Post # 1
Back-story: I was raised by my dad and have a super close relationship with him. He knows I want to marry SO. He also knows that waiting has been driving me nuts. I am a planner, SO is not. Right now I am planning grad school, thinking about my lease ending and managing work in this economy- I was talking to my dad about all of these things and my frustration that if I knew when SO would propose it would help me make decisions on how many units to take and where to move, etc etc.
Advice: My dad says, make decisions as if SO wasn’t in your life. And it clicks, that’s what I needed to hear! Every time I have made decisions to accommodate other people I feel resentment if it doesn’t work out the way I had hoped. I don’t want to resent SO and if he wants to take another year to propose, that’s his choice and I’m not willing to slack on units or live somewhere that is not 100% perfect for me.
Waiting seems easier when I can remind myself of that conversation with my dad. It kind of reminds me of Mr.Bee’s advice in doing your own thing.
Post # 3
when i first read the title of the post, i thought “oh boy this ought to be interesting”, but it actually makes a lot of sense. but at the same time, i’m not sure it would work for me. i am a model, and i have always wanted to travel to a larger market (like new york or milan) to see if i could succeed there. this usually requires a minimum 6 month commitment, so if i left for that long i don’t think he’d appreciate it!
Post # 4
Your dad is soooo right! And I think it’s great that your dad sounds Un-biased.
Post # 5
Lol, yeah I had the same thoughts, but I know I will be really mad if I stay in this apartment bc it’s easier for “us” instead of living someplace better for me, especially if we end up breaking up or pushing things back.
Post # 6
Oh, man, that’s great advice! I followed it myself in trying to make a decision to move across the country for a job or stay with my SO. I moved. SO & I broke up. It was horrible and sad. Now I’m marrying Fiance, and all is great! It wasn’t easy, but I knew that if I didn’t go, there would always be that nagging “what if.”
Post # 7
@Phofe2774: Great advice! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Post # 8
@Phofe2774: My dad told me the EXACT same thing!! He basically said “don’t let someone else decide your fate” and that I should do what I want in my life and enjoy it instead of going crazy waiting on some decision.
Post # 9
I really don’t read the waiting boards, but I’m a daddy’s girl and I love dad-advice, so I had to check this out. I think your dad gave some wise advice. Good luck with making your plans! 🙂
Post # 10
Dad’s really do give the best advice when it comes to the big decisions. I’ve found that most of my mom’s advice stems from emotional reactions and most of my dad’s from fact. I’m a total momma’s girl, but when I needs a good dose of reality I hit up my pops!
Post # 11
Exactly why I bought my house instead of waiting until we get married/engaged. 🙂