were in this long-term around age 24). I totally empathize with your feelings re: being legally legitimized (I cringe a little every time I hear “…oh. I thought you two were already married”).
A lot of people upgrade their e-rings, and vow renewal ceremonies were invented for a reason!
Hope all works out!