Post # 1
I am a waiting bee that has been saving for my “wedding day” for about 6 months now. I have had 2 friends get engaged with no means to pay for the wedding….it terrified me! So I starting saving to make sure I did not find myself in a similar situation. My savings account is doing very well, but it makes me nervous to even think about spending all of this money on ONE DAY. I want to be engaged and be married…but it just seems so expensive. I often think about how I will feel when I spend all of my heard earned money on one day and then we go live in apartment to save up for a house….that we could have had sooner if we didnt have a wedding. I know, I know, im getting worked up over virtually nothing…but the cost of this wedding stuff is starting to make me crazy. I am currently helping my friend plan her wedding and the prices for everything just floor me…and make scare me. Anyone else feel this way?
Post # 3
@FutureMrsJefferson: You don’t have to spend all your money on the wedding. Remember this: do not give in to the mentality of keeping up with the trends or other people’s expectations. You’ll see a lot of beautiful, lavish weddings here on the Bee but you don’t have to emulate them. If you ask many of these ladies they’ll tell you there were things they regret splurging on.
Post # 4
@Aquaria: I am seeing so many bees regretting what they spent of their wedding day! Before I really looked into how much a wedding would cost, I wanted it to look a certain way and just be amazing. Now I think about it and I think “umm this could be a down payment on the home of our dreams!” which is obviously more important. But you are totally right, I do not need to spend ALL of my money 🙂
Post # 5
Yup… that’s why we’re having a tiny wedding and only spending like $2,000 on it. It isn’t a rule that you have to spend a ton on a wedding. You can marry for $200 if you want… it just won’t be fancy.
Post # 6
@FutureMrsJefferson: I started saving too (still a waiting bee) until I realized I needed to save for other things instead (new car for example). So I put more towards that and less towards the wedding.
We both want a very small intimate wedding but that seems to be adding up too! Especially if you want a talented photographer, sheesh!
I made a spreadsheet on what we’ll absolutely NEED that day, then what is IMPORTANT (like want but don’t need but don’t mind splurging on) then anything left over gets cut or diy’d or gets the cheap version haha I just hate the thought of buying things like center pieces or something…bleh
so NEED: the marriage license, obvy, rings, venua (free), and an officiant. The officiant we have chosen will do it for free 🙂 (family friend)
Those are things in our mind that we need in order to get married.
Then what is important:
Immediate family and being able to feed them, good photography, a nice vacation/honeymoon.
Everything esle is a “want” like flowers, tailored suit for him, white dress for me, and any decor. Not necessary to be married but nice to have 🙂
Post # 7
@Aquaria: + 1
You can have a beautiful wedding and the down payment on a house. The two are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest
I feel you. I seriously get soooo nervous when I think about it. My hope is our parents might contribute a little bit each, we can save a little bit, and then we’ll also have a stag and doe (common practice around here). I do not want to spend more than $10,000 on a wedding. And even THAT makes me feel ill.
I had been saving too, but we’re buying a house now (first) and all of my savings are going to that.
Post # 9
@ValerieBee03: I still save for other things as well, just starting on for a wedding so I wouldn’t feel ambushed when the time was right! But I totally undertand what you mean, so many things are “wants”. I haven’t made a spread sheet like you have, but that sounds like a wonderful idea!
Post # 10
YEP!! I opened an account seperate from my emergency savings account and titled it ‘Wedding AND House’.
SO and I do NOT want to have our day be on credit nor do we want to throw money away. Our biggest expense will be feeding everyone and paying for their drinks. We have some creative drink ideas…SO wants to have some *fancy* kegs as we can get premium beer for 1.00 a serving, then I was thinking of making DIY pilsner glasses for example. This is just the beer idea lol…doesn’t cover the wine/liquor.
It is not our intention to use this completely on one day though. I do think it’s smart to save for it….just in case you do have some area of the wedding that you want to splurge. I like the idea of mentally attaching ‘house’ to this because we don’t have one…and SO and I also want to have a specific $ amount in savings before we have a child as well.
Post # 11
Ugh, this makes me anxious, too. We’re pre engaged, but we’ve already started saving. Last year when we started talking rings and timelines, I pointed out that weddings are insanely expensive. We opened a joint brokerage account and have socked away a couple thousand already. Even though we’re planning on making some very cost-conscious measures (bringing our own cheap food and booze, no fancy invitations, preowned dress, etc.), I don’t think there’s any way we can get out of spending around $15k-20k. Stuff in our area is just EXPENSIVE. I’d be perfectly happy with a city hall ceremony then a nice dinner and an afterparty, but my SO definitely wants the whole Saturday night shindig. I’m hoping that once we actually get into planning, we’ll be able to find more areas to cut costs and keep things closer to the $15k side of things.
Post # 12
Im going to make my wedding as small as I can (on my side, im not inviting more than 30 people)..and Im going to DIY whatever I can, such as invitations. Theres no way Im spending 30+ grand for one day
Post # 13
Another soon to be engaged bee who started saving about 9 months ago. We actually started just saving for our honeymoon. We have our MAX savings for the wedding already in an account, 10k, but I’m still like you, the thought of using it ALL on the wedding makes me ill. I’m hoping we can leave the honeymoon account alone & use the 10k for the wedding plus the honeymoon. It’ll be tight doing that though.