- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2015
I just recently started posting, after years of lurking about. I mentioned on another thread that my SO and I have been together for 7 years and are currently designing a ring, with plans to be married by 2015.
While we have talked about marriage extensively, he still wants to do a “proper proposal,” so that we have a great story to tell our friends and one-day children. He worries sometimes that living together for so long before marriage will take away the “magic” of getting engaged, as everyone just assumes we will never get married at this point.
My current concern comes from wanting him to feel in control of the proposal, even though I have been at the helm for the ring. Once he told me to move forward with finding the ring I want and using the stones from our families, I began looking into custom designers online. We went through two before I found a guy that understood the style I wanted to achieve, the price range we needed, and a great set of credentials. I decided on the style, the metal, the final price, and my name is on all of the current paperwork.
Now, SO has been totally cool with this, as he is a self-proclaimed procrastinator, and has joked that is he was left in charge, we’d have to elope (i asked to elope last year, and he told me that we were going to have the best wedding, and he worried that we would regret eloping..i don’t take it well as a joke). So, I made arrangements, we worked out payment, and now we wait. 12 weeks.
My real question for you all: how do i give him more of the power back for the proposal? I am already planning for our designer to send the ring in my SO’s name, so I will only know when it is shipped, but not when it arrives. The plan from there is for him to plan something “spectacular” (his words) to officially ask. I am trying so hard not to talk about the ring now, since it is already chosen and beign made, and I am worried that I am pushing him. We have a timeline (engaged by winter 2013, married winter 2014), but I want to help him suprise me, if that makes sense.
I think I am just worried that I have robbed him of something by designing my own ring, knowing the exact specs and price, and even knowing when it is supposed to arrive. Any suggestions to toss more into his court?
Also, any suggestions to calm my brain down about waiting?