Post # 1
Hi Fellow Waiting Bees,
There have been a few posts lately about other waiting bees who are in LDRs with their SO.
I am also in an LDR (although we haven’t been long distance for our entire relationship, just the past year and a half)
I was just curious as to where you bees were at (living with SO, living separately, living with parents, long distance…)
Post # 3
@plum_pudding: you’re a better woman than I am, because I think an LDR would kill me. Although I’d do it if that’s the circumstance I was in. You have my respect 🙂
I’m waiting too; our living situation is interesting, lol. When we first started dating, I was living in the main part of our city, and he was all the way downtown (about 20 minutes apart when there’s NO traffic. 30 when there is). My lease ended, and I decided I didn’t really need a 2 BR townhouse on the other side of town when I was only there for a small amount of time anyway–I was always at his place. So I started looking for apartments, and a 1 BR opened up at his high-rise downtown. I gently asked his thoughts on me moving to his building (because I didn’t want to seem like I was invading his space, even though we’d been together almost a year at this point). Thankfully, he said he’d been thinking of suggesting it too, so I moved in.
I told him no living together “officially” until we’re engaged, but this is a good compromise. We live on the same hall, and honestly my apartment has become a glorified (expensive) closet because I am always at his apartment. But right now, it works. The way our schedules are right now, if we weren’t doing this little arrangement, we’d only see each other on the weekends. But the other night without thinking I said, “Good lord I am so over my apartment! They should put some of my rent on yours, since I’m here more than there anyway.” He said, “Well just remember, your apartment is only temporary these days.” Then he started asking when my lease ends and stuff…so maybe that’s a hint. I dunno.
Anyway, to answer your question in the most longwinded way ever: we live in the same building, same hall, but technically different apartments until we get engaged. Lol. 🙂
Post # 4
@plum_pudding: SO and I have been living together for 3.5 years and we bought a HOUSE together 15 months ago! But no engagement yet (we both knew going into the purchase of our home that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together though)
But still, quite a purchase! Looks like we’re doing everything a$$ backwards! lol
Long distance would be so difficult! Definitely takes a strong couple to be able to do that! 🙂
Post # 5
Wow, that is funny! Same building and same floor and everything!
We’ve been together almost 4 years now. I also would prefer not to move in with him until we are officially engaged (which is sort of how the LDR came about in the first place). Hopefully it won’t be too much longer. 🙂
Post # 6
@MrsHalpert: OMG, we called my house ‘the closet’ for the last year!
We each had our own house, but the reality was, I have lived with him for over a year. I didn’t want to move in until we were engaged, but he spent over $100k to alter his house so I could move in. I figured that showed how serious he was about me and our future. When the work was completed I officially moved in, and I sold my house so we could buy a vacation house
Post # 7
Another LDR here, 4000+ miles that are unlikely to be shortened any time soon. When we started dating our careers were both stable and we had dispossable income for traveling – that changed and now we’re both struggling to make ends meet on the day to day. Our feelings for each other are still strong though and having each other has definitely made some of the hard times a whole hell of a lot better, even if hugs aren’t really an option.
Post # 8
@plum_pudding: I hope you get your proposal soon so you guys can get the ball rolling! 🙂 I’m sending all my happy thoughts your way, lady!
@lionsheart: girl it’s ridiculous and funny. The only time I’m hanging out in The Closet is when I get dressed for work in the mornings. Most mornings he leaves me his key so I can let myself in when I get home from work. All of our groceries are in his fridge. Literally I use The Closet for showering and dressing. Haha I’m so ready for us to have OUR place
Post # 9
I live with my SO, officially moved in 3 months ago even though I had barely slept in my own house for months prior to that. I had lived with someone before and after we (messily) parted ways only a few months before my current SO and I got together, I vowed to never live with another man again unless we were engaged – but I have no regrets! Just kinda funny how life works sometimes 🙂
Post # 10
We live together. When we first met, I had my own place, and SO haad a roommate who had a GF that was ALWAYS over. It got to where he basically staye at my place with our dogs (they aren’t big dog people), and they basically had the apt to themselves…then they decided to move in together last July….and then SO and I moved in together.
We’ve been living together ever since! Which I prefer…because I’m pretty co-dependent lol…
Post # 11
We dont live together. I live with my parents and he lives with his grandparents. We live in the same town, about 15/20 minutes away from each other.
As of right now, we cant live together unless we are married. The University that my SO is attending is a Christian based school, non-married students are not allowed to live together even if they live off campus. A lot of people told us that a University cant tell you who you can live with if you live off campus and that we can get away with it but its one of those better safe than sorry things. I would much rather us be on the safe side not live together than us trying to secretly live together and the Unversity finding out and possibly him getting his scholarships taken away. Im not sure what the penalty is if a non-married couple gets caught living together but having your scholarships taken away would be logical or getting kicked out of the University.
Post # 12
Yikes! That’s quite a distance. Good for you that you can make it work though!
I know what you mean about time/money for visiting though. I can drive to my SO’s place in just over an hour (which is lucky), but because I’ve gone back to school I don’t have enough free time to be there as often as I’d like to.
Post # 13
@marie02: yay for waiting with houses! SO and I bought one about 4 years ago. We had the option of going ahead and getting engaged and whatnot and waiting on the house, but we were so tired of renting terrible places. So, we bought a house and got another dog (we have 2 now). We will have been living there 5 years when we finally get married.
In our 7 years together, we have spent 6.5 of them living together, 4 in our house, and I wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂
Post # 14
I’m still living at home but I plan to move out next year. SO lives on his own. I stay with him about two nights a week, though!
Post # 15
@steph_lady: Oh, yay! I’m happy to see there’s another bee in the same position as me out there! 🙂
Honestly, I would not have it any other way, either. It was so important for me and my SO to live together for a loooong time before we ever decided on taking the next step. I think there is just so much you learn about someone when you live with them. I certainly wouldn’t have it any other way, either!
Buying a house together was something I’m so glad I got to experience before ever being engaged or married. It’s certainly not for everyone, but it was something that we were ready for and it worked for us. It can be quite stressful purchasing a property (as you know!) and it was great for me to be able to see how he handled the stress. Plus, buying a house takes a lot of teamwork, maybe some compromissing on certain things and a TON of open communication…great relationship building exercise you could say! lol
I think how one manages finances is a huge part of marriage (one of the highest divorce rates is due to stress about money) and owning this property together has really shown me how responsible he is with mortgage payments etc.
We were ready to move in together 6 months into our relationship and we thought, why not! Plus, when we do finally get married we’ll already have our home together (and our cat!)That’s one big thing already crossed off the list! 😉
Post # 16
- Wedding: April 2014 - Rebar
@plum_pudding: I still live with my parents. N SO lives on his own. We recently bought a home together but i wont be moving in till after the wedding date. We are planning to get married next year in April. I am bit more traditional when it comes to living together before marriage…not that i disaprove of course but i think for SO and it works!