- 8 years ago
A couple of weeks ago, I bid Weddingbee farewell. I was just very frustrated and found that it wasn’t helpful to me to keep seeing all these wedding images, etc. (read: I was turning to an evil, angry witch) But now I’m back because (1) I’m still frustrated and (2) who else would understand but the waiting bees?
Here’s my story. My guy and I have been together for 4 years. I’ve never pressured him into marriage. I wasn’t interested in getting married ever but I’ve always joked that I want a wedding just not a marriage. That was before I met him, and the whole love story and I really do want to get married now. Along the way, like all couples, we’ve both made sacrifices. For example, I didn’t want to live together before being engaged but then decided, the commitment was there just not the ring so I compromised that with my eyes toward the long term benefits (being able to save for a home, etc). We’ve been living together for a year.
In all honesty, this isn’t happening in the way I envisioned. You know, engaged, married, buy a house, etc. I understand that reality and dreamland are two totally different things. I have made myself OK with this. It’s life. But recently, he’s gotten on this whole “I don’t want a wedding” kick. He says he would marry me anywhere and that all the party stuff isn’t important. But it’s important to me. At the risk of sounding like a whiney baby, I have compromised on the “order” I would have liked for things to happen and I see the wedding as the only thing in my vision that was still there. I’m just not interested in a JOP thing. It’s not for me. And it really upsets me. I take it as a personal offense. Am I not deserving of having a wedding?
In my defense, I’m not talking about a huge platinum wedding. I just feel life’s important events should be marked with celebration. And in his defense, he’s not afraid of commitment, just weddings. I hope I didn’t come off too snobish, I just don’t know if anyone else has a similar problem and feelings.