Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2014 - Restaurant
I never thought I would say this because I thought I was the most laid-back girlfriend ever about marriage stuff.
But we started looking at rings about 4 months ago and right now I am just waiting. But the anxiety is starting. It could be this weekend, or maybe he hasn’t even bought the ring yet, I just don’t know! I feel like it isn’t real… Like it happens to other people but I could never imagine MYSELF actually engaged.
Then I start thinking about the wedding and how much $$ it is going to cost. Some of my engaged/married friends talk about how much they spent and it just makes me nauseous and I feel like that will NEVER happen for us with our financial situation.
It’s not that I am scared of getting engaged, it’s just the limbo we’re in right now is making me feel crazy!
Post # 3
@lucygirl1: Yep! I go back and forth. One day I’m excited, the next day I’m super nervous. I have always HATED asking for money for anything. I can’t imagine having to talk to my dad about planning a wedding. UGH!
I too had a moment where I could picture engagement happening to other people but to think of my SO on one knee, saying a bunch of sweet stuff and ACTUALLY muttering those 4 little words…Its hard for me to believe that will ever happen to me!
Post # 4
@lucygirl1: being on this site is corruputing me!! I LOVE weddings and its no secret that I watch Friday is Brides Day on TLC hahah, but I always knew we wouldnt be getting married anytime soon and I was OK with that. We have talked about it and want it, but financially we want to be ready and also I wanted to be done with school and now I have no idea what is going to happen with my school situation and how long it will take BUT i find myself wondering when it will be and hoping for it to be alot sooner than planned. Im waiting but not waiting. Atleast you know it is definately happening sometime soon, but i can imagine your anxiety! Everytime he says something sweet or you go out to dinner you’re on edge. Try to enjoy your time together before he pops the question and all the stress of paying for and planning a wedding comes in to play.
Post # 5
@lucygirl1: I was the same. FI proposed on our 6th anniversary. I never had any anxiety about it until around 5 years in. Then I started getting super anxious about it, and I am always pretty laid back about everything. I hope this doesn’t scare you, but FI proposed 1.5 years after we looked at rings! lol
“Like it happens to other people but I could never imagine MYSELF actually engaged.“
This is pretty much how I’ve felt the last 2 months we’ve been engaged. We’ve looked at venues and one woman called us “the bride and groom” and in my head I was like HOLY SHIT. I’ve been a BM 5 times, so I always see others getting married, and it’s surreal that it’s happening to us. At our engagement party, people asked me how it feels to be engaged, and I said “weird!…..a good weird, but it still feels weird!” lol
Post # 6
@lucygirl1: FI and I picked out the ring together. He proposed when we’d been together 7 years 3 months (and 2 days lol). I knew when the ring was delivered to the apartment (although FI thinks he kept it secret!), and the week and a half before he proposed I was SO anxious! I was very much “Holy crap, he has the ring, but will he actually propose?” And then when he did propose, I was definitely freaking out! “OMG is this happening?!?!” My heart was going crazy–FI actually asked me if my heart was going to explode because it was beating so fast. Shortly after we got engaged, I was very much “Yay I get to plan a wedding!…Uhhh…I have to plan a wedding?!”
Don’t worry, you are not alone in feeling many mixed emotions with a pending engagement! Even when we know we want it, it’s still very intense and overwhelming!
Post # 7
I was fine before we got engaged, but then we got engaged and I started freaking about the costs of a wedding! Luckily, we got a copy of A Practical Wedding, and we wound up having our Church wedding/luncheon/ after party out dancing in a party bus that night for only 4K for 42 guests/the drinks for 20 people that night!
Post # 8
@lucygirl1: I definitely wind up feeling anxiety at times. It hadn’t been happening for a while, but today I had a bad episode where I got pretty shaky and had heart fluttering (not in a good way) thinking about how I’ll have to be the center of attention if we have a wedding. I am a shy and introverted person, so I really really don’t like the idea of all those people watching me.
And I’m also frugal, so thinking about the amount of money we might wind up spending causes me some anxiety as well. When I get anxious though, its usually because I’m tired of waiting. We’ll be celebrating 6 years together next month and the whole waiting game is getting kind of old.
Post # 9
@lucygirl1: me too!!! I was completely relaxed about the topic until he brought it up last year. We recently set a month when we are getting ready and the planning is scaring me. I haven’t started planning officially as yet because I too am still waiting on the ring. That caused the anxiety to disappear. I was yearning for it last week… now i’m not!
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
I can relate to feeling like it happens to other people but not me. And then that makes me feel like it won’t happen ever (it’s not like I have an actual time line or anything either) but then I also thought I’d never find someone who likes me enough to be in a long term relationship with me 🙂 so maybe I’ll get lucky twice.
I was also worrying about money but then I started thinking about how to make it small and affordable 🙂 so now Ihave a plan that might cost about £2000 at most, I’d happily go without the wedding part of it if it meant I can be with my BF ^^
Post # 11
@lucygirl1: You could be me! My SO and I are researching wedding things to get a head start on planning once we do get officially engaged… And some nights after he’s gone to bed I’ll be looking at how much different local venues cost, and it just makes me want to cry when I remember we’re not playing with Monopoly money and we don’t have anywhere near that amount in the bank. I just have to calm myself down and take it one step at a time. First we’ll worry about getting engaged, and then we can figure out how to scrape together the money to get married. And I hate the unknown. At this point I am nervous about an engagement, but I see it as a necessary step towards being married. I’m nervous about telling my dad (who loves my SO but has been known to react unpredictably to “good” news), I’m nervous about the expense, I’m nervous about it changing our relationship… And I’m anxious about officially wedding planning! I haven’t conquered the anxiety so I don’t know if I can offer you any advice, but know that you are not alone!