- 8 years ago
Hi everyone! I’m a first-timer, and this may take a while to type. Please be gentle! 🙂
BF and I have been together just under a year and a half. Last April, he purchased a new house. He said he was motivated to buy the house (bigger than his last, more family-friendly neighborhood) because I came into his life. I haven’t spent one night in my own apartment since July of last year, and even before that it was pretty rare that we spent a night apart. I’ve continued to pay rent and utilities for that apartment since then, and my lease is up at the end of June of this year.
Now, obviously for all intents and purposes we already live together. He calls it “our house” and “our home.” But we had previously discussed that we didn’t want me to “officially” move until/unless there was a ring on my finger. BF understood and agreed that we shouldn’t make it “official” until we’re engaged.
Well, I have a roommate and recently she’s asked me what my plans are with the apartment, so I was forced to bring up the subject with BF. Awkward as it was, it was a conversation that had to be had.
So, over the weekend, BF formally asked me to move in with him when my lease is up in June. To me, given our previous conversations and agreement, that meant that a proposal is forthcoming. I asked him about this, and he seemed a little scared. Moving in together “officially” apparently is a very big step for him, something he’s never done before. To me, our living situation really isn’t going to be any different, it’ll just be “official.” I mean, some of my mail already goes there, and he filled out the census to include me.
Anyway, his request that I move in prompted a conversation about what it all meant. At the end of the day, he said a proposal/engagement is inevitable. We have couple-friends who have been living together for 4-5 years, and still aren’t engaged. I’ve repeatedly made it clear to him that I refuse to put myself in their situation without some semblance of security. He has literally promised me that I will not be in their shoes. So, I asked him for his idea of the maximum amount of time he thinks it would take for that to happen, he said 6 months. I can totally deal with that. 🙂
So here we are, making plans for me to move all of my stuff in between now and the end of June… and my question is: What the heck do I do with all of my stuff? When he moved in, he had me help him pick out a lot of stuff together… everything from bedding to new dishes/pots/pans/etc. At first I thought I’d be getting rid of most of my stuff (1/2 of my furniture, etc.), but then I had a moment of pause and I thought, “What if something happens…”
Is it fatalistic for me to be concerned about that? What should I do with it all? Keep it and put it in storage?
Any words of advice are very much appreciated!